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...or just to vent. well this is great. i moved to Georgia like i wanted. im fairly fresh to this new world and i dont think i have enough strength or patience to survive it. i have no idea what im doing. did i make a mistake to come here? what kind of fool am i if i made such an important decision nonchalantly? What was i thinking?! just packing up and leaving, leaving everything i ever known behind. not knowing what the hell i was getting myself into. i have no one to turn to now. i fear i have so early in life dug my very own grave to put myself in at a short notice. well, lets figure this out the hard way shall we.

lists of pros:

1) i made it here didnt i? after all this is what i had been working for for almost a half a year

2) i am with someone that i love

3) atleast he has a job

4) we have a place to stay together

5) i have a great car

6) the family likes me

7) im meeting new people

8) there isnt much drama here, just in my own head

9) im not pregnant or sick

10) im sort of having fun



list of cons:

1) we are living with his grandmother, who i dont think likes me very much

2) i didnt think this plan through like i should have

3) i dont have a job even after all the applications i put in

4) i cant pay for the car and help mom out if i dont have a job

5) i dont think i fit in here, not truely

6) i havent made much friends

7) i am diving myself bonkers

8) im bored out of my mind

9) ive become a slob and i stink

10) this has been causing a lot of fights with me and my significant other

11) if we break up, i have nowhere to go

12) we dont have any money at all

13) i havent been getting much sleep lately, for no apparent reason

14) im lazier than ever

15) i've become useless

16) i am not even that great of a "housewife" type figure like everyone wants me to be

17) im starting to really miss my old home

18) im scared



please give me the strength to get me through these days and nights. give me clarity as to what i want. give me courage enough to see it willingly and go forth trying to make the best of it. please give me enough wisedom to help me make it through and see the solutions so the ample cons can become wonderful pros in my life. i need help. i need someone to understand. i need to be loved in a way i need help seeing because i cannot see the way he loves me if at all. And finally, give both old and new families the strenght to bear with me, cuz i might fail them like no other.