Bill Nye the Science Guy
The Magic School Bus
Lawl so dorky. I thought these were the shit growing up though. XD
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. However, as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point, they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch
Granted they aren't very funny to the people that have them, these are the most bizarre and ironic phobias I've ever head of.
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - Fear of long words
Ithyphallophobia – Fear of Erections
Ergasiophobia – Fear of Work
Gymnophobia – Fear of Nudity
Neophobia – Fear of Newness
Pteronophobia – Fear of being Tickled by Feathers
Phobophobia - The fear of phobias
Arachibutyrophobia - fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth
Ephebiphobia - fear of teenagers
Geniophobia - fear of chins
Nomatophobia- Fear of names
Ommetaphobia or Ommatophobia- Fear of eyes.
Chromatophobia- Fear of colors.
Caligynephobia- Fear of beautiful women.
Euphobia - The fear of hearing good news.
I kept forgetting....
I love this! I used to listen to it over and over.
I have been doing just that for a while now. LOL
So a friend of mine texted me last night, this message....
'Oh God, guy on the bus is talking to me about government brainwashing. Heeeeeeelp!'
My response was..
'I would just start talking to myself in the hopes he'd think I'm crazier then he obviously is and slowly back off. LOL'
Forgot I had set Facebook to text messages to my phone, so seeing a number I didn't recognize I almost didn't read it and got really close to deleting it. LOL
Sex Problems Who me???
1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big Willy or a good memory. I don't remember what I chose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity
10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialler were too small.
12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down Under.
14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing......
15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't.
16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!
Send to the men who need a laugh and the women with a good sense of humour.
I just hugglefucked her, and she was kind of scared....
I made things better though. ;D
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02:25 Jan 11 2012
You, are, so, old! LOL ♥
22:24 Jun 02 2012
I used to love Bill Nye's show.
01:14 Dec 18 2019