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lordvampirio's Journal


lordvampirio's Journal

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6 entries this month
 

18:41 Apr 17 2007
Times Read: 664


From time to time I hear women complain that there are no real gentlemen anymore. Oh well!

I was at the newsagent’s today and when I wanted to leave I saw two women who wanted to enter. So I opened the door for them. They walked past. No look, no thank you. So I said “You are very welcome.” In return I got nasty words hurled at me.

So next time a woman complains that there are no more real gentlemen be very aware that women like them killed them!

And if you are a lady or want to be treated like one at least don’t behave like complete scum, even if you are!


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18:47 Apr 10 2007
Times Read: 688


Wow, I just realized how many times my last entries have been read. So many readers and so very few appear on my list. Looks like the bravery of the people widely known as Journal Nazis still goes no further than offline reading. But yeah, as long as they read and probably even write about me I’m important to them :)

I at least spend my time on more important things on here, working hard for my coven that is. I don’t have the title “Assistant Coven Master” below my name because it looks good. I’m actually trying to live up to the expectation. And while I could read an entry I can earn 5 favours in the same time instead :) And I believe that’s much more productive for my coven.

Yeah well, smart people set their priorities right :D


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18:29 Apr 10 2007
Times Read: 689


This is actually quite fascinating:



If you rate a premmie a –10- many won’t bother to rate you back.

If you rate a premmie lower than –10- you’ll have them on your profile within the next 120 seconds. And very often they would give you the same rating because anything else would be too creative or original. Probably too mentally challenging as well.

But it is quite amusing when someone who has half as many pics in his portfolio than yourself rates you lower and all his pics show body stain that cannot even be classed as tattoos.

Vanity and arrogance, two features that are omnipresent like nowhere else ;)



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13:24 Apr 06 2007
Times Read: 722


I fell victim to the infamous April Prophecy ..... my account on myspace had been hacked. Or was I only a random pick? lol

First “I” was sending bulletins advertising surveys for money, free condoms and whatnot lol

Nobody was stupid enough to believe it was really I though.

Then “I” chatted up people from my friend list, including my locals and telling them that “I” live here and there and everywhere lol

Well I don’t need to chat them up because I already know them. That’s why they are on my friend list ;) And it is hard to believe for my locals that “I” live in Kuala Lumpur for example when I was actually out clubbing with them in the UK at the time the message was sent LMAO

We had a well prepared hacker there lol But again nobody was stupid enough to believe they were actually talking to moi on myspace.

But I got the shite sorted so my account on myspace should be hacker-free again :)


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13:10 Apr 06 2007
Times Read: 723


Impressive words on the profile of a 16-year-old girl, probably written as a 15 year old:



Please do not bring me into your Drama!

I am not one to take sides, no matter who you are unless I know all the facts. If there is a quarral between two friends of mine, even acquintances of mine, I will not choose either side and I will remain mutual friends to both. I don't like to put up with childish nonsense and "so 'm' so said this...... and so 'n' so said that" I don't have time for it. I don't like it. So please keep your wars on your battle feilds, do not bring them into my abundant garden.




This is a nice change to the usual attitude, especially of people significantly older than her:



Please bring me into any drama. I am one to take your side as long as you have cyber sex or phone sex with me regardless of the facts. If there is a quarrel I will choose your side, provided the above applies, and will gladly bitch about people I don’t even know just to serve you as a puppet. I like to put up with childish nonsense because I have the time to do so and have nothing better to do. So please bring me onto your battlefield where I will gladly die for you as Dumbinar or something.



Do you believe me now when I say many people do not even come close to the intelligence and maturity of a 15-year-old teenager?


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MirrorMan

11:25 Apr 01 2007
Times Read: 761


Once upon a time there was a charver who became known as MirrorMan. He was so ugly, uglier than everything you have ever seen. You couldn’t even say for sure if this charver was a she or a he. The best to describe this charver would be using the word “it”. That is nothing unusual in the south of a country called Ingland where next to no mother could be certain of the father of their children. It is not unusual that mother and father even share the same blood there.



As a baby MirrorMan had been fed with lager where “normal” babies get milk. This made it an alcoholic virtually from the start of its life and put an end to the brain’s development as well. The first teeth grew yellow and after they fell out no set of new teeth grew. With these circumstances proper speaking could not be accomplished.



MirrorMan was not allowed to attend a public kindergarten because of its alcoholism. Its breath would smell like a distillery.



Unable to socialize with others MirrorMan would talk to itself through a magic mirror. The mirror became its only friend and MirrorMan would never let go of it. MirrorMan liked its reflection in the mirror, mainly because he never saw anyone else but itself and its mother. Several times a day it would ask the mirror: “Mirror Mirror in my hand who ish de handshomnesht in dish land?” “You are the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen.” replied the mirror, “I could tell you who really is the most handsome but since it’s lies you’re after, it’s you.” * big laughter *

Since MirrorMan believed what the mirror said it grew in self-confidence and vanity.



MirrorMan had to be home-schooled by its mother. At the age of 8, barely 2 feet tall by then, MirrorMan tried to learn reading. Three years later it proudly announced that it could read now as it had learnt all three letters from the ABC. It never figured that there are actually 23 more letters!



To celebrate its excitement it asked the mirror which by now seemed to have grown in to its hand and became a body part: “Mirror Mirror in my hand who ish de handshomnesht in dish land?” The mirror replied: ”You are the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen. I could tell you who really is the most handsome but since it’s lies you’re after, it’s you.” * big laughter * MirrorMan smiled and showed its toothless mouth :)



The years passed and puberty arrived at the age of 30. MirrorMan was a grown midget of 3 feet now. Its voice remained sounding like a 3 year old, the balls never dropped, the weener never grew nor did facial hair. What did grow though were pink spots all over his body, as big as ping-pong balls. He was still a bed wetter though.



To reassure itself about its looks it asked the mirror: “Mirror Mirror in my hand who ish de handshomnesht in dish land?” “You are an even uglier fuck now” replied the mirror, “I could tell you who really is the most handsome but since it’s lies you’re after, it’s you.” * big laughter *



MirrorMan explored puberty by believing the spots are G-spots and stroking them would lead to orgasm. It was so proud that it figured that all by itself!!!!!



Where many other people its age had a solid education and a decent job MirrorMan did what every charver does. Collecting its benefit cheque every Tuesday afternoon at the job centre. It even got disability benefit because its mental disability was frighteningly low, even for a charver.



Pubbing or clubbing has never been an option because never in its life would it get passed a bouncer. And people on the street screamed and ran away when they saw it.



“Why?” it would wonder. So it asked the mirror: “Mirror Mirror in my hand who ish de handshomnesht in dish land?” And the mirror replied: “You are the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen. I could tell you who really is the most handsome but since it’s lies you’re after, it’s you.” * big laughter *



Sick and tired of touching its spots to reach the highest level of excitement MirrorMan thought there must be a way to get others do it for you.



MirrorMan brought terror back to the streets of a city called Lunden that in comparison let Jake the Ripper come across like a sweetheart.



Late at night, when unsuspecting clubbers and pub goers were on their way home MirrorMan cowardly attacked them from behind and beat them unconscious with a crowbar. Then he took their hands and touched its spot with them. After every victim it asked its mirror: “Mirror Mirror in my hand who ish de handshomnesht in dish land?” And the mirror would always reply: “You are the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen. I could tell you who really is the most handsome but since it’s lies you’re after, it’s you.” * big laughter *



After months of terror MirrorMan finally got caught andreceived two lifetime sentences. The judge said that a low life like this has to be taken off the streets and shall not hope to be pardoned and roam the streets of Lunden or Ingland before 35 years at least.



The only thing MirrorMan was allowed to keep was its mirror. In prison it was bragging how handsome it was by showing all the inmates what the mirror’s got to say: “Mirror Mirror in my hand who ish de handshomnesht in dish land?” And the mirror replied: “You are the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen. I could tell you who really is the most handsome but since it’s lies you’re after, it’s you.” * big laughter *



And yet MirrorMan remained the only inmate who never got butt-fucked! It had to keep touching its spots all by himself still believing this is the way it’s been done. MirrorMan led a solitary life in prison just like it always did. It did however learn a few more letters from the alphabet.



35 years later it was released. MirrorMan was 65 years by now. The reactions it got remained unchanged. People were screaming and running away in disgust by what they saw. MirrorMan did not understand it especially since the mirror kept reassuring him: “Mirror Mirror in my hand who ish de handshomnesht in dish land?” “You are the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen. I could tell you who really is the most handsome but since it’s lies you’re after, it’s you.” * big laughter *



Unable to find anyone who would socialize with MirrorMan it soon learnt that there is one place where people accept you for what you make them believe you are, the World Wide Web!



MirrorMan quickly found an online community where it set up a profile and an image gallery that shows the art of a 6 year old. Its chat-up line for males as well as females was “im da MirrorMan. i no im 2 hot 4 u bt ill stil do ya.” Surprisingly everyone told it to f off. Unpleased with the rejection MirrorMan got online it started to threaten everyone: “im sum1 in real lyf n cum afta u u bitch.”



After days of online loneliness MirrorMan came across a profile of someone who was everything it wasn’t: Tall, handsome, smart, educated, working and popular. He was known by the name Lord Vampyrium. Lord Vampyrium was a fighter for justice and showed no mercy towards liars, manipulators, schemers and fakes. MirrorMan got jealous of what it saw and developed an immediate dislike towards Lord Vampyrium. It never talked to him though. MirrorMan needed reassurance that he was better than Lord Vampyrium so it asked: “Mirror Mirror in my hand who ish de handshomnesht in dish land?” the mirror replied: “You are the ugliest fuck I’ve ever seen. You just met the most handsome in this land but since it’s lies you’re after, it’s you.” * big laughter *



MirrorMan remembered that there was a rumour going on about Lord Vampyrium a year ago. A rumour that proved to be wrong and created only one winner and many losers. But since it took it a year to understand MirrorMan thought it still had to give its unqualified opinion as well. First it threw an unprovoked tantrum that puts every 5-year-old girl to shame and when Lord Vampyrium did not respond it would bring up this incident that happened a year ago. MirrorMan was losing it there already. Where others grew tired long ago and eventually moved on MirrorMan thought it would be smart and gain it some popularity. Neither worked though and MirrorMan ran away peeing itself of fear after talking loads of shite. Like every other charver it is just a big mouth with nothing to back it up. Nothing but cowardice. People like that used to be shot ;)



Lord Vampyrium was never bothered about it back then and still isn’t to this day. He is still tall, handsome, smart, educated, working and popular.

MirrorMan keeps leading a solitary life in which nobody likes it or talks to it. But it keeps acting like charver: Cowardly and like a pussy. To this day no one can tell what it really is, male or female and remains to be referred to as “it”.



Even the mirror grew tired of it moved out of its hand and ran away. Since this day MirrorMan became widely known as MoronMan!





I’m quite happy with the way this story turned out. It didn’t take me many re-reads and corrections even though I am barely ever happy with my writings.

I was inspired by an incident that occurred recently when a retard amongst retards still managed to stand out and behaved like a complete pussy.

And if you have to dig up the past because you can’t find anything in the present then you already shot blanks :p I smoke those kind of people in a pipe!

Again, like always, I didn’t start anything but losers who envy you for being decent and successful aren’t happy unless they can pick on you. Since they have no real life they haveto stir shit online!

Yeah go on, talk shit and make me famous :) Every battle showed my superiority and made me more popular :)

If you ever come across someone who matches the description of MirrorMan, in real life or online, do yourself a favour and stay clear of it. Everyone else already does ;)







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