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4 entries this month
02:31 Apr 28 2025
Times Read: 164
Still alive.
Still breathing.
Still grieving.
Still 24/7 caregiver.
Still stressed out.
Still have lots to do.
Still don't have the energy.
Still don't seem to care.
02:59 Apr 18 2025
Times Read: 267
We all gathered and told tales. Some I knew, others never heard. A good old hen party of 7. Even had two roosters.
As you laid, listening, smile on your face. I sat with a heavy heart as I made the decision you trusted me too. Lucky you had two days of clear mind and understood. As you said this morning "I'm happy and blessed" as we all gather, chairs hunted as people kept coming.
8 hours we sat, talked, laughter and tears was the sound, vision you had. We watched as the nurse came in, adjusting your medication. The last you would be taking after 61 days.
The talk had turned to how kids understood electronics better then any of us as you took your last gasp of air. And my heart broke.
RIP my sister.
22:59 Apr 14 2025
Times Read: 306
Bondsman on Amazon prime was not what I expected. Nor was I expecting this from Amazon.
It's a southern Supernatural style twist. Loving it.
Wow- my first normal journal. Seems life is getting back into a pattern for me.
00:27 Apr 11 2025
Times Read: 372
Sitting in the recliner, laptop on my lap, news on the TV as brother does his last breathing treatment. I dreamed about VR last night. I log on to find a message from Cancer saying due to the tariff Trump put in- it was too expensive to keep the site up.
Like I said- dream. No clue how I got that. But it made me stir, toss, turn, and grab my phone. It had been a few days so I log in, handled a few things. And made myself promise to spend some time here today.
Busy day- moving some stuff in the homestead to make room for my stuff. Like craft table, etc. And I did a deep clean of my sister bedroom. Well.... and moved the mattress to end, so I could use it for some storage. I moved into the smallest bedroom in the 4 bedroom home, so I needed to clear, move some stuff. I have a friend who is helping me- think god for his strong back. :)
Sister is not doing well. Her right leg- the plate, screws have failed. And this is without her even standing on her legs. Just her being moved in the bed, her own weight, weak bones have lead to this. After calls from the dr's- everyone agrees she is not strong enough to do another long surgery again.
So we are just going to wait. She is off the vent but on forced air with the trach. She is still unable to speak. Cant walk, and the place she is at now isn't the nicest. I am pushing to move her to a chair, a few hours a day.
Brother is well. He is really showing his age. Or maybe Im seeing it more since we live together now. I did buy him his own 55 inch flat screen tv. He has messed it up several times- hard for him to use the remote. But thinking he is getting the hang of it.
Really- all I got to talk about. Life is sort of ' what does Ray need? Call, go visit Sis trip" That needs to change some or I will lose it. lol
:)
But after today- its a muscle relaxer pill and bed early. And sleeping in in the morning. Then next week, adding to my list, it will be showing of rental property. What fun. So this weekend is rest.
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COMMENTS
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CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
03:08 Apr 28 2025
Still here for you hun! Reach out anytime, you know how to get me. *hugs*
Cartomancer
13:35 Apr 28 2025
Sorry, I’m just now seeing this. How painful, how very sad.🥲
I don’t mean to not keep up with a lot of things. Often times I sign in here just to see if there’s any administrative messages, and then I do a little personal blogging and logout. I’ve been so caught up with school and life things that it’s been hard for me to keep up with anything else.
OldSoul
00:51 Apr 29 2025
*hugs*