The sharp stinging of an alarm blares through a tired mind.
Body lifted from slumber, before getting up to turn off the alarm.
Feeling like you had not slept at all.
Moving around to get dressed.
Making sure that you have your wallet, your keys, your badge, your smokes.
Grab the ipod and and begin listening to music so loudly that you can no longer hear your own thoughts.
A pain that never goes away grips tighter as you look around your empty 'home'.
A shake of the head before grabbing your hat and walking out the door.
The cold air biting at your body as you lock your door.
Light up a smoke, and look around at the darkness of the morning before you walk down the stairs and carry on.
Placing one foot before the other, you take the two mile trek to work
The music failing to stop your thoughts, the sadness and pain begins to hit you once more.
You try to focus on the music and wish that it was louder.
Stop to get coffee, before continuing on.
Get to work and put out your last smoke before going in.
Get into the shop and get your gear on. Gloves, leather apron.
The cold in the shop bites at you more than the cold outside.
Go and check the dates and look at the meat from the day before to make sure it hasn't turned.
Pull and throw away what has. Mentally make a task list of all that you need to do.
Go into the cooler, and load up your meat.
Then spend the day cutting the meats. Beef, pork, chicken, ground meat, do special orders.
As the meat gets cut, the blood grows, it drips down your apron, onto your work boots. It gets in your gloves, on your face.
You clean yourself many times a day.
Finish your day and begin the trek home.
When reaching your apartment you do not even wish to go in, so you find things to do around the complex.
Finally you bring yourself enough courage to face the emptiness. You step into your apartment.
Get undressed, go shower. Get your stuff ready for the next day.
Sit with more music blaring. Trying to find anything to keep your mind busy.
Sometimes, you sleep, but mostly you just lay in darkness and try to still your thoughts.
You get up to do it all over again.