Time is a funny thing. When too much of it passes, it alters things, changes things so that they can never be the same again. You try connecting with people who once made you smile, and you find you can't hold a conversation with them anymore. You don't laugh at the jokes. It's just... Off. Everything is different. Perhaps it's time to let those people go, and to walk away from things completely. It's too much work to try and constantly get nothing out of it.
Went and created my own clan in Destiny. I never want to experience what I delt with last night, and I want to create a place where no one else will have to deal with that kind of bullshit either. Now the really hard part will be getting people to join.
I think I'm done with Xbox for a while...
I was playing Destiny, trying to get through the weekly raid. So I join an LFG group to get it done. Throughout the entire raid I had to deal with this one guy who was just being a complete ass to me. Just hitting on me and being a general dick even when I said I wasn't interested. Once should be enough, but no. I said it multiple times. I just wanted to get things done. So, we get to the point where the final boss was nearly dead, and the asshole kicks me from the fireteam.
It's not the first time it's happened, and that's the shit part. This is a behavior I have had to deal with since starting online gaming. I grew up playing video games. I loved them. But now... It's just toxic and I'm so tired of it.
Here watching my nephew so my brother and sister-in-law could go catch a movie. He seems pretty enraptured by Moana. It's probably just the noise and the colors, but he's sitting here with me watching it. It's adorable.
I found out that they make a little landspeeder from Star Wars, and I'm seriously thinking about buying one for Lucas. He won't be able to use it for another few years, but I want to get it. Maybe that will be his Christmas present this year. Luke needs his landspeeder!
Destiny talk, yay! You've been warned.
I'm seriously considering starting my own clan for when Destiny 2 drops. The one I'm currently a part of, that I dragged Chris and Joe into, it's just not that great. Half of the members will be splitting their time between Xbox and Playstation when D2 drops, and while that's fine for them, it doesn't work well for the clan as a whole. Clans are going to tie into D2 in a way that it's more beneficial to have numerous active members on the same console. And, if half the members are going to be splitting time on two (or even three) different platforms, it doesn't bode well for those who play exclusively on one system. So, I'm trying to see if Chris and Joe would be a fan of that option. I know Chris wants to leave as well, since he and I are on the same page concerning the situation. We'll see. I haven't heard back from Chris yet, so I don't know how he feels about the prospect. I know he's not one to want to be in the leadershop/administration role, but he'd have to be if we started our own clan. I think Joe would go for it, but I don't know he may rejoin with the people we used to play with.
The Destiny 2 Beta dropped today for the Xbox. I played a little bit of it. Ran through the first mission so I could have one of each class, did the strike and ran a few matches of PvP on my Titan.
First impressions: I absolutely LOVE what they did to the crucible. No longer is it more ability and super based, it really focuses on your gunplay and teamwork. Grenades, melees, none of it is a one hit kill anymore. The Titan shoulder charge, fusion grenades, all of it will bring the person's health down to around half, but you have to actually put shots into them for the kill. And, I love that. It really separates a lot of players, I think. Some people did just run around in Destiny 1, falling back on grenades and melee and supers as opposed to real gunplay. I may have been one of those people. But over the last few months I've really been focusing on using my abilities less and my weapons more. So, I think I'm more than prepared for Destiny 2's launch as far as PvP is concerned. However, I don't like not having a real heavy weapon anymore. They changed things up so now in your first two weapon slots you have your primaries (scouts, autos, pulse, sidearms, and submachine guns), and where you would find your heavy weapons in Destiny 1, you now have "power" weapons (shotguns, grenade launchers, and sniper rifles), and you don't gain ammo for said power weapons like you did in Destiny 1. Now, instead of two ammo crates on opposite sides of the map, where everyone in a certain radius gets the ammo if opened by their fire team, you have four or five little things on the walls of the map, and it's a first come first served style, meaning only 1 person gets the power ammo. It leads to some hatred when you're fighting a teammate for an ammo box. Another thing I do like, is that now if you're trying to revive or pick up power ammo, if you get hit by the opposite team, the process resets. So you have to fight tooth and nail for revives and ammo. Which, is how it peobably always should have been. All in all, I really like what changes they brought to PvP. It seems far more balanced than it was all of Destiny 1. I'm sure people will still find things to bitch about, because people are just like that, but from what I've played, what I've watched major streamers saying yesterday and today, and what I've seen other general people in the gaming community who've been able to play around in crucible say, there's a general concensus that these changes are a great thing. Balance has finally been brought to the crucible. It only took them 3 years and a new game to get it right.
As far as the subclasses go for the Titan, Hunter, and Warlock, I haven't made up my mind which I like best. I do like the Titans and their ability to put up walls, it's great for playing crucible. And, I think the Sentinel subclass is fun to play with. Who doesn't want a Captain America shield made of void energy?! But, I do miss my hammers. I was a total fan of the Sunbreaker subclass ever since they introduced it in Destiny 1. I haven't had much time to play around with the Hunter or Warlock yet outside of the first story mission. But, I do like the Warlock's new Dawnbreaker subclass. I'm so glad they did away with the self revive nonsense. And Hunters... They seem the same as they were in Destiny 1. Build for PvP more than PvE. The Acrstrider or whatever it's actually called, feels just like Bladedancer did in Destiny 1, only now there's a staff instead of the duel daggers. I don't know, I need to go in and play more to really get a feel for things. I'm enjoying it, though. From what little I did play, it was very enjoyable and didn't make me want to rip my hair out and throw my controller across the room. So, yay for that.
So, the Doctor is going to be a female for the first time in the history of the show, and I'm excited for that. I think it's such a long overdue change. So many people are angry and upset, but, I'm more than happy to give Jodie Whittaker a chance and see what she brings to the role.
Also, new Game of Thrones tonight! Only this season and next season then it's over. All we'll have are the last three books, should Martin ever set about to writing and publishing them.
The little things that make me smile.
Babysitting my nephew again. The days I get to spend with him make me so unbelievably happy. Family. I'll happily give up my few days of relaxation to spend time watching this little boy. Because, while I do talk about video games a lot, right here, right here with this baby smiling in his rocker next to me, this is what's most important in my life.
It's funny, out of all the people I used to talk to, I actually think I may miss you the most. You gave me someone to talk to when I was at a really low point in life, you made me smile and laugh. I just miss that. I miss the conversations. I miss feeling like I wasn't always alone. I miss you.
For shits and giggles, tonight I streamed for a bit. I found a way to keep Destiny fun for me while I wait for the Beta to drop. I basically throw on my lowest Light gear and weapons and throw myself into crucible matches. And, sure, Light has no real impact in regular crucible, but you do notice a difference. For one, with my low Light set up, I have no Intallect, Discipline, or Strength, which means my super takes upwards of five and a half minutes to charge, and my melee and grenades both take a full minute to charge. Plus, I only get one grenade, which isn't something I opt for if I can help it. And since I have no low Light artifacts, I had to buy one of the stupid filter ones they sell in the kiosk. Which made everything difficult to see because of the stupid blue tint it threw on my screen. I also used vanilla Destiny weapons. Mida, which shouldn't count as its just a lower Light version of the year 2 Mida, which is my go-to scout rifle for all things PvP related in Destiny. I used the old Vestian Dynasty, which, for a sidearm, really packs a punch. I don't know why I never used it before, and my favorite LMG from year 2, my trusty Against All Odds, which is so fucking fun to play with! I've missed that gun. The armor is really where you notice the difference. I am not fully armored up like a Titan should be and it gets me killed. Plus the inconvenience of the super/grenade/melee deal I mentioned before. It was actually really fun and a great way for me to see where my weapon skill level is. Since I wasn't relying on my grenades and my super like I tend to in regular PvP, it made me focus more on my gunplay and my positioning. I've come a long, long way from where I was when I fisted started playing PvP in 2014. I'm not super good, but fuck if I can't hold my own and dish out some sweet, sweet murderin'. It was fun, up until the last match where I encountered the try-hards. I had to switch back to my normal PvP setup and wreck house because my opponents were pissing me off that much.
I got the Destiny 2 beta all installed and ready to go for next Wednesday, when it opens for early access on the One. I'm excited. I'm not going to have as much free time to play as I hoped I would, but even a few hours just to get a feel for all three classes would work for me. I mean, maybe on the weekend I can pull what I did with the Destiny 1 beta and play for thirteen hours straight. Haha. Totally not going to happen, but yeah. I'm really hoping it sucks me in like the original game did. I love Destiny, and it would be awful if I, for some reason or another, hated Destiny 2. I'm most eager for the 4v4 PvP matches. No more Rumble, no more 3v3 and 6v6 modes. It's all just 4v4 and I love that. And, I want to get my hands on the Titan. From everything I've seen, I'll probably continue to main a Titan.
Mario wants to give me his Elgato HD60 capture card. That's like, a $150 capture card, one of the top of the line deals. And he wants to give it to me. Free. Just when I said I wasn't going to really focus on streaming I get offered a key component, and an expensive one at that. Man, I don't even know what to say.
I haven't streamed in a few weeks. It's just, all I really play is Destiny and Diablo, when I do play, and my character build on Diablo makes things boring to watch, as I just run a Necromancer with the bone armor build, so very little is an actual problem for me to take on. Plus, I'm just waiting for the new season to start up. As for Destiny, I don't play it much these days because I have everything. I've completed the game in its entirety. It's become insanely boring to play. I'm just waiting for the Beta to drop next week. Streaming isn't something that has been all that appealing to me. I'll probably wind up losing what few followers I actually have, but I'm okay with that. I'm kind of over the streaming thing. I don't play with the people who got me into it anymore, and I'm not all that intrresting to interact with. So, meh. If I do do it, it will only ever be just a hobby. When Destiny 2 come out, I don't know. Maybe I'll pick it up again and be just a Destiny streamer. I think I just got into it a little too late for it to be a relevant thing presently.
Watching the same people take digs at one another constantly is getting tiring. I want to just say grow up, but no one listens. No one cares. People are pretty fucking content just being assholes to one another. So, carry on.
I just found out that on my birthday, the 10th of August, they are showing the original Tron and Tron: Legacy at the El Capitan Theater out in LA. I may have to see about getting a ticket and going to see it. That would be the perfect way to ring in my 30th birthday.
I'm playing babysitter for my nephew today and tomorrow. And while I normally won't be a fan of watching a kid for 6+ hours for two days, I'm pleased to do it with little Lucas. Funny how that works. I'm at my brother and sister-in-law's new house for the first time, and it's so perfect for them. Super cute but with more than enough space for everything. Lucas isn't fussy today like he was the last time I watched him, which is nice. I love that kid, but he tries my patience with the constant whining. I actually got him down for a nap, so now I have nothing to really do until he wakes up for his lunch.
He's the most adorable thing ever.
Sitting here watching '1408', and while it's not my favorite John Cusack film, it's still fun to watch on occasion. When I was younger, in my teens and onward, I had such a crush on Cusack. From 'Say Anything' to 'High Fidelity' to 'Martian Child', 'Anastasia', 'Grosse Pointe Blank', even not so awesome films like 'Must Love Dogs' (which I actually loved), I have always been a fan, and I have always had a crush. There's just something about him and the characters he plays that I find really appealing, attractive. I miss seeing him in films.
I started watching Glow on Netflix, Chris and another friend both raved about it, so I figured I would give it a go. It is freaking hilarious.
I actually grew up watching wrestling, my brother was a big fan up until he got to high school which meant I had to watch it. But this show, it's all that late '80s and early' 90s awesomeness that wrestling used to be. I am throughly enjoying it.
It's so funny. I honestly thought I was over Chris. Over us. I mean, it's been a year and a half, how long am I really going to dwell on things? Apparently forever... It's just, things are so good between us these days. We're at a level we should have been at the beginning, but never reached before attempting a relationship. A real, honest-to-god friendship, an extremely solid foundation. We talk, we text, we laugh, we game together. It's perfect in its simplicity, in its realness. It's not forced, it's not strained, it's what it should have always been: Easy. He doesn't even push me away anymore. He's more open with me. Sure, a lot of our conversations do tend to revolve around video games, but it's a hobby we're both very passionate about. But, we also talk about life, general things, what's going on with each of us. Far more than we used to, even when we were together. It's silly, I know, to hang on to a hope that one day we'll get back together, that one day everything will be as it should have been, especially after so long, but, I can't help it. We've stuck it out this long, so maybe there is a chance it'll happen? Things have had their ups and downs with us, and those downs, were they ever serious downs. To the point where I thought I'd lost him completely on more than one occasion, but, here we are. Stronger than ever. I don't know, maybe I'm an idiot. Maybe we'll never get past where we are, perhaps this is where we're simply meant to be, but... Well, a girl can hope. Silly and futile as it may be.
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