theffingcandyman's Journal
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Preserving what once was00:37 Oct 25 2011
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Thought it would be nice to keep what I had written about myself quite some time ago. Need to get rid of it as it is now redundant, but that doesn't change how things were or what had happened.
General
Welcome to my profile. My name is Sophie.
I'm not too tall or too short. I'm not too fat, nor too thin.
I'm not too quiet or too loud. I simply am.
Recently I've lost a lot of faith in humanity, as I've realised the true identity of a lot of people. People as a whole, are self absorbed, two-faced and downright rude. Many people have realised this already and don't put faith in others, but unfortunately for me this is a rather recent realisation and has led to many bouts of unfathomable depression as one person after another has let me down over this last year. This is one of the reasons why I haven't been on VR as much, the other reasons being that Facebook controls my life and another reason being that I'd just plain forgotten about it.
I'm back now.
This Is Me
I suffer from extreme paranoia from time to time, possibly brought on from my previous lifestyle. Its effects are often crippling and I'm unable to do ordinary day to day activites on particularly bad days. Fortunately these are few and far between nowadays, and I'm slowly managing to lift myself out of it.
I also have an obsession with cleanliness. I don't go around with a feather duster all day, nor do I take 3 baths every half hour. My obsession is with hands. You will not be allowed to touch me if I have reason to believe your hands are dirty. And I won't touch anything if I think my hands are dirty. I hate towels that are over a day old, as well as wash cloths and scourers. Although this is probably a part of my paranoia, I don't see how wanting to be clean could be a bad thing.
Enough about what's wrong with me... Now to have a look at my redeeming qualities.
I used to think Art was my calling, but after 3 months of persuing a National Diploma in Art and Design, I realised that actually, I really don't like it as much as I thought I did. I wanted to be a tattooist, but I don't need a qualification in Art to be one. So I went and bought a tattoo kit, dropped out of college and started practising. I wasn't too bad, but I gave up after a while. So I thought, maybe I'd like to be a fashion designer... No. Chef? No. Beautician? No. Hairdresser? No.
After a long time of self reflection and soul searching, I noticed what was so obvious the whole time. My four hamsters. In september I am starting college for a National Diploma in Animal Management, which I hope leads to being able to move out to Africa or India, to help the animals of families who can't afford to pay vetinary bills.
I've always wanted to help others, because I know what it's like to feel alone and helpless. No-one should ever have to feel like that. So through my love of any and every animal, and my desire to change a person's life for the better, I hope that one day I will be able to make my dream, and other people's dreams, come true.
People
Two people have shaped me to be the person I am now. The first that comes to mind is Frankie. We met back in 2004 through poor organisation on behalf of the school we went to. Our first conversation wasn't exactly a pleasant one but, as it turned out, we both liked and wanted the same things in life. We easily became friends, and 6 years on I wouldn't change that for the world. She keeps me sane and accepts me when I'm at my worst, and when I'm even worse than that, she tells me to snap out of it. And it works. And in the end, isn't that all you need? I love this girl to pieces and I can't imagine where I'd be now without her.
The second that comes to mind is Jelle. I've known him since 2003, and though we haven't had the misfortune of meeting each other, there has always been a place in my life for him. He introduced me to much of the music I listen to today and has given me a passion for alternative culture. If I ever need to talk or rant at someone, he'll be there. He won't be interested or care much about what I have to say, but that doesn't bother me. He always manages to find the funny side of any situation and cheer me up. He's a great friend who almost feels like family to me, and at the risk of sounding sentimental, I can only hope he finds me as good a friend as I find him.
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