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I used to fear the night. But it becomes your friend when the day becomes your enemy. No one knows much about me and I'm a hard person to describe. There's many different sides of me. I don't know how to explain that one except it's not a crazy sort of different side. Sometimes I can be the sweetest person you've ever met or your nightmare if you make me feel I have to be.


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My mother thinks my interest in the paranormal are unhealthy but the only way to not fear is to know what you're afraid of. I was taught that by my best friend. There's nothing to fear if you can see past the mask of ignorance and lies


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I went through this period of time where I isolated myself from everyone. I needed to think and in my household that really wasn't an option. I found it easier to explore what I wanted to be through art, poetry, and music. The realms of my mind seemed to split then. I could never hurt my mother and her beliefs despite the fact that I didn't fully agree or understand. So during the day I was her girl the good one the smart one. I stayed under the radar away from boys and their advances and girls. I wouldn’t let her get be out of the habit of dressing in black clothing though; needless to say it annoyed her. It just never fit. I wasn’t innocent and my libido was on over drive due to hormones. But oh well as long as she was happy. With out her I’d be nothing.


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For as long as I can remember I had the same friends Dominic, Alexander, and Nioclai. At times it seemed we’d never stay friends but even if we weren’t blood I’d spill my own to protect them. I love them all with my little black heart. Alexander gave me the name little death I guess it was only befitting to use it here. The French used it to describe climaxing or the “Big O” at first I believed it a little far fetched but as I got older it made a lot of sense. Dominic and Nicolai are brother and sister. They sort of hooked me to the dark side. Or so to speak. They didn’t care what anyone thought and I admired them for it. They were deliciously beautiful in a sinful kind of way. But this is supposed to be about me, Ego aside of course.
As I’ve said before it’s hard to describe me. I’m a mystery to myself. At times I can be considered charming an angel but others Vindictive and sadistic. Dominic calls me a Socio path.
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I love music. the most dangerous thing to my psyche is the violin and piano. When they’re together it’s like hearing the words in my soul being played for the world to hear and all I can do is close my eyes and listen. I feel a need to move in the currents of the lyrics. It almost seems crazy how annoyed I get when I hear a good song and someone interrupts with some rude sound or tries to talk to me. To me music is a privilege and should be treated as such no matter what you like it’s what makes you feel that matters.




I confuse myself involuntarily. At times I feel I can be completely innocent and others I don’t believe I’m the same person. My darker half is very sarcastic and devious but very intelligent. I manipulate people when they aggravate me; it’s stunning when they realize the smile is malice instead of just sweet. But I let them walk all over if I feel I’ve hurt them in any way. I can never find the things I want to say until the sun goes down. It’s like an off switch I say what I feel and it gets me into trouble but if I have to speak why not let it be the truth. When my thoughts come out of my head and sound a little crazy my friends are the only ones that keep me grounded they don’t expect everything they just love me for me and I love them for them and their understanding. Even if sometimes they add fuel to my delusional fire



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Im not that creative as a writer but I do little poems or something in my journal so don’t be a stranger. LOL