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dearest Rose
its almost Christmas
i won a bottle of Jonny Walker Red for you
i will only open it when I see you
its a struggle
I'm tired a lot
I also have an appointment to see a doctor
one of my ex-girlfriends died
she was only 54
so now we are at this age
I need to find you..soon
love you more than life it self
Dew

my dearest
these days as often at this age I think of death
but not because I am down but I know it is coming
what if ..when we die we didn't really die but just transform into pure light and depending on how you did in lifeor rather what you did
would be the color of the light you become
if you were rotten then your light would be black and you would turn to dust only to be sucked into the dark crystals
did i mention you are drawn to a cave its like a huge geode
if you are kind and loving your light will be golden but if you are rotten and greedy your light starts out dark purple then black then dust the golden light turns into a burst of warmth no body to leave behind no need for graves just when its your time you feel like this inner compass tugging at you and this impulse to go to this place....no pain no sadness just pure joy or the opposite

my Dearest love
Tis the season for Chrismas Stories
I will watch Chrismas Films from Romcoms to the old Black and white films
the 6th Christmas as a single man
6.... it's all my fault .. I can not find you
i don't even know where to look
I need sleep
love you Rose
you forever searching Dew
:(