I was whipped and it was good that is all.
Finally I'm starting to find the woman I've always been. So many drastic changes. I feel so good and loved. Yet I struggle with my trauma depression what not. It's so bad now that I'm insulting myself and calling myself fat. I can't stop them from speaking and it goes back and forth. I don't like it too many personalities out at once. I had a major trauma episode that gave me so much fear i collapse into a ball but was hanging on the counter with all my life cuz i turned on the water. SO much like this is happening. I'm scared that I'll lose everything. I'll keep trying to fight but it's really hard cuz all i want to do is sleep and never wake up Also I turned on the water to do dishes and I had a terror trauma event curled up into a ball holding on the counter for dear life you ignored that and I needed assurance but k I'll leave you be.
Looking at my picture now. I'm absolutely loving me
Ptsd is a fucking cunt. I have it as well. I try my hardest not to let my past traumas define me. but lets face trauma is all i know, every since i've been a child. I do keep reminding myself and i partially believe it. It is not my fault what happened to me. Nor is it your fault. You are not your trauma and i am so proud of you for starting to find yourself
I've been having major dysphoria to the point is was intolerable. All the hate messages overwhelmed me and i broke down in tears. I hate myself I hate myself hate myself each one with two hits in my head. yeah I abuse myself. I'm also a cutter. I don't deserve to exists. What's wrong with me. Then tried to reach out to my support group no one was available. I ran inside woke up one of my partners and was telling them I was having a breakdown. I immediately collapsed to the floor the body had stopped responding majorly overwhelmed. Deep emotional crying and couldn't stop and almost had to call crisis. I hope this isn't a sign of another breakdown that may send me to the hospital.
I'm sorry hun, just breathe, stop listening to these people. You know yourself better than anyone doesn't let the words tear you down, at the end of the day that's all they are is mindless jabbering WORDS from nothing but mindless people who have demons of their own. lOVE YOURSELF
There are cruel people out their that take the hate they have for themselves out on wonderful people like you.
If you ever need or want to talk, I'm a message away. Much love..
My friend, remember the facts of life. There are people higher then you and people lower then you. You need to learn to live for YOU. When you was born, you came alone and when you die, you will die alone. mean, whatever people tell you and do, is just part of their dementia. Learn to find peace within yourself and for sure, you will be a happy person. Ignoring the negativity of others, will create a positive path to your journey in life. And please, don't said NO more that you hate yourself. Like I said, learn to love yourself to the max of your existence.
Hang in there
A rough few days full of dysphoria , Dissociation, dealing with hate messages, etc trying more and more to be myself and people just stomp down on me.
If you dont' know what LGBTQ is all about read up on it tons of resources. Hell I Have a bunch of them. I'm a fucking woman. end of story.
BIG NONO Don't ever misgender me. One way ticket to me being pissed off. If you had nothing constructive to say you shouldn't have said anything at all. I'm fucking hot now 100 million times hotter I'll show what I want my body my choice not for you to say what i can and cannot do. If this is how you are going to be unfriend me forget you knew me. I don't need more dysphoria to add to my trauma bucket
FOr some stuff i guess lol
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