My Dad is the rockin'-est dad!
He has been asking me when am I going to go out and get the New Harry Potter Book.
I am like, uhm I dunno.
So today he's like.. you have mail. Yes of course it was junk mail. Then he throws a box at me.
HE BOUGHT IT!!!!!
I want to read it, but then I don't.
I know something bad happens.
I know I am going to cry.
But I must read it!
I miss having a man in my life.
I had a dream of sleeping, feeling someone slide next to me, brushing the hair from the side of my face and kissing me softly on the forehead.
I miss that so much.
The touch.
The feelings.
The connection.
The intimacy. (not just sexual)
Just being together.
I’ve put myself in this situation; I can’t blame anyone but myself. I have so many things go on within me, I just feel to be deprive of that is the only way to achieve what I need to. I’ve walled myself in. I try to shut emotions off of that nature, sometimes it doesn’t work. I ignore them, never acting on them. I am sure it sounds totally and utterly ridiculous. I cannot complicate someone when I am in so much complication.
That within it self seems like everything would be failure.
I want to reach out.
I want to make the dream a reality.
It’s a struggle to trust, to let go.
If only it was easier to get past all my personal complications.
I am sure the longing will pass.
I thought I was okay with being alone.
I guess I’m really not.
:sigh:
FortunateFool has found me out.
I secretly watch her intently through that pic.
♥
lol
People never cease to amaze me.
Or sicken me for that matter.
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