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I was in an excellent mood getting up a while ago. I didn't oversleep for my feedback and I even have time for stuff like this before I head out.. But I sign on to my computer and someone has hacked my best friends msn account and is asking me to have sex with them, some girl promoting a porn website. This pisses me off beyond belief, now I cant trust sending him emails or anything, who knows who'll read it? And who knows when Ill see him next time too, email was our main way of communicating *sighs* BUT, this must not be the standard for the day, cuz Im getting feedback on my latest paper today and I have to get it passed since I dont have time to do it over again! So: fingers crossed people!

My dear Gerd. Lying in the hospital bed, dying of cancer. Why didn't you tell anyone? You must have been in pain for a while, known something was wrong? You shut yourself in, closed everyone else out. So many years since Ive seen you, you dont even get your mail yourself anymore.. what happened?

You've been my neighbour my whole life, when I was 3 you caught me trying to steal apples from your apple tree and we became friends. We hung out my entire childhood, I would watch my shows with you, eat ice cream on your porch and help you grind your coffee, atleast I like to think I helped *smiles* Though its been years since Ive seen you, and even more years still since I saw you smile, I still somethimes smell your perfume, barely a wiff that stirs up memories, before its gone, just as soon as it came drifting by.

I cant help but wonder how you look now, since last I saw you. Mom won't say so I guess its like the others Ive seen slowly slip away from cancer, Im glad she doesn't say.

Ill always remember you walking to get your mail at the end of the street in the mornings, with your scarf around your head to hide that you still had roles in your hair. The trips we took to Oslo, even the train seemed scary back then. We shared the love of my cat Tarzan, he would sit at your door and cry till you came out and sat with him, remember? You would sit in the window and have conversations with him, you were the right kind of crazy, the loving, fun kind of crazy. Im glad you have influenced me in my life, Im just sorry you spent your last years in solitude..

Go in peace my friend, let go of the pain and be free, Ill come home and say goodbye if your kids'll have me. This is my tribute to your memory.

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Oceanne
22:17 Jan 17 2012

I am really sorry to see that cancer touched your life and the lives of those you love.



This is a beautiful tribute.

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Well the day has passed, today I managed to stay focused all through the day, wich is awesome. Still haven't been able to write a single word on my incomprihensible homework assignement though.. its due on wednesday so now I gotta write 5 pages tomorrow.. the sad thing is Ive been working on it all day, but nothing to show for it.. I actually think Im not gonna be able to hand in anything, wich means Ill flunk out. Unless all papers are passed I cant take my finals in spring. so that kinda sucks.. I just cant seem to understand how to solve this one, and of course none of the others in class have this problem so I get to feel sort of stupid in discussions at school when I ask them for help. They try, but not much they can do since its not like anyone's experiances are the same, Ive gotten to read through a few of the others's papers, good stuff, but sadly, no help whatsoever. its gonna be a long night and a longer one tomorrow... then on wednesday I get new homework slapped in my face.. another 5 page paper to write.. *sighs*

I feel like Im sort of in trouble.

*yawn* Well here it is: Monday. Back to school after a 5 day weekend where Ive won my first game of bowling, ruined a painting, been kinda drunk, pissed of a friend by having a conversation with her boyfriend, not really started on my homework, and done a whole lot of nothing. When I look at it like this, it doesn't really seem like I do much in my life lol

I prefer it slow though. I do miss to travel, its been over a year since I last left the country or even sat on an airplane, the only traveling I do these days is home and back here again by train, wich doesn't really do a thing for me because of all the shit at home with people. I do love my town though.. I go home alot cuz I know it makes my parents happy, and my mother sleeps better at night when I stop by atleast once a month and she gets to see student life isn't making me too skinny or crazy *smiles* And of course my brother, I try to make things better for him too, but its hard.



And now its monday, a new week with new oppurtunities. This week Im gonna finnish my homework, buy more paints and try to paint my masterpiece again, gonna get stupid drunk as I do every week, get my paper evaluated and keep trying to quit snusing, but dont tell anyone, whenever anyone tries to quit doing anything people always feel its their job to tell you how to do it and how their friend just dropped it etc. If I cant do it my way, Im not doing it, and so far its going great! So Im just gonna do it, and in a week or so Im gonna be out of it *proud* :D



This post is really about nothing, Im tired and just rambling for the hell of it, emptying my head before I get up for school. Figured from lack of people to ramble to, Im just gonna do my ramblings here and maybe stop feeling so alone in my group of friends, they have time for fun and goofing around, but whenever someone has a problem, they all turn around, so I get stuck with all my problems and everyone elses lol. I dont mind, but I need an outlet too!



Anyways. New week, ne opportunities, maybe Ill meet someone fun this week, maybe find someone to go on a date with ^^, been single for a year now so starting to miss that someone special.

Have a great monday!

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Angelus
15:10 Jan 16 2012

A YEAR? tHAT'S ALL???

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Im sitting here trying to write a 5 page paper on how me working as a proffesional youth worker can have a positive impact on a teenagers life.. thats fair enough except... I have no idea what kind of a job I will have in the future, Im in my first year, the others in class mostly seem to have their futures worked out, and most of them are in their last year.. sooo in short my head is suffering quite alot over this, how to write a serious paper on something I haven't quite figured out yet..?

So far Ive managed to squeeze out half a page of general nonsense, but now I gotta start writing seriously, and I have no clue lol! Luckily its not do untill wednesday so I need to find a way to do this, without lying or making shit up *grins*

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Gordonx
15:01 Jan 15 2012

Take 5 minutes away a short break, have a coffee or something to help you to relax and clear your mind. You was a teenager once, so you would reflect on your past and how life back then treated you as what life does. I know in today's world is different compared to the past, but there are situations that you can compare with when writting the 5 page paper.

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