The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I can feel you’re heart pounding next to mine; I can hear you whisper my name in the darkness that consumes us. I can feel you’re breath on my skin you’re nails as they rake down my back drawing the blood that once pored for you’re happiness. I can hear you moan begging for what I will soon give. You wither in pain and in pleaser as I bite you’re shoulder and smother my own scream, my scream of pain, my scream of heart ache, my scream of lonesomeness

I hate my fucking life... I mean why the fuck are we here (I'm in a fucking mood woot woot not like that pervs :P) I hate myselfe I hate part of my family I hate myself and I have christmas. I do I hate so much you ask (not like anyone cares but oh well) I'm fucking alone... I know a lot of people think "oh you're not alone" or "I"m alone to" NO!!! I'm realy alone hehehe. The only thing my family knows about me is my name WWEEEE! I only have bout 5 friends and they live in fucking other states and I never see them. They don't even know half the shit about me. No one does it fucking sucks.. but it's also my fault I only tell people what they want to hear cuz they don't care or.. they would hate me or some shit like that so I say fuck .. fuck it all.... no I'm not so fucked up that I'll kill my self.. I think I'll go poke something or some shit like that :P

This is my life well a very short version of it lol this is the some of the shit that happened that made me as messed up as I am.



Just Imagine



Just imagine being a lil girl new in the world you’re mom working all the time you never met you’re dad so who takes care of you? In my case my grandma did. You’re probly thinking oh she got to stay with her sweet lil granny. HA yeah right she liked to make my life hell she would yell at me and if when I would go to my room and read she would hit me. One time I was sick and was lying in bed and she comes in there and hits me with the metal part of the metal my arm was bruised and red. I was 8 I think. My mom worked a LOT and didn’t have time to date so whose fault was it that she didn’t have a life….. It was mine. It wasn’t all bad I have some good memories of her. And school was hell from day one the teachers hated me the kids picking on me imagine being 8 years old and someone calling you’re mother (who you love more then anything) a whore. I never had friends, I had some that liked to use me and walk all over me. When I was 12 I got put in a mental hospital because I was popping pills and trying to kill my self ^_^ I got my first kiss in there though lol. After I got out I had my firs b/f to make a really long story short he told me he loved me he tried to rape me he hit me he made my life more of a hell end of story lol. Sense then I have had 2 guys that I have loved one of them wants to kill me lol and if he ever saw me he would try to the other guy is my best friend he’s also on my friends list lol. Let’s see were am I? Ok school was hell people picking on me teachers hating me my best friends hurting me then all of a sudden my grandmother had a stroke. After everything she did I still loved her, she was my nanny. I had to watch for 4 months her slowly die it was hell. Everyday I had to watch her fade away slowly. I missed her I wanted her to yell at me to hit me anything but die I would cry every night wishing I had a friend, wishing I had someone who understood my sister wouldn’t come down to see nanny because she hated her more then anyone. No one liked my grandmother I was the closest person to her. When she died I lost my only friend my grandmother and the closest thing to a mother at the time. Even now I miss her so much. After she died I had a cousin to die the next month then the next month another cousin to kill herself then after that my uncles sister died then after that my dog that I had from the age of 3 died then my Aunt Margie died all in one year. Others died that year but I can’t remember them. I wouldn’t speak to anyone I wouldn’t eat I scared one of my friends because I never smiled it hurt too much. I started cutting and burning. And then I heard the voices. I still hear them I can also feel sprits think what you want but it’s true I can be doing something and then I feel someone touch me. Some times I get so depressed but no one knows it I always hide everything from everyone. If I go to Illinois I will be killed. If I go to Colorado I will be raped. Lol. There’s more but I don’t feel like typing it all this is bout half of the bad stuff. ^_^