EstrangedOne's Journal


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3 entries this month

''The Aquarius and Libra''...

11:00 May 06 2014
Times Read: 631

Yes... "the Aquarius and Libra". Some people might wonder why I post something like this, but others will hopefully understand it.

Physically, yes. I am an Aquarius. Metaphysically (which is most of what matters, to me (and with due reason)), I am a Libra. And yes; I carry the traits of both. At times, it is a complete 'Curse', while at other times, it can be somewhat of a 'blessing'.

My loyalty and trust is that of a True Aquarius... when I do 'swear' my loyalty to someone, that loyalty remains equally as True, until one of two things happens... either I 'perish', or the other party betrays my loyalty (and trust). After said point, I am no longer loyal to said person. Instead, I become the worst enemy they have ever known.

The main 'downfall' of my being a true Aquarius is the fact that I have a difficult time feeling emotion as others do. However, when I speak to people, I call things as I see them, and I speak only the truth, be it 'cold' or 'warm', 'soft' or 'harsh'. I don't hold anything back. And the fact that I don't feel emotion as most do, my judgment also isn't clouded by my emotions as often as it would be for others.

However, there is also the Libra in me (yes, the Metaphysical part of me)... Passionate, Compassionate, and, well... (funny enough) also focuses upon 'Beauty', of all things, as well as Love. I'm not talking about "under certain conditions", either. I'm talking about Unconditional Love. This is the Libra in me.

however, when the Libra becomes pissed off, it becomes rather... 'twisted', so to speak. Or, as in My case, not merely 'twisted', but either positively Sadistic, and most often... Sadomasochistic. Meaning... another very, very 'UGLY' foe to face.

However... though I've left out a few other traits of each, considering the fact that I carry many of the traits of both my 'Birth Signs', what does that make someone, when they carry both sides, and someone or something Really Pisses them off?

Well, if you go by a few people that I know... That tends to be a "Nightmare on Two Feet" - especially when it comes to me. But I also know of a few people who would ask "Why?"... well, the answer to that is extremely simple.--

"You have a Very Dangerously Sadistic (or Sadomasochistic) foe to contend with."

And in my case, an Extremely Unpredictable, Volatile one, at that. Sadly, some people can very much attest to this - though not likely anyone from the Rave.

I am a completely loyal person, to anyone that I love and hold dear to me. Anyone who truly knows me and remains honest will attest to this. But when the trust and loyalty of a person like myself is betrayed/'disgraced'... that is something to be wary of, because especially going by what those of my past have said... not only will I hold nothing back, but I tend to be one 'Twisted Son-of-a-Bitch' when I get pissed off.

I also happen to know of a few others, whom are not quite the SAME as me, but very similar... they are and always have been very loyal friends (and lovers) to others. But once another party does something to completely piss them off, it isn't easy to regain their trust, let alone keep them from turning 'ugly' on their 'foe'.

And strange as it may sound... this is one reason for which I prefer it when people remain blunt and honest with me, so long as they leave some certain subjects alone. Because admittedly... when I get pissed off at someone, I can be one... SICK-minded 'creature'. And yes, I used the word "creature' instead of "person", in the matter, because at such a point... I usually tend to either completely 'lose' myself, or I come damn close to it.




Concern and Instincts... This Is A Bitch.

22:16 May 03 2014
Times Read: 647

I have to say... I don't like it when someone I love tells me that they need to talk to me because they're ill. It seems I'm to expect a call from someone who is evidently ill, but knowing Me and My "demented" mind... I will probably end up suggesting something that the person won't like, simply because we're essentially conflicting with interests in the matter.

Is it really any wonder that I choose not to get close to Humans, now? I've been through so much, in my time, that I should have been six feet under, Long Ago. Humans, however... they're just a little bit too frail, most of the time.

But something, right now, is starting to give me a slightly 'eerie' feeling. And I don't like it. Only last night, my 'craving' started hitting me like a train wreck. And it's already taking its toll. I think someone is very shortly going to be dealing with the side of me that they really don't like.




Getting on My Last and Only Nerve...

00:18 May 03 2014
Times Read: 667

I think people tend to forget whom and what I am, as far as my particular 'Astrological Sign(s)' go. Because every time I turn around, someone is either trying to piss me off (yes; intentionally) or they simply don't realize just how difficult it is, maybe not for Others to trust in Me... but for Me to trust in Others. I lack faith in the Human Race for a reason...

You see, though it may be considered "impossible", I am one of few people who have not only One 'date of birth'. I have Two. And believe it or not, they are actually Months apart from each other.

By this, I refer to the notion (and fact) that I am both Aquarius and Libra.

I do prefer to make friends, and anyone who relatively knows my woman can ask just how... "intricate" or 'deeply' I can place myself within said relationship. However, THAT is the Libra in me.

The Aquarius in me, on the other hand, tends to seem... somewhat 'detached'. Meaning, I 'lack' certain emotions which others believe are essential. That's because the Aquarius in me doesn't think with emotion, like the Libra does. The Aquarius in me is Pure Logic and factual/scientific (picture said side of me as Nikola Tesla, in a way). The Libra in me is the emotion.

And believe it or not, the two may seem impossible to be, but it is much more possible than most people think (tell me how you might agree, and I'll tell you if you're right).

However... here is the difference between the Libra in me and the Aquarius; at times, they conflict. Meaning, in my case, something a little odd happens-- my own loyalty (b it as a friend or as a lover) is often, well... "cheap", so to speak. BUT, the thing that people don't realize about it is that my loyalty is that of the Aquarius. Meaning, If someone befriends me, then am the most loyal friend that you will ever know... Until You Piss Me Off. And once that happens, the loyalty that I once held is very difficult to regain. And I will (instead of being your friend) become your worst enemy, and most likely... you Worst Nightmare. Why? Because unfortunately, the Libra in me holds a vindictive side... a Very vindictive side, at that. You see, the libra in me somewhat enjoys mind games... Allot. Put the two together, and you have one lethal, sadistic, and (most likely) clever-as-Hell foe to contend with.

Whether it be Psychological or Physical 'warfare', believe me... It Doesn't Matter. The Libra loves psychological 'warfare'. But the Aquarius can be equally as deadly, when dealt with, face-to-face.

Long story short, to piss off ONE of these 'signs' is bad enough. The libra may be nasty to piss off, at times, but an Aquarius tends to have a bit of a "break down" for a temper. Put the two together, and you have a walking Nightmare, straight from the deepest depths of Hell. If an Aquarius, alone, can 'demolish' your world, should you piss them off, then imagine what a 'Hybrid' of the two can be capable of...

I think those people who deal with Me... should really begin to 'look inwards', and decide whether it is really a good idea to piss me off, anymore... Especially considering the one thing about me that virtually Everyone and his or her brother knows: I Just Don't Give A Damn.

Love and relationships? Yes, one could call me a "fool/sucker" for the woman/person I love. But what person ISN'T a fool, in such a case?

But friendships? That is something else entirely. When you betray the trust and/or destroy the loyalty of a person whom in any way holds the traits of the sign of an Aquarius... You are Nothing but asking for trouble, and Absolute Hell to ensue.

Now, I am beginning to see why some of my old high school friends always used to tell everyone (in reference to me, of course) "I don't bother with 'Karma'... I... Am... 'Karma'". Why do they say that?... well... I can almost bet that it's because I Just Don't Care.

Funny enough, whilst I write this, right now... I am about as 'detached' and 'numb' a can be. Now, is that a Good thing?... or is it Bad?



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