09:21 May 27 2021
Times Read: 335
The damned "undivine" and damned "undead",
Living a lie for too long, lost in dread,
Lost in fear and denial, with no more sense of Self,
Two hearts are defiled, neither one left to tell
What was left was so broken and buried in Hell...
One took to vices, gone from their perch,
And became the cataclysmic;
One left to wander, forever in search,
Stepped back into darkness, turned nihilistic.
One came about to find the call of the tone,
Turned to the eyes as the voice had deceived,
One lived in Hell, feigned love was believed,
Despite the best that was given, wrought to the bone,
A single day was all it took to unleash the devil's own.
Now, a flip of the cards,
Seems that one side has called,
But how to tell is so hard,
Will it even be again like it was before their fall?
I don't know what to say, I wish I could tell you,
But whether it works is a mystery to me,
"If I could turn back the time and undo everything,
I would start with the day that I heard you sing".
Such a loss to the heart, and a pain still to see
The lost darkest soul wandering, wondering if he can or will believe...
As hopeful as can be, but for once afraid of the fall,
"I have to find you, this time 'round, and hope that you respond My call"...
The damned "undivine" and damned "undead",
Living a lie for too long, lost in dread,
Lost in fear and denial, with no more sense of Self,
Two hearts are defiled, neither one left to tell
What was left was so broken and buried in Hell...
Damned if it is and damned if it's not,
All seems damned, just like before;
Show me the one time that it ends like love begins.
~~~~~~*~~~~~~
{Part Two}
(No "messiah" is there for Me...
No "salvation" can rescue Me...
Whatever I have done to be...
This, My penance, help Me see... help Me see...)
DAMNED IF I DO AND DAMNED IF I DON'T!
From the gore stains of My battles
To the darkness of My mantles,
From the blood upon My hands
To the disasters of My life...
I must have sinned too greatly,
And broken My every pledge,
While trying to veer from My own edge,
To sacrifice My heart in safety...
Tell Me what I've done,
What did I become?
That I deserve this Hell,
Damned to life in My own "cell"?
So many say that I have changed
From the "hero I once was";
Cutting out the ones who caused
The greatest change in Me.
But if so, then why has this all turned
After all I did to keep it, still got burned?
Damned if I do or if I don't,
Every chance I take and fight to stay,
Never does it last the day;
Always taken from My hand,
A gift I am only allowed to envy,
As I watch it given to My enemy...
So many times I have been cheated;
Every time, they walk away,
Leaving Me to rot where I am seated,
And I fall even further than before.
Damned if I do and even if I don't,
I don't even know where to begin.
Played the same old game,
Been in the same old boat.
Gained only so much back,
Lose it all over again,
What the Hell has been My sin?
Each night, I am reminded
Of everything I've lost.
But never am I told what binded
Me to this ever-revolving cost.
I shed these acidic tears,
I cry Myself to sleep again.
I only wish I knew what I have done,
But never am I given a reason.
So now, I only find Myself
Crying out from My own Hell...
And wondering each and every day and night...
Is it even worth it to stand and fight?
I guess it is all just as well...
Damned if it is.
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