sumkindamonsta's Vampire Journal

sumkindamonsta's Journal

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1 entry this month

For my Serenity!!
18:09 Jun 17 2008
Times Read: 902

Each word you say pulls me closer to you than you could ever imagine! I love you with out words, without knowing your touch and your smell. you have stolen my soul from me! No simple word can bring my thoughts to your ears, something more, hidden in my words that the world can see but only you can read will bring you to me. I will wait for you for eternity clinging to the memory I have made of you closing my heart to the world as it is yours and no one elses!

As a fire burns through me I reach out to you with all I have in hollow hands counting the moments on a faceless clock. Falling in this empty room I have created in myself I beg you to take me to a better place and grant me serenity in your eyes.

Everything around me changes, grows, dies and fades into the night as I crawl inside myself with only the echo of the words I leave here for you. I scream into the wind that mutes my voice and passes through my body tearing away at me stripping me from the eyes of the world as I crawl to you blindly ignoring the whispers around me for in this place there is only you.

Grounded by the dream of you I come to you where ever you are serenity for when you take me into your arms i will live again freed from my curse.

Every corner I turn I see you, my heart stops, quickens then jumps out to you for you are just out of my reach. One step closer than to far away yet all I can see. Leaving me with empty eyes as I run to the one love I have.

From my sleep I awaken and turn to you yet I fail to take you from my dreams and into my life.

A sadness that has followed me in this life extinguishes my hope yet as you stare into my green eyes from the distance we keep you breath passion into my soul making me question the strongest of my beliefs. You give me strength to tell you in ways only you know that I love you and I will fight, kill and die for you to have this pain taken from me.

It’s a dark path that I have chosen to walk alone, until you walk beside me sharing a smile and an unspoken word from your lips I will stand here and let a single tear fall in the most lonely of ways.

Through all I am and all I will become I push to be the man u deserve and that you desire. I will give the world away for you without a thought and Ill know I have found my destiny.

Here and now I fall away from reality, yet again I’m drowning in this pain as the rain pours down on me, falling through me as if I’m not even here. Endlessly dieing a little more without you to breath for me I scream for my serenity. Why must I loose control of myself to you when I cannot find you even though I see u when my eyes close. I cannot sleep for when I wake you are not there by my side to hold my head so I sit here and play our songs, write for you and imagine my fears being swept from me with the power you have over me. And yet I can not find the answers to the things I knew before you blinded my thoughts and filled my head with your voice.

The green of my eyes if falling into a sad grey as my heart blackens in pain and all I can do is sit with my head in my hands surrounded by my emptiness alone waiting for you to find me.

I welcome you to me but you stand apart from my touch yet I feel your skin on mine as I can smell your hair as you push into me from a distance.

What have I become for you? Tired and confused I hate my pain that we have created.

The echo of old days rings in my head telling me I’m alive for you unable to speak to the world in words as I am swallowed by my sorrow and asking you to hold my hands and look into my eyes and tell me I’m wrong to stand at your feet with a hundred black roses. Tripping over my tongue and falling onto a floor or razors I do not bleed or feel a thing through my numbness.

The brightest sun shines not on me for in the dark of the shadows I wait patiently for my search to end in you by my side. Until this day I will be lost in my words on my knees praying for my salvation to rise from my hurt.

I see it clear in my minds eye that our fate is a shared reflection of a mutual pain misunderstood by the ones around us, we are alone in our own feelings.

I will never ask of you that which I cannot give to you and I ask for your eyes to pass over my pages knowing that this is for you the only way I can show you my self. Hiding from prying eyes with a fake smile I am but a shell of myself that only you can see through. Fake to the world I am truly a secret for you to find the key to.

Through this message I send to you I hear your cries and feel your agony I have made for you but if you lay beside me my lips will purge you of your worries. Day in and day out I will covert you above all else in this world. A queen by my side you shall be untouchable to the thoughts of ill minds sharing with me in my serenity you have gifted me.

Speechless and blinded by our soul’s connection I abandon logic in the craziest of ways as I leave myself behind to be reborn and completed within your arms.

Twisted in a spiral my mind drifts from thought to thought guided by something unseen, void of clarity I sink into nothing as I fade away.

Frozen in life not dead nor dieing my soul decays away from me leaving the days to melt into weeks.

As if drugged my thoughts glide over the bitterness of futility yet the hope I hold onto keeps me grounded and unable to give up on being fulfilled in your arms. As if drinking from an empty cup my thirst never dies growing with every drop that touches my lips.

With a wanted word from your finger tips your touch speaks to my heart in ways words will never reach. In the darkest days you are my light that guides me from the rocks.