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Stabb and I did some gardening today after a relaxing day. We are recapturing the living from the grip of winter at last. It was wonderful to get my hands dirty and to do battle with a mean, thorny old kumquat tree. Stabb was a beast with a rake and a shovel.
The breeze was cool and the day was gorgeous. Branches and dead matter were sawed, clipped, pulled and placed in a pile. Ant hills were identified for treatment. Lawn furniture was cleaned. We looked out over our re-greening garden and made plans for planting and even for a new vegetable patch. Next week we'll be doing some planting.
The garden has long been my therapy...the place that centers me when I'm troubled. In some ways, I owe my sanity to that patch of green. But things are never meant to stay still. Today my garden really became "our" garden. And you know what? It's good. It really is.
Ant hills identified for treatment? You mean, you're going to build them a deck? Maybe install some skylights? Make sure they're cozy and can welcome in spring's new generation of little ant babies?
Ant hills identified for treatment? You mean, you're going to build them a deck? Maybe install some skylights? Make sure they're cozy and can welcome in spring's new generation of little ant babies?
It's interesting that writing I seem to like most so often engenders the least commentary. It leaves me wondering interesting thoughts about how I read journal comments currently and the hows and whys of them in the first place. I imagine I'm not alone in looking for them as feedback, probably not the only writer who worries that some creation sucks when that "No comments" screen pops up.
But Comment is a relatively new feature here. We all wrote without them originally. We read each others' journals and sent the occasional message. I certainly don't comment on everything I read, even when I like it...and definitely not when I don't.
So, how SHOULD I think about them? They're not report cards. They're gifts and should be seen as such. That's why they're special (and occasionally the gift you'd like to return.) Would a lack of comments suggest that I should change my writing style? (Yeah, I genuinely ask myself questions like that.) The obvious answer is, "Of course not." We should create first and foremost because we HAVE TO...that little gnawing need within to create something, to express a point of view, to place out into the world a piece of yourself, however humble.
The less obvious answer is, "Maybe." And just maybe that maybe is important, too. The day I stop questioning whether something I've created sucks is likely the day I'll stop caring. It's important to keep looking at what I do, to question it and think about it. That's how we keep growing and changing. I don't want to necessarily have a "style." I want to try new ways of creating, even if they fail...maybe especially if they fail.
Ever look back at something you've done long ago that you thought was good at the time? Does it ever make you cringe today? I spent a little time looking over some of my older stuff here. I was surprised to NOT feel that way. Some of it is so different from what I write about now and how I write now. My reaction was more like that of reading someone else's work. I could see that woman telling her story in pictures of what she thought about. Of course there's a bit of ownership and insight since it was me, but less than I would have thought.
For better or for worse, the words live their own lives now and it's nice to visit them and nicer still to walk away from some of them. Most do not have comments below them. Some do. It's nice to revisit how some reacted to them, but mostly it's just nice to see that they were read. I love that I can post something here and that people will come and read. That's a privilege and I know it. What more could anyone ask? Love it or hate it...thank you for reading.
Usually the work that I love the most gets the smallest reaction from the general population.
I've found that the images I post here get looked at less and less. I'm not talking about comments so much as general views and visits.
It's frustrating to me mostly because I see that my images are less and less interesting or worth the time of people around me. So I wonder, who am I making these for? Yes in part they are for me, but I also want to share something that I see with others. It's a rude awakening when you find that what you see really isn't unique.
These silent critiques aren't insulting to me, which has surprised me. I catch myself considering posting some of my newest images (from trips and other stuff that I really love) but now I feel different about sharing them here: I don't want to, what's the point?
Sometimes it's like I have to migrate somewhere else to share my work, find a new crowd and hang out.
I think your thoughts here are valid and very common. Even the most self-assured person considers how other people see themselves and their work or ideas as important - no matter how much they say they don't care what others think.
Your writing is always astounding and usually quite breathtaking.
Often I read your work and it moves me to comment. I'll open the comment box and read other's reactions and I'll see profound statements or insights that make me say "Gee, I wish I had said that."
I have a completely different take on this but I choose not to comment as I don't feel it's my right to possibly upset anyone with a comment. This can range from 'vanity' to being part of a clique.
Write because you want to write and for no other reason. The moment we consider 'comments' it straight away detracts the essence of what you create.
I understand what you mean. When I first started my journal it was Stabb who message me with a comment that made me more at ease to write. I sat, reading his simple words of encouragement and knew if a great writer such as he liked my journal, I could not be that bad. So in a way- IT IS ALL HIS FAULT! LOL
I also have looked back at my work, seeing growth and my own life change with the words. When you can look back at an entry and remember back on that day, it makes me happy I never hit the “Clear Journal”. In a way- my journal is like watching a movie of my life.
While other will not understand this view, it does not matter. My journal is my journey, and I am lucky to have a few people who want to see where I go. I see the comments left, and I have to say their has been comments left that made me laugh out loud and that made me tear up with the kind words.
I also enjoy leaving comments on my friends’ journals, letting them know I care, that I am here; they are not forgotten by me. I communicate more by the journal comment box then I do in messages it seems.
I try not to comment on stranger’s journals- I will if they pasted a test, got a job or lost a pet sort of thing but the day to day life of a stranger I leave. But even having someone read, to take the time and show an interest--- is that not a wonderful thing?
My reflex is to leave here something of yours from... the timestamping says it was last modified June 2006, and I'm almost certain I had to re-save it at some point after originally receiving it. So, from a while ago now.
I realized at the last moment that this isn't a private venue and it isn't mine to share. It's called "summer showers." Let me know if you'd like me to send it.
"It's interesting that writing I seem to like most so often engenders the least commentary." ;)
16:40 Mar 07 2010 Times Read: 893
What a morning! It has been so long since I have had time to relax and enjoy a little down time. I am still in my night clothes. Stabb is sleeping in and the girls are off doing teenager stuff.
It's cool and sunny outside, so I've opened the door to invite this new kiss of Spring indoors where I sit, curled in my chair, snug under an old quilt. The birds are singing to the day and I am writing. I am happy.
COMMENTS
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birra
03:11 Mar 29 2010
Ant hills identified for treatment? You mean, you're going to build them a deck? Maybe install some skylights? Make sure they're cozy and can welcome in spring's new generation of little ant babies?
birra
03:11 Mar 29 2010
Ant hills identified for treatment? You mean, you're going to build them a deck? Maybe install some skylights? Make sure they're cozy and can welcome in spring's new generation of little ant babies?
Vampirewitch39
21:24 Mar 29 2010
Ahhh... so sweet. You and Stabb growing things together. Sort of like you love for each other. :)
I also want to say- Ants might need a little pool. Sink a pop lid into the ground, should be the right size. ;)