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immortalxkiss's Journal

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22 entries this month
 

07:01 Jun 30 2017
Times Read: 734


I watched my nephew tonight. He's a little chubers, at 12 pounds already... They put him on a diet, to see how that goes. However, my brother is concerned about him, since all he wants to do is eat. I don't think it's anything serious, but they're going to take him to a specialist soon to see if it's anything to worry about. When I was watching him he was just a fussy little monster. I love that kid, but dude, he's got himself a set of lungs and is more than happy to use them to scream. And scream. And scream some more. I did get him to fall asleep to Daft Punk's Get Lucky at around 8, but for the entire time from 3 to 8 he was a fussy little fussypants. The only time he was quiet were the two times I fed him. But, I did enjoy the time I got to spend with him, even if he was crying most of the time.


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16:26 Jun 29 2017
Times Read: 748


I was watching Moana last night, because it's awesome, and I completely broke when her grandmother died. Just full on sobbing. I miss my Nana. And I can't believe it's already been two and a half months... Her birthday was on the 6th, we were supposed to do something, but my aunt Sue wasn't feeling upto it, so we didn't. I've been looking at the rose that they put some of her ashes in a lot lately. It's all I have left of her. I hate this. I hate missing someone I can't ever speak to again. It just leaves this gaping hole in my heart.


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06:51 Jun 28 2017
Times Read: 777


I get nothing out of idle chit-chat with people here. It doesn't amuse me, it doesn't entertain me, instead I find it rather annoying. So, if you're looking for simple conversation, I'd say you best look elsewhere. I'm fairly set in my ways after being a member for so long, I like the few people I like, and that's pretty much it. I'm not looking to make new friends, I'm not looking for romance. I talk to the few people I talk to and I'm happy with that. So, if I come off as rude or curt or short with you, it's my way of saying leave me the fuck alone. I don't enjoy conversing with random people here.


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Dakotah
Dakotah
07:34 Jun 28 2017

Normally that is the case with me as well in general here but once in awhile you find that one gem that can hold a good mature interesting conversation as I have found just recently. I know there are some out there if you are willing to search through the swamp that can be the others to find them.





 

04:55 Jun 28 2017
Times Read: 794


So, I caved and I bought the Necromancer pack for Diablo 3. Chris said he really liked playing it, "aesthetically pleasing to play" were his exact words. So, I got it. And, playing a few levels on my own was fun, then Chris power leveled me to 70, and it's even more fun. Far more fun than my Demon Hunter. I'm going to do some crafting and playing around with skills for a while, try to find something that fits my playstyle. I'm thinking a pet build, but I'm still on the fence about it. I'll craft the gear and try out the build, see how it goes. I've never been a fan of pet builds on any character in any game, but well, we'll see how it goes. For now, though, I think the Necromancer was worth the $15 price tag.


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21:10 Jun 27 2017
Times Read: 801


I was tempted to buy the new Necromancer nonsense for Diablo 3,since I can't stop playing it... But, 15 bucks is a lot to spend simply for a new class. It's not even anything new, just the new class, some cosmetic shit, and two additional character slots. And I'm very fond of my Demon Hunter, so I don't even know if I'd play the new class all that much after power leveling that bitch to 70. It's something to consider. I think Chris is getting it through Nathan, so I'll see how he likes it and how it plays first before making any decisions on buying it.


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19:19 Jun 24 2017
Times Read: 814


Plans changed. I'm watching my nephew Thursday night, and then I get to have him the while weekend while they move into the house. It's even better than jutlst having him on Friday. I worry sometimes, about the way that kid will be raised. But then I look at my brother and sister-in-law and realize they are both pretty "traditional" people. That kid isn't going to be their best friend, he isn't going to be referred to as "babyself" until he decides on whether he wants to be a he or a she, he'll be fucking vaxinated, he'll be discaplined and understand that he needs to respect his elders. People are so unbelievably nuts these days when it comes to their their children, but I don't think I have to really worry about that with Lucas. He'll be fine.


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17:23 Jun 23 2017
Times Read: 824


It's the worst when you have a dream about someone you haven't spoken to in years. Because then you wake up and realize just how much you miss that person being a part of your life. Though... Even in my dream I couldn't get a hold of him. I guess my subconscious knows better. I do miss the text messages and Skype calls. The conversations were never dull and he always made me think. I hate that I lost that.


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23:07 Jun 19 2017
Times Read: 841


Friday of next week I get to spend the whole day with my nephew. My brother and sister-in-law will be moving into their new house that weekend, and Liz wants to go in and clean it up, dust, vacuum, mop, all that before they actually start moving, since the house has been empty for a few months. And since she doesn't want Lucas around all that, and my brother will be working that day, I offered to take him for the day. So, it's going to just be me and little Luke, and I'm really looking forward to it. Primo bonding time with aunt Nikki.


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NITEOWL47
NITEOWL47
03:05 Jun 21 2017

Have fun! :)





 

10:48 Jun 19 2017
Times Read: 858


I've started playing Diablo III tonight. I mean, I bought the game about a month ago, but I haven't really played much of it in that time. I got really into it Friday night, playing on my own, but I didn't progress very far. I started playing it today. Chris and a few other friends helped me get to level 70, paragon 50, and helped me set up a good build for my play style. It's a lot like ESO was for me, only, I enjoy Diablo more than I did ESO. Tomorrow Chris is going to help me with my non-season character, which will actually be a lot easier to do since he can just make me gear for it. When playing seasonal characters, you can't mail things to other players, so you have to get by with what you can make yourself or what you pick up along the way until you hit 70 and get your full set of awesome gear. It's nice to have a game I can enjoy with Chris again. Destiny, as much as I love it, has gotten stale. It's just a waiting game for the Beta, and then for the release of Destiny 2 itself. So, having something else I can get lost in for a while is nice. And, boy, it's so easy to get lost in Diablo. I started playing with Chris around 8 pm and he got off about ten minutes ago at 2:30 am. So, it's easy to lose track of time.


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01:53 Jun 16 2017
Times Read: 890


I've been talking to Anthony these last few days. I was content just to forget he exists, but we got to texting and stuff, and well, he's ill. I thought this was just another bullshit ploy, he's not without an excessive amount of drama, but, no, he's really quite sick. With something there actually is no cure for save for a transplant, all he can do right now is maintain treatment and manage things. It sucks, you know, to be so young and to get struck with what he has. He's only 29. But, that's life, I suppose.

I've given up on the whole liking him thing. Getting burned twice will put you off a person, but I believe we can at the very least, be friends. He helped me get through a difficult time when my Nana passed away, just heaving someone there who would listen and talk to me. So, I can do the same for him, just be there if he needs or wants to talk. I don't expect anything, I just want to be there if needed.


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22:44 Jun 13 2017
Times Read: 918


So, I got Starz, and I'm finally able to take a look at American Gods, the show they based off my all-time favorite book by my all-time favorite author, Neil Gaiman. And... Halfway through the first episode, I'm just not feeling it. The characters are as they should be, Shadow is how I pictured him, Wednesday is just as scheming as he is in the book, Mad Sweeney is Mad Sweeney, all played very well. But... I don't know. Maybe it's the music and sets that throw me off? The dream sequences annoy me, and they are a big part of the book. I hate that I'm not enjoying this like I wanted to. Like I hoped I would. I guess I'll give it a few more episodes, see if it doesn't draw me in as the story goes on.


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Slain
Slain
06:20 Jun 14 2017

I see VR still deletes comments upon editing. Bummer.





LadyDarkRayne
LadyDarkRayne
06:50 Jun 14 2017

omg I just love that show... The first episode was ehh ok but I kept with it and it has just really gotten so good.





immortalxkiss
immortalxkiss
09:09 Jun 15 2017

Six episodes in and it's like, nope, it's garbage. They turned my favorite story ever written into garbage. It's gratuitously gory for no reason other than a shock factor, and that bugs me. And it's just... I hate it. I hate it so much. I wanted to love it. I wanted to see them bring this amazing work of fiction to life, and to do it wonderfully, and they didn't. Not even close. It's just not a good show.

Maybe I'm biased because I love the book so much, and it will never be completely true to the book, but, I don't know, man. I just can't get into it. And I tried. I tried so hard. But, it's not my American Gods. It's just like the film adaptation of Coraline, absolute garbage.





 

07:55 Jun 13 2017
Times Read: 942


So, Bungie dropped this trailer off for Destiny 2 at E3 today... Early access for the Beta begins in little over a month! I'm freaking excited. I was given a code from one of my Twitch followers, because I won't be able to pre-order until August. And, this trailer, man, pretty dark. Gary (real name, Ghaul) is a jerk, thinking he's more worthy of the Traveller's Light than all the Guardians. Man, fuck Gary.


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MasterOfMadness
MasterOfMadness
09:18 Jun 13 2017

Goddamit Gary this is why you can't have nice things!





 

21:38 Jun 12 2017
Times Read: 962


I've never been a huge fan of the Assassin's Creed series, but the new one, Origins, seems pretty awesome. Maybe it's just because it takes place in Ancient Egypt, and that's a time period I have always loved. I am also really excited to get my hands on ANTHEM. It looks like the perfect blend of Destiny and Titanfall, as Chris said to me yesterday. So, I want to see how that one plays. I'll be keeping my eye on it until it gets released next year. Farcry 5 looks amazing, and I want it now. There's also a few others I want to check out, but those are the only two I'm super hyped about. I may watch the Playstation conference, but, I don't know. I don't have one and I'm unsure I'll be able to get one soon, what with the new Xbox coming out in a few months. So, meh. Destiny in September, Origins in October, no set date for Anthem save for next year, and the One X in November. It'll be a good fall and winter for this gamer.


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WickedLife
WickedLife
22:18 Jun 12 2017

I know what you mean!!! I'm actually excited about ANTHEM as well. AC Origins does look amazing and it caught my eye when they showed the trailer for it as well. I can't wait to get the new system in November as well! I think ours has just about had it as well. Lol!





Slain
Slain
00:20 Jun 13 2017

i'm gonna take the bet that it's simply because it's Egypt related. lol





 

05:29 Jun 12 2017
Times Read: 973


I've been watching the E3 Xbox conference today, and I have to say, I'm so eager for all of it. The new Xbox One X is something I'm going to have to buy come its launch in November, and there are some games I'm super eager to get my hands on.

Watching the Bethesda conference right now and... I'm not impressed. From what I gathered, it looks like they're bringing paid mods back. Which is pretty bullshit. And, just rehashing older games, like Fallout and Doom in VR, and Skyrim for the Switch. A few sequels, a new Dishonored and a new Evil Within. So... Nothing worth watching for so far.


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07:26 Jun 11 2017
Times Read: 999


I got another email from Joe tonight. He was all, "I have a girl friend who will probably end up being the mother of my children, should I choose to have them in this fucked up world." I laughed. Like flat out laughed at that. One, because, well, duh. I'm not stupid. Of course he has a girlfriend. And two, that was just totally the Joe I remember. He's retained that somewhat pessimistic attitude to this day.

I think that's why I gravitated to him like I did when I was 17, because I was all doom and gloom, pessimistic and sarcastic, as most teenagers tend to be. But, oh man, it's funny to see him the same way as he used to be. I probably shouldn't laugh at that, it's a messed up world view, but I can't really argue it either. Ah, it's good to see he still remains at least a portion of who he used to be. It makes me smile.


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02:50 Jun 11 2017
Times Read: 1,006


I went and saw my nephew today. I haven't been able to see him for the last three weeks or so, so I missed that little boy like crazy. It was so great seeing him, holding him. He's the greatest thing in the world. I can't believe he's going to be a month old on Tuesday. He is growing so quick. I'm fairly certain he's going to be a big kid, and he looks so much like my brother. Bah, little Lucas makes me so flipping happy, I swear. And, it's the funniest thing, but we've discovered dance music really calms him down. Oh, me and that kid are going to get along great.


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10:35 Jun 10 2017
Times Read: 1,018


I was going through some things earlier and I stumbled upon this. I think I wrote it back in 2008, the last time Joe and I really talked. The emails I have, they don't tell the whole story. This sheds somewhat better light on things I can't for the life of me remember correctly. Twelve years is an awfully long time. And, maybe, going down memory road isn't what one should do sometimes. Especially with old crushes.


Looking Back

I read over the lines
I had once written just for you.
Lines of hope, of love, of understanding
And I laugh, despite myself,
The naïveté, the innocence...

You were always right,
We were never meant to be.
And you understood that so perfectly.
And I...
I was just a young girl with high hopes.

You did what you could
To make sure you didn’t break me.
You kept your promise.
I only wish now that I could have kept mine.
I never meant to say what I said,
To become so attached,
That you had no other options
But to leave me here all alone.

I wonder, if I had let things go,
If I hadn’t tried to rush what we had,
Would you still be here for me?
It’s not so much that you’re gone,
It’s the fact that I pushed away one of my closest friends,
My most trusted of confidants.
One of the few people who took the time
To work their way past my walls,
Pull aside the masks,
To see who I really was inside.

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10:07 Jun 09 2017
Times Read: 1,047


When I was in high school I joined a lot of online communities. MySpace, of course, as it was big back in the day, and a number of other ones. I met some people, made a few friends. There was one, I can't for the life of me remember the name or the concept, but I suppose it doesn't matter. However, that's where I met someone who, for a number of months meant the world to me.

His name was Joe. We talked constantly, on the phone until the wee hours of the morning, and on AIM. He lived in Oceanside, and was just someone I really needed at the time. A crush, a friend, a confidant. He knew my secrets, my wants and desires, everything. He was the closest friend I had at the time. I had always wanted to meet him in person, but, I was still only 17 and in high school, and he was God, I think 19 or 20, and living on his own down in Oceanside. It wasn't meant to be. But, we were still so close. I guess, as it happens with people you meet online, we drifted apart. I stopped using AIM and all the silly websites I had joined over the years. It's been 12 years.

I was cleaning out an old email account, the one I used to talk with Joe. I stumbled upon all those old messages. He used to send me songs, Atreyu. I had bought their CDs because listening to the songs had always reminded me of him... It's been years since I've heard their music. So, I listened to the songs, read the words, smiled at the memories. I sent him a message, a complete shot in the dark because I was almost certain I'd never get a response from him... But... I did. I am honestly still shocked about it. But, he remembered me. He remembered the way we used to be. He said he was going to see if he could hunt down the old emails we used to send so he could read them himself. I'm giddy. It's like I'm 17 all over again. I don't expect anything from this, just reaching out to an old friend. He must have a family by now, or at least a significant other. It doesn't matter. I don't want that. I just want things to be like they used to be with us. He was someone I could talk to, no worries of being judged, no holding back. Because, right now, I desperately need that. I want that friendship back, that closeness, the companionship.

But, for now, I'll take the responses and be happy with that. It's more than I expected, probably a hell of a lot more than I deserve. It makes me smile, it makes me remember easier, better times. And, for now, that's enough.


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Damon27
Damon27
12:05 Jun 09 2017

{:





 

16:01 Jun 06 2017
Times Read: 1,071


Clearly trying to talk to people and actually be social for once is something I shouldn't bother with. I love getting ignored on all fronts by everyone I attempt to start up a conversation with. It's the best feeling in the world...

This is why I don't talk to people unless I'm forced to. Why put in any effort when no one else does?


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vVvLouisvVv
vVvLouisvVv
17:27 Jun 06 2017

I feel your pain.





 

19:33 Jun 04 2017
Times Read: 1,103


So... I've never had to change the cell phone stuff here, and I'm afraid I have no idea how to do it. I can't remove my number since I don't get the text with the confirmation number. And, I don't see an option to change carriers otherwise. Anyone know how to change this?


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BrandedWithinDarkness
BrandedWithinDarkness
19:48 Jun 04 2017

Contact cancer he can remove the number he had to that with some of my accounts





imagesinwords
imagesinwords
01:36 Jun 05 2017

Yep, Cancer has to be contacted to change that.





 

08:10 Jun 04 2017
Times Read: 1,116


I switched cell phone providers tonight, from Verizon to Sprint, because out here there is very little discrepancy in service between the two. And, it's cheaper with Sprint. Way cheaper. So much so, in fact, that I got me a brand new Samsung Galaxy S8+ for like, practically nothing. Plus, I'm back with an unlimited data plan, something I haven't been able to have with Verizon for years. That alone makes it worth it for me. Of course, I have to pay the phone off in installments on my bill, 18 to 24 months, if I want to leave it'll be like, $250 on top of that, so you are paying full retail price, just not up front. I really hate that. The idea that I'm renting a cell phone... I hated that with Verizon, and I'm not too fond of it with Sprint. At least with Verizon I payed for the phone, granted, at a discounted price because it's an upgrade, but even so. It was still around $300 for my Galaxy S7 I got back in December, only there were no monthly payments, no "leasing" it. And, I liked that. But, I guess the whole installment plan deal is what everyone is doing these days, because I took a look at AT&T, and it's the same, only they are actually more expensive than Verizon. So... I don't know. It's a weird concept to me. It's a phone, not a car, you know? Bah. I guess it doesn't matter. I'm absolutely in love with this S8+. It's huge compared to what I'm used to, that S7, S5, S3, all phones I had before, are tiny compared to this beast. It's pretty comparable to the Note series, only longer, not as wide. So, it's going to take a little getting used to. But, I love it. And I'm happy with the switch. Where I live currently the service is actually better than it was with Verizon, so that's a major plus.


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Cancer
Cancer
08:51 Jun 04 2017

If you're using VR text notifications, you might have to re-set it up... change the carrier.

I have a Samsung Galaxy A7 which isn't sold in America and it is amazing. Power wise it's comparable to an S7, but with a 5.7" screen. Full price no contract (and totally unlocked... I bought it at a Samsung store) was $370.





 

04:19 Jun 03 2017
Times Read: 1,132


Joe, a friend from Xbox I met years ago, and I were talking about anime the other night and he told me to check out Blame! on Netflix. I finally got around to it tonight, and I was not disappointed. Going in knowing nothing of the story, I was hooked. So now I need to go about finding the manga and giving that a read. I don't know why I'm always so attracted to the sci-fi stories in manga and anime, especially those which are rather depressing, like Blame! and Ergo Proxy, but they aways manage to reel me in. I guess it's just good story-telling, for the most part.

I heard this song in the credits and I just had to find it on YouTube.


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