The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I wish I could be like Jack Kerouac, Edgie, and cool
But I can't write
I wanted to be a rock star like Ace Frehley
But I can't play a damned thing
I thought of being an actor
But I could never remember my lines
Behold the dumpster fire
Let's all gather around it and toast marshmallows like burnt offerings to the mashed-up God-like thing we were told to worship
As a chorus of sirens screams in the distance
We all scatter like rats in the dark