The love story of Ralph and Edna...
18:18 Apr 20 2009
Times Read: 613
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him.. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'
Happy Mental Health Day!
Joke17:09 Apr 09 2009
Times Read: 639
It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but, here is one:
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, 'Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?'
The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, 'Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech, or a son of a birch?'
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, 'It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in.
Now wipe that silly smile off your face.
The Lone Ranger's last request
21:26 Apr 03 2009
Times Read: 662
The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured
by an enemy Indian War Party.
The Indian Chief proclaims,
"So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger" .
"In honor of the Harvest Festival,
YOU will be executed in three days."
"Before I kill you, I grant you three requests"
"What is your FIRST request ???'
The Lone Ranger responds,
"I'd like to speak to my horse."
The Chief nods and Silver is brought
before the Lone Ranger who whispers in
Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away.
Later that evening, Silver returns with
a beautiful blonde woman on his back.
As the Indian Chief watches,
the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent
and spends the night.
The next morning the Indian Chief admits
he's impressed..
"You have a very fine and loyal horse",
"But I will still kill you in two days."
"What is your SECOND request ???"
The Lone Ranger again asks to speak
to his horse.
Silver is brought to
him,
and he again whispers in the horse's ear.
As before, Silver takes off and disappears
over the horizon.
Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise,
Silver again returns, this time with a
voluptuous brunette, more attractive
than the blonde.
She enters the Lone Rangers tent
and spends the night.
The following morning the Indian Chief
is again impressed.
"You are indeed a man of many talents,"
"But I will still kill you tomorrow."
"What is your LAST request ???"
The Lone Ranger responds,
"I'd like to speak to my horse, .... alone."
The Chief is curious, but he agrees,
and Silver is brought to
the
Lone Ranger's tent.
Once they're alone,
the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears,
Looks him square in the eye and says,
Listen Very Carefully !!!!
FOR... THE... LAST... TIME...
I SAID ...
"BRING POSSE"
COMMENTS
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BLOODLIFE
21:49 Apr 28 2009
LOL .. I luv that..!
garnetdoll
23:28 Apr 28 2009
smiles...thats too funny!
ladygoddessaries
23:41 Apr 28 2009
Well how about that.. never even consider it. *giggles*
Theban
17:19 May 08 2009
Lol so true!
MyArmyMyMilitaryMyLife
02:14 Dec 11 2009
Totally makes sense now.