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immortalxkiss's Journal


immortalxkiss's Journal

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11 entries this month
 

22:43 Jan 31 2022
Times Read: 188


Another amazing weekend with mi amor comes to an end all too soon. I just got home and I miss him already. He did wake me up in the nerdiest way, though, informing me that Sony bought Bungie. Which kinda set me into a mood because I just know, that even though Sony claims they will be an "independent subsidiary" I know it spells trouble for the future of the Destiny franchise. We're going to wind up right back where we were in Destiny 1, where Playstation gets the exclusive content for at least a year before other platforms do. I knew they would make movies after Microsoft bought Activision / Blizzard, but Bungie? Man, Bungie is looking like a real whore at this point. First Microsoft, then Activision, and now Sony. Who won't they sell themselves to? Is Nintendo next?

But yeah... Bullshit video game stuff aside, I hate coming home. Leaving him. It's so hard only getting the weekends together.


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20:34 Jan 27 2022
Times Read: 236


I think I finally caught the Omicron variant. My brother tested positive yesterday at work, and I've been spending a lot of time at their place, plus Logan and I go out every weekend, testing fate. So, it is a real possibility. I'm getting tested in a little bit, just to make sure. The only really symptom I'm having is fatigue. But, I'm always tired, so I'm not sure it is even due to Covid. I do t know. I don't feel all that awful. Just the tiredness and some congestion. For all I know, this could just be a cold. Guess I'll know by tomorrow if it is Covid, since I don't think I'll get my results today, with how late I'm going in for my test. I really hope it's isn't Covid, as I would like to be able to see Logan this weekend.


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LORDMOGY
LORDMOGY
21:20 Jan 27 2022





 

05:13 Jan 26 2022
Times Read: 278


I've always said that I do better when I'm in a relationship. I focus less on the depressions, I'm far less likely to allow myself to spiral. Why? Because it's easier to keep out of my head when I'm talking to someone, spending time with someone. And with Logan, we are pretty consistantly in contact through the day, at night we hop on calls and watch things together, or just talk about random nonsense. I haven't had an episode since meeting him. And I'm so thankful for that. Plus, him being a licensed psychiatrist is rather helpful, because I know he'd be able to handle me when I do slip. We've talked about it at length, and he understands that I don't need to be fixed. I am the way I am, I'll always be the way I am, but it doesn't mean I'm broken. It doesn't mean I need someone to fix me. I don't. This is probably the healthiest relationship I've ever been in, and that's pretty sad. That it's taken me this long to find something stable. I am capable of being on my own, more than capable, really. But it doesn't mean it makes me better to be alone. It doesn't. It never has. I'm thankful for Logan, thankful that he understands me, accepts me. All of me.


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05:03 Jan 23 2022
Times Read: 328


It's been a weekend of movies since I've been home as Logan has his daughter for the weekend. I watched Ghostbusters: Afterlife and The Last Duel.

Ghostbusters was really really good. As someone who has seen the original Ghostbusters hundreds of times, (my brother loved it when we were kids so we watched it a lot), I can say that Afterlife was such a loving tribute and continuation of the first film. The children actors were well cast, it was all well cast, honesty, and the cameos of the original actors was just so good. I loved it. Maybe a lot of that is pure 80's nostalgia, as I said, I grew up watching the original film many a time, but I don't think it's just that. It's a fun flick.

Second was The Last Duel. I originally heard about this film last year, before it came out. I'm a sucker for a medieval drama. However, i think most people know about it because Ridley Scott is fucking bonkers and went off blaming Millennials constantly being on our phones or some shit and that's why it bombed in theaters. Nevermind that no one knew it came out (even those of us who actually wanted to see it), and that we're still in the midst of a pandemic and people aren't going out to the movies right now. However, all that said, it was an amazing film. It's about the true story of the last judicial duel in medieval France regarding accusations of a rape. It centers around two men, one a knight (Matt Damon), the other a squire (Adam Driver), and the knight's wife (Jodie Comer). The wife accuses the squire of rape and the knight demands a trial by combat, judgement by God over who is right and wrong. The Knight wins and the squire dies, denounced as a rapist. The story is told in three parts, first being the perspective of the knight, second, that of the squire, and thirdly, that of the wife. It's amazing. The combat alone is worth the watch, as it does combat of that time justice. It's also wonderfully acted, some of the best performances I've seen in a while, the sets are beautiful, and the costuming is spot on. Did the squire actually rape the wife? It's actually been proven time and time again over the years that yeah, he most likely did. It is a famous case from that period, and definitely a famous case in France. And while the squire's family has tried and tried again to clear the name of the squire, even they have had to admit that he most likely was a rapist. He was a known womanizer in the French court, so it's not that big a stretch. I highly recommend watching it if you can. It's a good 2 and a half hours, but it does not feel that at all.


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04:46 Jan 17 2022
Times Read: 380


Another amazing weekend comes to an end far too soon. Yesterday, after the drive, Logan and I grabbed some lunch at Carney's, which I had never been to. It's a little hot dog/hamburger joint inside an old train car in Studio City. Not the best chili burger I've ever had, but it was good. After that we just hung out for a bit. Later on in the evening we went out to a nice hookah lounge in Encino that his friend manages. We went there last weekend, too, but I like the atmosphere and it's just a really nice little hang out spot. We can spend a handful of hours there, just enjoying each other's company. He had gotten his Covid booster on Friday, so unfortunately he wasn't feeling the best. When we got back to the room, he was dealing with a mild fever that only got worse as the night progressed. But, we did watch a few episodes of Game of Thrones. He hasn't seen it, so we're watching it together. Then bed around 2 AM. Poor guy, the fever was really kicking his ass with the chills and such. I felt awful not being able to do anything for him. But, we got through the night, and today we took a drive down to the beach. Drove through Malibu for a bit, stopped near his Alma Mater and watched the ocean for a while. Then we drove down a bit further and spent a few hours at the Santa Monica Pier. It was nice. Granted, I did kill the fun rather abruptly for reasons... But even so, just sitting there in silence while I was upset with him for something totally stupid was still nice. It's just so fucking hard to see him only on the weekend. Like, it's seriously hard. And it's really getting to me. I know we talk every day, do things together while on the phone, but it isn't the same as actually being there together in person. And that's what kills me. When I have to go home. But after the pier we got some food and then had a very drawn out goodbye because leaving him is damn near impossible for me. Now I'm home and miserable. Another long week before I'll get to be with him again. This is utterly painful. I know it could be so much worse, he could be father away, in another state, another country. I'm pretty lucky to be able to spend time with him in person at all. I know. But still... I'm all, about spending time with my partner, and only getting that on the weekend is torture. I hate this. He's worth it, of course, but I hate the situation.


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02:19 Jan 13 2022
Times Read: 429


So, Valentine's Day is coming up rather quick. I have never really been one to buy into Valentine's Day as a whole, I hate the commercialization of love, expectations that one must show that they love their significant other because...society says so? Ithink it's stupid. I show my partner that I care for him every day. However, I understand that there is an expectation there to get a gift. He's already stated that he wants to get me something, despite my saying it's definitely not necessary and if he wants to give me something, I'd prefer it on a day that isn't dedicated specifically for that. Surprise me. However all that said, since he has stated he's planning something, I feel it somewhat necessary that I do the same. But, what do you get someone who has everything they could possibly want? He's talking about taking me to Club 33 at Disneyland, something I could definitely never do on my own since I don't have that kind of money to throw at Disney. So, that would be an amazing gift for me since I could never, not even with knowing people who work for Disney, get into Club 33. But what could I possibly get him that would amount up to the Club 33 experience? I'm thinking something related to Alice in Wonderland, which is one of his favorite books. Maybe find a really nice art piece or something. But, I feel like I'm at a total disadvantage here, since I can't really afford something spectacular for him. I'm sure he'd like whatever I got him, but it just makes me feel somewhat inadequate when I compare what I can do with what he can.


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22:09 Jan 10 2022
Times Read: 472


Saying goodbye is always the hardest part.

I hate that we only really get the weekends together. The 76 miles between us isn't a lot, but depending on the time of day, it could take anywhere between an hour or four to get to one another. Gotta love that SoCal/LA traffic. So, really, the weekends are the only things we can manage right now. And it sucks. But, we'll get through this. He's talking about finding a place closer to me, or us just moving in together at some point in the near future, so I'll have that to look forward to. We just have to get through this difficult part first.


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03:32 Jan 08 2022
Times Read: 518


Covid scare with work, so I decided to just get the booster. I got the vaccine early last you (March/April), and with things ramping up the way they are in SoCal again, I figured to just get it out of the way. So, I have that appointment tomorrow. Hopefully it won't hit me as bad as the first dose of the vaccine did. That shit knocked me off my feet for days.

Also, my father was in a pretty bad car accident yesterday on the 605 as he was coming home from work. Some guy robbed a bank and stole a car, rear-ended my dad, which caused him to spin out and hit a big rig. His truck is a total loss, the bed is bent to shit and the front crumpled. The only thing that wasn't damaged was the cab. The truck being what it is, he had a Dodge Ram 1500, is probably what saved his life. Had it been any other car, he likely would have been severely injured or could have even lost his life. So yeah... That's a thing we have to deal with now.


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15:36 Jan 06 2022
Times Read: 551


We've taken to watching things together on phone calls since we can't be together in person during the week. I introduced him to the show, Fleabag, and we watched both seasons of that, finishing it up last night. Tonight I think I'll introduce him to Game of Thrones, since he's never watched it before. That should be fun, I'm kinda eager to see what he'll think of the infamous final season. But, it's been fun. At lease it's a way for us to enjoy time together when we're stuck so far apart. The physical distance between us is the absolute worst.


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21:40 Jan 03 2022
Times Read: 600


Is this what a healthy adult relationship is? Because God damn, I've never had something like this. He's not my boyfriend, he's my partner. We're working together to build something that will last, a true partnership.


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01:16 Jan 02 2022
Times Read: 645


Well, my New Year's Eve and Ney Year's Day were pretty damn wonderful. After the drive out to Hidden Hills he took me out to the Commons, we had some dinner and then we went down to the beach near his alma mater, Pepperdine. We watched the sunset and just listened to the waves for a while. It was heaven. Then we went back to Hidden Hills and drove around looking at some of the Christmas lights before going back to his place where I showed him Helluva Boss and we just cuddled for a while. I dozed off for a bit, but he woke me up around 11:58 and we rang in the new year together. Had our midnight kiss, all the fun couple stuff. Then we smoked some hookah and some of my vape and them back to cuddles before we fell asleep. As lovely as it was to fall asleep with him, it's all together more amazing to wake up next to him. So yeah, I can say it was probably the best New Year's Eve I've had. Though, leaving him today was hard. It's always so hard.


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