The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Hurry, it's NOT TOO LATE! What NOT to put in your Halloween bowl for kids:



1. Tootsie rolls, you cheap bastard



2. Candy corn - kids only like them for their squishability, so you'll just be cleaning later.



3. Werther's Originals - sure sign of a pedophile



4. Suckers - see #1



5. Mary Janes - sure sign of an old lady hoping for leftovers



6. Bit-O-Honey - NOT candy



7. Any PEEP-like marchmallow treat - Do I even need to explain this?



8. Fruit - Kids will hate you



9. Licorice - Because I hate it. Unless it's red twizzlers.



10. Mike & Ikes - Medicine tastes better



That's my top 10 list. If you have any I've missed, please add them in comments!

COMMENTS

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chrysanthemia
23:33 Oct 31 2010

We just want Oh Henry's and Mr. Bigs.



And NOT the little ones, either.



This is my favourite holiday. ^^

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ThothLestat
02:54 Nov 01 2010

11. those nasty-ass peanutbutter flavored taffy things that come wrapped in either orange or black wax paper. WTF?



blecchh.

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Nightgame
04:13 Nov 01 2010

Coupons! For crying out loud what kid wants a coupon in their candy bag?

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BubbleGumClaudia
23:03 Nov 01 2010

AMEN Joli!!!

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LiamK
14:10 Nov 16 2010

11. Candy - On all hallow's eve, the dead may find their peace. Take this annual opportunity to experience serial mugging by juvenile delinquents.



Am I the only one that sees a disconnect here? Or am I just... what's the word... crotchety?

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Joli
09:21 Nov 20 2010

Liam, you've been a crotchety old curmudgeon since you were 12!

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