The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

00:53 Jun 23 2026
Times Read: 12




Oh look.

The intellectual titan has arrived.

Nothing says "I totally have a solid argument" quite like opening with throwing random accusations at the wall, and ending with "you could be a WOMAN" as if you've just uncovered some earth-shattering secret that will bring civilization to its knees.

I had to read that masterpiece twice just to make sure I wasn't missing the joke.

Turns out the joke was the entire journal.

So let's break this down.

I called people idiots

Your response?

A paragraph-long tantrum that reads like a twelve-year-old discovered energy drinks and internet access on the same day.
Then we transition seamlessly into accusations of lying, profile collecting, identity theft, and gender speculation.

No evidence. No screenshots. No receipts. No proof.

Just the online equivalent of a man standing in the middle of a parking lot screaming at pigeons.

My favorite part has to be the dramatic reveal:

"You could be a WOMAN."

The horror.
The scandal.

Alert the authorities immediately.

Imagine writing that sentence, reading it back to yourself, and thinking, "Yes. This is the killing blow."

I nearly fell out of my chair.

What's next?

"You could actually be three raccoons in a trench coat."

"You could be from Ohio."

"You could be using Internet Explorer."

The possibilities are endless.


It's honestly impressive.

Most people need at least a few facts before they start throwing around criminal allegations.
You skipped that entire step and went straight to the conclusion.

Efficiency.

What really makes this journal special, though, is that it accidentally says more about the author than the target. You wanted everyone to see an evil mastermind. Instead they got front-row seats to someone having an emotional breakdown in public and confusing it for an argument.


If this is the quality of evidence we're working with these days, I look forward to next week's journal where you expose Bigfoot for running a coven and Elvis for stealing profiles.



Until then, try taking a deep breath and doing a lil homework before posting.

Or don't... The entertainment value is tremendous. 🍿

lulz

23:49 Jun 22 2026
Times Read: 37

Well...
December 29th, 2017.

That's the last time I wrote one of these. Eight and a half fucking years.

EIGHT.

AND.

A.

HALF.

YEARS.


I disappear for nearly a decade. Long enough for entire generations of VR personalities to come and go. Long enough for people to create new profiles, new covens, new enemies, new identities and whatever other weird shit some of you have been doing in the dark.

So naturally I thought maybe enough time had passed.

Maybe people had matured.

Maybe people had grown.

Maybe the average IQ had finally climbed high enough to stop licking the windows.



Holy fuck was I wrong.
I come back and within minutes find VR in the middle of the same shit different day drama all over robot pictures, robot songs, anonymous honor hits and conspiracy theories.

Jesus Christ.





I was gone so long I expected flying cars but you idiots somehow managed to become dumber.

Let's see if I've got this right -

One side is posting AI songs and images.

Another is screaming AI is garbage.

Then somebody catches negative honor on their imaginary internet profile and suddenly we've got CSI: Vampire Rave - Special Olympics Division working the case.


Outstanding... Absolutely fucking outstanding.

Now my favorite part.

Somebody writes a journal about how AI art and AI music are garbage.

Cool.

Fine.

Whatever

Then somebody immediately takes the bait harder than a starving bass at a Walmart fishing tournament and rushes out a giant pro-AI journal that reads like it was written by the exact fucking thing they're defending.



BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
No. Please. Keep going.
I haven't laughed this hard in years.



Then the ANON accounts show up... of course they do.

Because no VR drama is complete without some anonymous dipshit deciding they're Sherlock Holmes after three shots of bargain-bin vodka and half a thought.

"IT WAS IMMORTALKISS!"

Oh?
How do we know?

"We just know."

Interesting. Fascinating even.

Tell me more about the voices.

Got proof?

No.

Screenshots?

No.

Evidence?

No.

Just assumptions, hurt feelings and a desperate need to blame somebody?



Well shit, why didn't you say so. Case closed boys. Roll credits.

The AI crowd is pretending prompts make them artists.

The anti-AI crowd is pretending outrage makes them intellectuals.

The ANON crowd is pretending assumptions are evidence.

And the rest of VR is standing around watching the dumpster fire while acting surprised that it's hot.




You know what the funniest part is?

Not the AI.

Not the honor hits.

Not the anonymous accounts.

It's that after eight and a half years the one thing that hasn't changed is how desperately some of you need attention.
The tools changed. The stupidity stayed exactly the same.

I leave for nearly a decade and come back to find people arguing over whether a computer wrote something while anonymous accounts are busy writing fan fiction about who clicked a button.

Never change VR.

Actually...

No.

Change.

Please.

You're making the fucking robots look intelligent.

lulz

21:59 Jun 22 2026
Times Read: 74


Two trailer park Vamps go round the outside
Round the outside
Round the outside
...
Two trailer park Vamps go round the outside
Round the outside
Round the outside

Guess who's back
Back again
Citizen's back
Tell a friend
Guess who's back
Guess who's back
Guess who's back
Guess who's back
Guess who's back
Guess who's back
Guess who's back
...
I've created a monster
Cuz nobody wants to see Citizen no more
They want X, I'm chopped liver
Well if you want X, this is what I'll give ya
A little bit of me mixed with some hard liquor
Some vodka that'll jump start my heart quicker
Then a shock when I get shocked
At the hospital by the doctor
When I'm not co-operating
When I'm rocking the table while he's operating
You waited this long, now stop debating
Cause I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovu-lating
I know that you got a job Ms. Cheney
But your husband's heart problem's complicating
So the Admin's won't let me be
Or let me be me, so let me see
They try to shut me down on VR
But it feels so empty, without me
So, come on and dip, bum on your lips
Jump back, jiggle your hip and wiggle a bit
And get ready, cause this is about to get heavy
I just settled all my lawsuits, FUCK you Debbie!
Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody, just follow me
Cause we need a little, controversy
Cause it feels so empty, without me
I said this looks like a job for me
So everybody, just follow me
Cause we need a little, controversy
Cause it feels so empty, without me
Little Hellions
Kids feelin rebellious
Embarrassed their parents still listen to Elvis
They start feeling like prisoners helpless
'Til someone comes along on a mission and yells BITCH!!!
A visionary, vision of scary
Could start a revolution, pollutin the airwaves
A rebel
So just let me revel and bask in the fact
That I got everyone kissin my ass
And it's a disaster, such a catastrophe
For you to see so damn much of my ass
You asked for me?
Well I'm back, na-na-na-na-na
Fix your bent antenna tune it in and then I'm gonna
Enter in, endin up under your skin like a splinter
The center of attention, back for the winter
I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling
Infesting in your kid's ears and nesting
Testing, attention please
Feel the tension, soon as someone mentions me
Here's my ten cents, my two cents is free
A nuisance, who sent? You sent for me?
Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody, just follow me
Cause we need a little, controversy
Cause it feels so empty, without me
I said this looks like a job for me
So everybody, just follow me
Cause we need a little, controversy
Cause it feels so empty, without me
A tisk it a task it, I’ll go tit for tat with
Anybody who's talkin this shit, that shit
Old grudges in the forums, they can take a back seat
We've all seen enough battles playing out on repeat
And the gatekeepers? They'll fade into the night too
Spending all their time judging what others choose to do
You don't know me, don't pretend that you do
It's over, nobody listen to you
Now let's go
Just give me the signal,
I'll be there with a whole list
Full of new insults
I been dope, suspenseful with a pencil
Ever since Prince turned himself into a symbol
But sometimes man it just seems
Everybody only wants to discuss me
So this must mean I'm dis-gus-ting
But it's just me, I'm just obscene
No I'm not the first king of controversy
I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley
To do black music so selfishly
And used it to get myself wealthy
(Hey!) There's a concept that works
Twenty million other white rappers emerge
But no matter how many fish in the sea
It'd be so empty, without me
Now this looks like a job for me
So everybody, just follow me
Cause we need a little, controversy
Cause it feels so empty, without me
I said this looks like a job for me
So everybody, just follow me
Cause we need a little, controversy
Cause it feels so empty, without me...