Still Searching For Your Soulmate?
By Janice Holly Booth • February 22, 2015
Maybe it’s time to stop believing in fairy tales
Love, affinity, Romance, Intimacy, engage
I blame a lot on Walt Disney, who led several generations of young girls astray by convincing them that their prince was on his way. Films like Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella set the relationship bar ludicrously high. And yet there are thousands of people who still cling to the notion that somewhere out there exists their one true love.
The idea behind soul mates isn’t new. The oldest recorded reference is the legend of the Egyptian Gods Osiris and Isis. Plato wrote about soul mates in his philosophical text The Symposium around 385 BC. Religious texts make reference to seeking another to make oneself whole (Adam lost his rib and the rest is Biblical history). In all of these stories, there’s a common theme—a search for the one person who can complete you.
That’s a mistake says Karen Black, MBA and creator of The Soulmate Site. “Perhaps we can forgive ancient writers with ancient ideas—probably quite modern for their time—but 2,300 years later, it’s time to wise up. I mean, really. Some of us think that our parents have outdated ideas. Why do we listen to 2,000-year-old dead men instead of ourselves?”she quips. Black has dedicated more than a decade to studying the practical and spiritual meaning of soul mates. “Yes I do believe in soul mates,” she tells Life Reimagined. “No, I don’t believe in the magical aspects—i.e., that a soul mate is someone who completes you; or that we only have one soul mate; or that finding a soul mate is the solution to all of our problems. I think a soul-mate relationship is a growth relationship. In other words, simply being with that person gives us a reason to keep growing ourselves. It can be not just unhealthy but in the end disappointing if we keep looking at soul mates from the fantasy point of view.”
Black shares with Life Reimagined three mistakes even smart people make, along with advice on how to overcome them.
Mistake 1: You know what you want your mate to be—but you ignore who you need to be. Chances are good that if you’re looking for your soul mate, you’ve completed a long list of must-haves: a certain education and income level; a love of food, music and dancing; kindness; good parent material; loves kids and animals…you get the picture. Putting too much focus on the mate you want takes focus away from you becoming the person you need to be to attract the right someone. Ask “Who do I need to be in the world? What is my purpose?” “In a soul-mate relationship, you’ll be equals,” says Black. “This equality doesn’t refer to money, status or title. It refers to a deep sense of yourselves.”
Mistake 2: You live in your vision board and ignore today. “Since The Secret, vision boards are all the rage,” says Black. “The mistake I see many smart, spiritual women making is visioning without action. Our ability to imagine our soul mates and create rich, varied vision boards may energetically kick-start things, but we must be active participants in the process.” Do you say you’ll travel/learn to cook/go back to school once you meet your beloved? Do all those things now and put yourself in a place where you’re most likely to exude the kind of energy you want to attract.
Mistake 3: You know what you don’t want—but not what you want. “Fear-based lists of what we don’t want are energetically ineffective. What we focus on expands [so] focus on the love you want,” says Black. “Instead of focusing on past relationship failures or getting caught up in a laundry list, get clear about how you want to feel in a relationship. Nurtured, supported, safe or inspired for example.”
Hollywood continues to tease us with love stories and promises of ever-after. “It’s dangerous to be too literal about this because let me tell you: no one can complete you,” says Black. “I’d also add, if you meet someone who wants to complete you, my love advice is: Run!”
However, Black says, don’t give up hope. “Keep searching, keep learning. Give the nod to ideas that make you bigger, and throw away everything else.”
The sparrow is one of the most common birds around,
yet it has flourished when other species have failed.
It reflects self-worth.
If a Sparrow totem has entered your life, ask yourself if you know your own self-worth.
The sparrow will show you that even a common little bird can triumph.
The song sparrow reflects the chakra energy awakening from the heart and throat.
It reminds us to sing out our own song of dignity and self-worth.
During the Middle Ages, the Sparrow was the symbol
of peasants and the lower classes.
In Ancient Britain, the Sparrow was the symbol of friendly household spirits.
To the Greeks, it was the pet of Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love.
I do this mini article for people forget sometimes even I there is power in your words. So what are you creating? Also for myself since I am on a clean slate now.
The word failure puts forward a very simplistic way of thinking that allows for only two possibilities: failure or success. Few things in the universe are black and white, yet much of our language reads as if they are. The word failure signifies a paradigm in which all subtlety is lost. When we regard something we have done, or ourselves, as a failure, we lose our ability to see the truth, which is no doubt considerably more complex. In addition, we hurt ourselves. All you have to do is speak or read the word failure and see how it makes you feel.
At some point, the word may not have been so loaded with the weight of negativity, and it simply referred to something that did not go according to plan. Unfortunately, in our culture it is often used very negatively, such as when a person is labeled a failure, even though it is impossible for something as vast and subtle as a human being to be reduced in such a way. It also acts as a deterrent, scaring us from taking risks for fear of failure. It has somehow come to represent the worst possible outcome. Failure is a word so burdened with fearful and unconscious energy that we can all benefit from consciously examining our use of it, because the language we use influences the way we think and feel.
Next time you feel like a failure or fear failure, know that you are under the influence of an outmoded way of perceiving the world. When the world failure comes up, it’s a call for us to apply a more enlightened consciousness to the matter at hand. When you are consciously aware of the word and its baggage you will not fall victim to its darkness. In your own use of language, you may choose to stop using the word failure altogether. This might encourage you to articulate more clearly the truth of the situation, opening your mind to subtleties and possibilities the word failure would never have allowed.
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