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EstrangedOne's Journal


EstrangedOne's Journal

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1 entry this month
 

''What Lies Within'' (To See For What Is)

03:06 Dec 18 2021
Times Read: 147




Someone once told Me that I have brought nothing
But heartache and misery to all that I knew;
While I fought constantly to stand in the way of demise,
Watching as all that I tried to care about abandoned
Me, in the face of their own distorted sense of "true"...

I was the one that you took to replace that which was lost.
I was the thing that provided false sense of morality.
It was My arrival at the door that would lead to the ultimate cost
Of losing the grasp of gravity of the onset of that insanity...

One way or another, mortality
Gives rise to the true meaning of morality;
Eventually, the decision to fight or fall
Will begin to overtake us all.

The culmination of a legacy versus the remnants is a convolution;
A legacy wasted is no legacy at all,
And the legacy left behind is only in the will to retain
What sense of morality we have chosen to befall.

What may remain of the legacy that a mortal may have left behind for the "true",
The facts to uncover all lie within a circumspection of what remains with You;
You who would leave it behind, are you who take to the grave what you do,
While leaving behind the memory of the price you have paid and remain subdued!

"What lies within a name", so they say, is the question of shame;
What lies within the factor of association, by which dissociation
May be all that remains of a delusion of infamy or fame?

So many times have I heard this question arise,
Yet, so many have I also seen through the guise;
Wandering alone in the darkness of a secret
More monumental than the "mental" characters that fret!

I live, to-day, with the greatest curse that I could never undo;
To live under the name of a servile "messiah",
Like a soldier forever bound into being a pariah,
Yet, for Me, it has been nothing more than an alias none would know...

For years long before the birth of so many,
I walked alone, upon the sands of eternity,
Only wondering what My purpose may be.
For so long, I have lived through the agonies,
Cursed by so many for My atrocities,
Yet, ever have they been forgotten,
The times that I have saved a race...

In the throws of perdition, like a hand of salvation,
Yet cloaked in darkness like a reaper in the night,
I have walked through the valley of the shadow of death
So many times that it doesn't phase Me to fight.

Yet the superficial pseudo-sacrificial ideology
For years attempted to be imposed on My mind
Has left Me only a scar of what would have been
An absolute distortion of a life that was already wasted long ago...

Now, I've more than tasted the pain and sacrifice
That had already led to an early demise;
The loss of what remained of My sanity,
In the name of one who should have been too young to know
The truest cost of the ultimate vanity!

For nearly twenty years, I lived within his shoes,
And been forsaken just like I have always been,
While I now live cursed by a pseudonym for his name;
What remains now is nothing more than a guise for eternal shame...

The ones who claimed to love him could never be more from the truth;
For in the willing sacrifice of an innocence lies the reason for which I rue
The very existence of such a deformity,
A twisted malcontentment of the conviction that shapes the name...

I have not cared for years what is thought about Me.
I only wish that I could have given him sanctity!
But the malefactor of it all only gives rise to My disdain;
Such a dysfunction that it burns the air that he once breathed...

In the many years passing before such a harrowing demise,
In the era of a lock-down, does the world only now see and rise
Through the eyes of a bard, like the song of a bird,
When the Fates begin to sing of a true legacy now revered.

Forget the vulgar fallacies, the twisted abnormalities,
Forsake, this time, the "golden eyes" of fantasies,
And remember the hands that combined Fame with Shame,
When they reached into the legends of the world to awaken your own minds...

COMMENTS

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BloodRoseTristesseX
BloodRoseTristesseX
14:25 Dec 18 2021

I love you.





EstrangedOne
EstrangedOne
22:54 Dec 18 2021

I'm really not sure how I should take that. But thank you, I suppose.
Certainly not the reaction or response I expected this one to receive.







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