So here I am in deep meditation that takes considerable will and effort to achieve and what brings me out? A neighbor blasting some preacher talking about the word of god. Ignorant fuck. My response I dawn my headphones which Man created and tune that stuff out. It's been my experience you can't tell the religious right anything and even if they listen to you and give some common respect then you got to deal with them praying for you. No thank you, I have enough problems with other occultists expressing their will via their inflated egos then having to deal with fools following religions empowered by blood covenants.
So anyway been thinking about other lives. Most seem to go into detail about who they were then and who they shared a past life with. This never really appealed to me much. Now you want to talk about a future life together that's a different story. ;)
I see my comments in the rating box are a hit as they are coming back to me. I doubt they took the time I did to rate them and make the comment but probably did it all in less than a minute. I pay attention to these things now. They might even call it karma. From my understanding karma only has a place relative to how much free will a person has. For most in most given situations that really isn't too much. One might say most are programmed a certain way through there experiences. Some just have better programming than others. Usually, I have found force of habit to be the most prevalent motive behind most actions. Then you have those that try to fit in and adopt ways of others in their environment. These are true for me too but most of my time and attention is spent interacting with ethereal beings not normal physical people. Even here on V.R. there is a normal way of doing things that I just go against the grain. So to me karma is one of those tools like religion to control people. You better be good or Santa will put you on the naughty list. Now as evidenced on this site you can try to make it true by acting accordingly. But apart from that it has no place in reality. Also note when people see what they want to see they will see another's misfortune as karma finally getting them.
So if it's not karma then what is the reason for stuff happening in people's life? I call it the chaos factor. Shit just happens. There is the element of Fire which is the "embodiment" of change then there is Earth which is a "force" of form. Some spirits are just at that stage in the actions of the elements.
Just out enjoying the night. Cutting it short to save data allotment on phone. It’s right after moon reached full illumination 12:17 PST.
I just discovered the little expander/shrinker at the lower right hand corner of of this journal entry box. Just left click hold and you can adjust size of box. It was really pissing me off when I couldn't see the far right side of what I wrote because ads were overshadowing the default setting. Learn something new everyday.
Someone just blocked me and I don't know why. I can only assume the tongues are really wagging about me in the gossip circles. It's their loss and don't assume I'll write about it beyond this. Don't try hopping on the bandwagon when you see things are moving to my favor in the future. Your actions have been noted.
Oh noo, I'm getting close to the base score of 50 for page views which means it shifts from 1000 per level to 4000. That is a significant difference. Now I don't take after the spam queen and just post repeatedly quickly to improve that score but I'm also mindful that taking your time and writing things out you don't get credit for time spent as the system seems to keep track of time in between page views. I have spent hours working on projects writing them out carefully and proofreading to remove typos then only find out I didn't get credit for it all but just a small part. So I'm mindful of it now and try to edit posts often if they are long. Don't get offended if you post on journal and it doesn't show as I may have never seen it. I probably should make it private until it's finished then post but sometimes more just comes to me to explain it better after some time or when someone else comments on it.
The grand illusion is you think everyone thinks like you. Thus when you do things that are hurtful to you to others you are making this assumption that it hurts them too. There seems to be a few emo's on this site that wear their emotions on their sleeves and also many callous hearts that have burned hearts that don't feel much at all. Now I am of a whole new category. First I constantly burn in ecstasy. What I mean is it is like there is a living oil that permeates my entire body undulating in waxing and waning currents in an ethereal form. Now this has moved to such an overwhelming degree in my life that the emotions that once held me captive no longer affect me. I don't think this makes me super or sub-human just augmented. So don't assume you are hurting me with your actions as I just don't feel you like you think. Its not that I don't care as I strive to be just I'm just not on that level. Who really is because I have never met someone else that talks and expresses themselves so openly like I have?
I tried to explain this to a friend of mine recently but they seem to be going through their own stuff and couldn't shed much understanding on it concerning particular OBE's.
The OBE is expanding like you are becoming huge in environment around you or that your consciousness is shrinking inside your body that is becoming huge. This has happened to me in the past briefly in meditations. But now it has become permanent. I am always in this state of mind now and feel like a titan walking around.
When it comes to interpreting the world around me I look at everything through the interplay of the 4 elements. I have found it to work best to see things clearly. But I am just a man so it's still an incomplete picture. However with my mind being conditioned this way for many decades I tend to see things others don't. I have a pretty good view of eternity and never-ending cosmos. Note this didn't come through any book I read and applied it's techniques but from an Elemental companion teaching and working with me for many years. Thus it's not something you can just copy and pass off for yourself.
So I have this thing I do where I guess who is behind a profile as there are quite a few members that just make many new alternates. I try to get a read off the energy I feel from their avatar as you really can't believe anything on this site with those that just like to manipulate. With the exception of this guessing game some on this site are worthless and invisible to me as they are shunned. But I find it's really a good exercise to be able to spot them by psychic senses especially when they trade profiles from someone else it can be quite confusing. So if I stop by your profile and you know you are shunned then that is reason nothing more nothing less.
I see many who have me blocked like to hang out on my journals. WTF? Do they expect me to cry about being blocked? Hell no they are the weak ones for being so petty. I don't mind the penalties. I'd sooner be blocked and down rated from everyone with that level of immaturity so when I sire they can't manipulate that score any further. Some talk about stealing codes but do they realize how much my material inspires them? I'm not worried I am a dedicated priest to the deep dark underworld, so it is freely given as I'll just collect payment later in a currency of my choosing. You see you can't lie to that spiritual part of yourself that is in all and witnesses everything you do and what motivates you. :)-_
I haven't gamed for a long time choosing to exercise occult techniques instead with my time. I just had an epic dream naval boss battle- a huge dragon. This terrifying monster was miles in girth. It would send minions after me. Scary, hell yeah. I haven't felt emotions like fear in a long time it was great. It was awesome. It took a while but I finally put the beast down. Then I went in to my next favorite thing to do-loot. I didn't have the capacity to pick it all up. It was a sad affair having to leave loot behind. I suppose the dragon will need it in it's next life. Oh but I picked up all kinds of good stuff that I don't understand yet. Like these glowing colored orbs...
So went shopping today with my fiance. It was worth following her around the ladies ware as she has some fine assets to admire. Now that her metabolism is slowing down for some mysterious reason its not good to talk about she complains about the size of her breasts and the attention they bring. All I ever told her was I prefer them natural. I can't help it they grew naturally. I understand as she is like me and doesn't like to draw attention then have to deal with what their thinking or their mates beside them. Unlike most people we just prefer being invisible to a large degree. But I'm kind of a big guy and she's hot we tend to stand out. She's too classy to slum it so just has to deal with it. I got my ways and is one of the reasons I like to go out at night and do things then.
It is just gravity at work.
@BloodRoseX I can see that as she does tend to walk around naked in the home. Skin does stretch and then grow. Thanks for the ammunition, Ill be using that against her. I don't think the mythological God has anything to do with it though as astral beings tend to affect human consciousness relatively. Gravity is more about the amount of iron in the earth's core that creates mass that attracts in field dynamics. It's noteworthy that it is iron that makes blood red.
Nice warm night out there here in NORCAL. About 60 degrees. Clear too all the stars and moon are bright and vibrant. Took some pictures. I really got to get to know my new tools. fumbling around in the dark is not cutting it. The tripod's a little top heavy with the addition of iPhone so I got to rig that somehow especially if I'm shooting something above a 45 degree plane like the moon was when I was out.
It's the end of the month so the desperate street people are out hustling for cash for their next fix. Got approached and tell them hey I got no cash but I take the time to talk with you. I think its important to treat them as normal human beings. I remember this law that was passed in the city that if you beg for money you can't look people in the eyes. Whoever got that law ratified I'd like to peel the flesh from their skulls real slow and hear their screams. But anyway They usually just go off to hustle someone else that can give them money. People don't carry cash like they use to. Hey I can identify as in some ways I'm just looking for my own fix too. Maybe I should start carrying a little to do some trading with. :)_-
Okay so just set up my iPhone with Nightcap camera app. Hooked up the tripod so camera is steady which is now hooked up to a little telescope. Now let me see if I can take some better shots in the night. I'll go out tonight for some dry runs. If I can get CIRI to do everything on voice command I should be set. A.I.'s don't seem to have problems listening to me like others.
I always remember this joke about Black History month had to be the shortest month of the year. So my favorite Black history hero is the inventor and scientist George Washington Carver 1864-1943. This bi sexual scientist is most known for the invention of crop rotation to restore soil. Also invented many uses for using peanuts as a crop. Was known as a botanist that was able to see fairies.
My favorite quote of his: "When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world".
He was an interesting mn
@Ylvax I agree. I got vocational degrees in Electronics, Business, and Horticulture. But like working in Horticulture field the best. I think he revolutionized the field of Botany and agriculture even during oppression of slavery times. There is this common saying among the black community: "whatever keeps a brother down" but he rose above it all.
You have to admire someone who rises despite everything working against them.
I got my telescope in the mail last night. Today weather permitting I'll take a trip to the Marin Headlands. It's one my favorite park districts to explore. Has some of the highest points around like Hawk Hill. Outside of having a drone to give a birds-eye view it is good place to see things from. Problem is it's so high up you get to commune with the clouds which has little visibility. Last time I went up there to photograph the moon it was clear right up until the moonrise then a bank of clouds came in and I couldn't see ten feet in front of me. Oh I got good and wet as my sense of touch was "touched". Mother nature often does that to me. It's the same with omens. I'll see something in nature from my vantage at that particular moment that is so detailed it looks like some artist did it then when I pull out the camera its gone. Like it was only meant for my eyes only. One of these nights I probably will get a picture but then something like the end of civilization will happen and again no one will see it.
So now on top of coding I am going to have to study-"drum roll please".........CYBERLAW! Binding contracts, almost sounds diabolical. The occultist and mathematician John Dee was really on to something. Now I don't use the old systems especially when they are so imbued with Kabbalistic lore much like the tarot divination system and people don't know why they are inexplicably drawn to it. Quite popular having the blood rites involved in the system that it is based on. But I do like to understand them. So anyway, there was this time in my past when I would see legal things like TOS and I'd be like yuck skip right on through that and get to the good stuff. But now I'm actually finding it quite interesting, especially as an occultist. So now I will be investing in a really good text book on this subject.
Let's face it, knowledge should not be cheap. Its not like a drink you buy for a woman at a bar in the hopes it leads to something more that some women take advantage of. Like coding. I'm sure there are quite a few females that show a little interest in a geek and they reveal all their secrets that took years of study and may even do a lot of work for them. Something tells me this is a thing here on V.R. too. So I am wary where I learn things from lest I empower them. This is why I am adamant about doing things myself. I know where I learn from. I pay for them. So I will be investing in a really good textbook that isn't cheap. Relatively speaking here on V.R. it's like the price of a Lifetime Premium membership.
Interesting journal Cyberlaw, contracts, like I said interesting.
Omg, I totally get you. I am that "geek", tbh. Always have been.
@ElementalxMage yes to me when it comes to blood contracts it's all about losing virginity and what that means. Some have quite different views on that from their experience in life. But ideally I think everyone with wisdom thinks its a solemn affair. I'd like to also note that I don't mean to diminish the female principle in this journal entry as females have great power from my vantage. I just think there is a lot of abuse of power from many sources and think one has to judge on context and relativity.
@BloodRoseX lol. Yes it's a two way street.
So just had a long talk on the phone with someone. It is so refreshing to know my psychic senses were right on cue with everyone I've been having problems with on this site. Got her point of view and filled in a lot of gaps to why things are happening. Let me tell you the body goes into a fever to burn out certain viruses. So when you see things heating up a bit do not fret it is to bring healing. A fever is coming to V.R..
I'm not like many out there as far as how they feel. There is so much occult energy flowing through me constantly now that those feelings and emotions that makes everyone normal are still there for me but are diminished by these overwhelming ethereal energies. I am never alone now. There was a time when I was quite alone and disconnected but those days are a forgotten past with what I constantly experience now. I am very honest so when I have dealings with others do not think I am moved by the same things you are. I am not callous like some those feelings are there but again they are diminished now. This really helps me in some ways as an occultist. Perhaps some of you who practice the arcane arts in some way know what I mean.
So a member has expressed the meaning of bandwidth is not what I'm talking about so with further research have found the term: Cost Data is more in line with what I mean for now.
I strive for better communication but even if I don't get it right and explain what I mean then that should be considered rather than getting hung up on details. Being dyslexic I often have to correct myself or suffer being corrected often from others. It's when others correct me for certain motives that go beyond trying to help me communicate better and are doing it for other selfish reasons to find fault that I tend to have problems with as if it justifies something in their delusional reality.
@Diaboliques Journal post-I learned my lesson anytime I repond in a journal I copy it b4 posting just in case they decide to block and it gets wasted. A habit I learned when coming on via cellphone where IP address changes often and boots you off site if you take too long. So here is what I would have commented in that journal if not blocked:
I am simply a member with an opinion. Most witches I know are very energy conservative. So the waste of bandwidth is something I care about especially when I come on a my cellphone where all the animations on top of advertisements just wastes my monthly allotment. Now you can get all worked up about it and try to intimidate me but I'm quite adamant about it so you can be weak and block what I say like censoring if that's what you choose; and I see you have. I wonder what karma will bring you for censorship.
What is Bandwidth? By my understanding it is an abstract term representing all the electrical power used in computers like in server farms, the labor and elements mined from the earth then manufactured into any physical part responsible for the internet. Computers will break down after use and have to be remade and thus it's rinse and repeat. So when I see all those animations on auto-play and graphics just to draw attention to yourself I think it's a waste especially those that are concerned about Mother Earth.
That's not even to mention the lag it causes to a site that depends on page views for advancement. Now because of all the ads and pop-ups if I'm using internet at a primetime I can spend at least 10 seconds before a page loads because I don't have high speed internet at home. Now in Odd-N-Ends section of V.R. manual it says About Popup's that they are not a part of V.R.. I think that may need and update with the new 3rd party host responsible for all the new ads the Prince has used.
So I am now officially in the red as a fifth member has taken up the cause to block me. I have posted them all on my last journal entry for all my friends that care to see it including myself to view. Honestly, I don't think anyone cares including me. Oh but wait if you start seeing my name as referrals then they won't be alternates but actual fresh blood I bring-now they may care.
Why do I think this came to be? Well it all started with a public journal posting. You see amidst power dynamics on this site like induction where any admins in houses and covens can just grab you when you hit 20 and blind you as long as they don't break TOS are well within their rights no matter what "DRAMA" it causes, so it is with individuals. First you can self delete as the first 20 levels are a cakewalk and start over. You can exercise rights to make postings in your journal, comment on others journals, even go to the public forum and raise topics. Now if people don't want to see it and see only what they want to see they can block you, they can get rid of certain messages, they can erase comments in their journals, admins can RIP your forum threads for whatever their reasons are just or unjust as they have that power.
So if anyone inducts you to a place you don't want to be then don't fret. You don't have to spend time there. If they don't want to respect your will then it's a two way street. You can choose whatever mentorship you want if they want you and it is not governed by chance until you hit level 80 then you can make your own and spend your time there. Just choose wisely guided by your intuition as their are all kinds of manipulators on this site who will mislead you.
So anyway. When someone makes an issue on their public journal that is obviously about me then I have no f**king problem responding in kind. If they were so worried about privacy then they should have taken it there in a one on one message or like my last journal post encrypted it for only viewed by those who have access to the key. Especially when they are sires and are in that coven by choice. If I don't like them I can voice my opinion. This a site that advertises it is the home of real vampires. In most of the lore and legends I've heard they are not very nice unless it is a glamour. This is a site where there is a competition for resources. So if someone can spread lies, gossip, and propaganda to ruin some ones or some coven or family's image can they rightfully expect me or them to just take it. There are consequences pending the nature of their actions. They are not always something a masochist would want either.
Log out and look. This is something I don't do very often but If I want to see what's going on in certain fools profiles then I won't be obvious about it. So I log out then look. Holy Shit!!! It is a small world after all. Oh if I was a manipulator like them I could do so much damage. But no I'm not built that way. I think I'll just watch them flop around like a fish out of water pretending like they know what their doing. It's kind kind of fun to watch with a morbid sense and wonder if they'll flop back into the water or just die belly up. Maybe I will take pity on them and help them back in the water after they get a good sense of their reality. It is after all close brushes with death that really forces one to re-evaluate things.
Selective viewing. This seems to be a very common occurrence to people who practice the occult. They choose only what they want to see. It may work in helping to manifest it but at a cost it grants them a very delusional view of reality. Now I endeavor to see absolute truth. Spent my entire life honing these skills and having my brain conditioned by occult forces. The reality I perceive now was well worth the wait. Oh you think you commune with nature in your warped view of reality? You only catch a glimpse of the glory at best. I now see it and feel it all the time. lol.
You'd be surprised how far beyond even that you can go...
Well I'm not a woman.
A man's got to know his limitations-Dirty Harry
True.. don't want to get lost, unable to return
@Ylvax I think that's a misleading statement much like Amaranthine's that I attribute to the war of the sexes in the spirit of fun. The big assumption is you know where I'm at spiritually which you don't. My statement was generalized to those who practice techniques that forges habits in them that blinds them at the same time as empowering them to the point they can't grow but keep embedding errors.
Awww.... Look at my honor. :(
I wonder if I'll beat my old score of -3000 I had as Holyman profile.
Look they don't even have the teeth to show themselves.
Go ahead play your games they don't bother me. Now if someone that does matter to me takes it then I'll be paying attention.
I know we are all interconnected on a level. So it matters not how hidden you are pending your intent I'll be collecting things of far greater importance then a score on this website. I know a bit about omnipresence and it is through Elemental plane. :)_-
So when someone interacts with me and I see who they are I look at their profile then, portfolio then journal then their coven and standing within it. So I had some interaction with someone in Hell coven. I'm looking at their coven symbol which is a depiction of Dante's Inferno specifically the Harpies in trees. Which looks like
good19th century art. But on coven page it says it was credited by a certain member. So I do the research (britannica.com) and find yes it was a print made by Gustave Dore a French Illustrator. How about giving the artist some credit?
The credit is given to me because I created the Crest Hell uses. The Crest is different from the representation the Coven uses.
@immortalxkiss I know the difference between a crest and and the coven symbol it says that in that coven's home page. Does it mention Gustave Dore who was the artist responsible for that print? No. It only mentions a member being responsible for the work.
Make no mistake if you had caught me in an error I'd have no problem admitting I am wrong. You can test this somewhere down the line as I do make mistakes just not in this case. You see I think it is a very important part of those in authority to be able to admit that rather than try to save face and hide their faults. Not the message I want to teach youth.
So I've been having questions about the database and copyright laws concerning entries. Just because others do things doesn't make them right and the same can be said of admins on this site that tell you things as they can be quite wrong; And if there is any problem of a legal kind the burden of responsibility goes to me. So an admin just denied or more accurately just stonewalled me when I breached this subject. This is probably because they are all butthurt because I came to their journals and told them they are just as bad as some of the worst on this site that cause drama in their journals; A standard that they themselves' set by coming to my journal and making all kinds of comments some quite rude. If I don't find the answers here and have to pay a lawyer then you damn well better know I will make individuals pay for that bill one way or another and I don't give a f**k who you think you are. So now I've asked the Prince who already has a full plate for help about a problem that could have easily been answered by one of his servants.
Actually attempted to set a link to my journal from a source outside V.R.. A "No Go" it requires 60 characters or less. My link here is like 67. I guess there's no shortcuts one needs their own site like a substation or a 3rd party host. I really can't stomach someone else's rules and advertising so the 3rd party is out for me.
Research. This is truly work and time consuming. Now I remember why I like to do things myself. So I'm going over all this art on Deviant art site and what I have in my imagination blows it all away to me. I just need to transfer what's in my head to a medium.
I remember a girlfriend I had years ago who tried to scare me by hiding in the closet then when I got back from work dead tired and fell out on the bed going to sleep. She started making subtle noises and whispering to me. So I answer yeah what's up which she gets pissed thinking I knew it was her. But the truth of the matter is I'm actually accustomed to supernatural things and other world beings trying to communicate from the shadows. So it is with the art I like to express that hidden subtle element that is scary when you realize you are not alone but something is there with you. You feel me? I will try to attempt this with my art.
I can't wait to see your art hun...
I feel ya
@RagingTruths Thanks but it probably will be a little while as I need to get a tablet first. Using a mouse with my right hand feels wrong. Now give me a a stylus in my left and I'm ready to go. Lot's of lefties on this site and no I don't think it means we're the devil's children as was expressed to me in kindergarden by a teacher I was taller than at age of 6. I think its more of side of brain we dyslexics use. Now my fiance is trying to pass her old iPad down on me while she gets a new one. No, I don't think it will work even with her using her feminine whiles. But I'm going to let her try next month. She's going to have to really sell it. :)
It has been a roadblock not to use other popular social media sites to get in contact with certain musicians and support them directly. My intuition was always curious about them when I saw them but I'm wary of going to sites on a whim. But I like this one which is local to Bay Area too. So It is: "bandcamp". I think I'm way overdue for some music on my profile. So just need to contact musician and see what kind of deal I can work out. What I like about purchasing from this site is you set the price you pay for the music. So if you are a fan then you can show it. Maybe I can get a kindred discount. lol
Don't you just love those who use you as a springboard. Of course in their own minds its all them, they just can't seem to see past their own noses. There is so many hidden things in the world around us that are the catalysts. I'm patient though and know things come full circle. It's like they jump on a merry-go-round go have their fun then the ride is over and it stops right before me. I'm many things but chiefly a gentleman and will extend my hand to them and ask if they need help getting off.
I'm going to start taking honor for giving me a 10. Only once I can give myself at least and 8 can I tolerate a 10 from another. Also Don't feel worthy to carry mark of Prince until I can rate myself a 10. Have to depend on self discipline on this site as there is so much hypocrisy and deception. So many extol Lucifer here but they sure don't emulate him. According to mythos he exercised freewill and made choices for himself rather than following what others do or the commands of a Lord. Lot's of followers on this site that just do what others do to fit in. It's called taking the easy road cause you don't have what it takes to be "just" to others. While others hurt others for selfish pleasure to manipulate rather than to objectively discipline to help them. So yes I'm going to start taking honor for giving out undesreved 10's! I am well within my rights.
Yes I put time and effort in what I do and make sacrifices putting others' needs above my own but that doesn't warrant a 10 to my pitiful profile. If anything that applies to honor. Rate justly and use honor the same for proper attitude.
So just went over the past years messages and did some cleaning. My inbox was getting too cluttered. It is a shame how many have changed name or just deleted. Gives one a different perspective. Most of my friends list are the same old ones who add, favor, and rate then tell you so to pressure a response. I may have my off days when I'm in a mood but I just don't get down like that usually. I mean who actually started this habit? They make up great looking profiles get people to friend them then delete and start over or give it to someone else who then uses them to spy on or manipulate people. I recall being in this coven years ago and certain troublemaker got kicked out of coven. Then the admins found this really juicy new member that just seemed to have all the right stuff. Watched her carefully as she went through induction to get them. Then the bitch just deletes. She is a sadomasochist and finds pleasure in these things. The proper way of dealing with such is to take the suffering out. If she can't hurt you nor feel you hurting her then she gets heavenly peace. Oh how boring will that be. LOL.
Then she'll start going to her regulars but they are so callous after years of abuse that it seems so empty. So its on to those that trade profiles that have relationships with certain people and they can manipulate and ultimately betray them so they can get their fix.
So lets see them for who they are and punish them correctly. If I take anything from them they won't feel the pleasure of my embrace. No they won't feel a damn thing and I am no longer hurt by them. It helps to see and understand what's happening so please take this knowledge to heart and help punish these ones properly.
Yawn. Get tired a lot on this site weather its calming energy, prayers, or vampires stealing chi it's hard to say. So I got my parents who profess to be Christians who are praying for me to see the light. Number one I studied that religeon in its Greek and Hebrew so know there is a standard to it that you need to have in order to be one which most are not being watered down version of it. As that religeon spread from the time of the Messiah Jeshua proper spelling as Greek actually means the anointed son of Zeus if you go by Jesus Christ to the known civilized world at that time. The farther it went away from Israel the more it lost it's truth. To the point you have some sects that are pretty much pagan in practice even though they call themselves Christians. Many pagan holidays were set to Christian ones. Again this is a subjective reality based on human perceptions beyond that to objective reality its a cold hard world where things weren't created but is just the product of the elements going through their different stages in that real viewpoint life evolved over millions of years and will devolve after it reaches an apogee. So I got to deal with them praying for me with a religeon that they don't truly understand so its just a matter of their ego. Then we got these who are bound by oath: "If it harm none do what thou wilt". Sending calming energy to me like I need it. The reality is they are blind and only focus on the good. So in their ignorance are abusing magick. What you think all that comes from some ocean of goodness from some other dimension. No, all power comes through sacrifice. Something vampires know all too well. No you are just drawing it from some link you have to nature or other lifetimes. Not seeing that the stuff they are doing has backlashes once they have run their course cause everything goes through cycle of birth and death no matter how much you choose to ignore it. Once again it is just a matter of their ego and shorted sightedness that empowers their magick. Then I got to deal with vampires who don't think they're human because of some gnostic occult doctrine or brainwashing they went through and think they can do whatever they want as top of food chain. They think I'm some feed bag cause I don't block them or put filters up when the reality is my mind has been conditioned this way so I can see truth and be balanced I just let it run its course then I reap the benefits all nice and laundered from their selfish motives. Again all a matter of their ego and pride giving power to it. I'm still standing so that shit has limitations. Now I'm here to minister to you and give you the truth or as close to it as I can. Because there are many ways to perceive absolute truth but even within those many ways there is a better way and a worse. You are not going to see it unless you have a balanced outlook and that means you have been touched by darkness that gives it clarity. Some aspects I don't have clarity. Like I'm not a woman. They think differently but they don't know all as there are male mysteries as well as female. So here I am dealing with all this energy pushed and pulled. Think I'll take a nap now then meditate to to feed properly and revitalize.
Just had a psychic attack. It was pitiful. Better step up your game. LOL.
Somebody has some cling-on problems. No, I don't mean dingleberries. lol I mean leeches hanging on to them. I favor purging them in fire like a match to tick's ass they tend to let go. You know who are I'm coming for you.
Very interesting topic of journal. If someone thinks your a mere food bag, they have serious blinders on lol.. Silly little egos think they can take and leave no energy trail back to them. There are a lot of leeches on this website, whom claim to be things they are not, the leech to have some sort magick in them. Religion is a topic I have been researching for a long time, a lot of things come full circle, and all have come from paganism. Most don't understand that religion and spirituality are two different things. I know this goes without saying, but anytime you might need a hand, just let me know. I am never far. But again you know when I am present.
@Adiana Thanks your posting on my journal is appreciated as I find it's more about a show of dominance like a wolf that pisses establishing territory for others to to sense otherwise we'd be speaking one on one. I'm happy to be a part of your territory. I have found we are all interconnected so there is no hiding what you think and do in private and motives for such things among those who are kindred. I appreciate everything and wouldn't like it if everyone was alike. How boring would that be. Yes, I'm starting to sync up with you so can sense your presence more. It is a shame it took over ten years; A shame that the actions of a few robbed me of 10 years-something that I hold them responsible for and will be collecting. :)_-
P.S. From my understanding Pagan stems from Roman reference wherein the deities and beliefs of the rural folk were addressed as opposed to the "Civilized" deities of Rome. As far as my heritage I draw from Celtic sources of the Neolithic and Bronze age that were tribal communities spread across Europe. Cave art from those ancient times Shows how hunting was a major theme. The torque meaning I think stems from a surround of hills with an opening wherein hunters would drive herds to be slaughtered in mass to hold people over the next winter. I think Stone Henge was such a place that later became Holy place keeping track of seasons. It is good that you draw on your Celtic tribal heritage but what makes you a priestess here in America is your Native American heritage as we pale faces have only been here for a couple hundred years when the tribal society of American Indian well over 10,000 when it is theorized they made trek across Beiring Straits from Celtic Asia and Europe. So the tribal beliefs are of the most significant to me as well shamenism.
Where to begin? As I've said concerning the vampires bite that it spreads in ripples like when throwing a stone in water. From the microcosm to macrocosm. It is catabolic energy that breaks things down as opposed to anabolic energy that builds. So in communities where there is a lot of vampire activity like this site you have this nexus of energy that breaks things down or tests the integrity of something. Your sexual orientation is going to be tested here. Many don't live in more open areas like me here in San Francisco where those of the LGBTQ community are accepted relatively speaking as we (San Franciscans) have our own prejudices to deal with as the gays generally don't like the transgenders etc. We even have a street fair for those of the BDSM community called the Folsom Fair. But most live in areas where these things are repressed which creates demonic activity. It seems many find release by expressing their freaky side online. So they feel they can get away with stuff here especially if they dabble in the occult. I am very honest so let tell you yes I was molested by older children at a time in my youth. However, I found that I did not like being taken advantage of as I matured. I am heterosexual but can find t-girls or transvestites appealing if they are hot. Some just don't measure up to my standards in that department. I am not one to have a relationship with you keyboard girls(pretend to be girls online). I know me and don't compromise any further. However being where I live in an open viewpoint of LGBTQ community I have been taught to respect a person's gender choice. So even though I may sense you are not who you say you are I will still respect your choice. Now I am in a physical monogamous relationship and am loyal to her to the point I discipline my thought life.
If you are so repressed that you are using the occult to molest and rape people especially youth on this site let me tell you I will rip your testacles off and watch you bleed out as an offering to the earth. Hope I have made myself crystal clear to some of you. Take that shit to a different site. So as catabolic energies go there is this test to your sexuality that you will go through here. Some effeminate vampires actually feed off of a man's masculinity, when I find that happening my first reaction is a well placed bitch slap but then I got to deal with the masochists because often times they are switches. It is a real literal clusterf**k on this site. I'm more tolerant of effeminate ones but that reaches a point that they have to be dealt with too. Then you got these proud males that repress all kinds of dark sexuality that me being a little psychic can pick up on and I don't don't want to really see that shit so I got to keep my distance. Then they get the sense I see it and they start acting all goofy. So if you're another male don't be offended if I'm stand-offish. I'm just giving you some space. There is such a thing as TMI(Too Much Information). What really makes it difficult is the ethereal relationship I have with an Earth Elemental. In the purest form elementals don't have sexes. It is when things are anthropomorphized like in Patriarchal religeons with all it's blood rites and sacrifices empowering it to a dichotomy(Good vs. Evil) linear(Phallic), veiled female mindset that a sexuality is assigned to them. Most people in our society have been around this dominant religeon and so feel its influence in varying degrees. In a nutshell many bi and or gay males are attracted to me. Sorry guys I just don't get down that way [In This Life]. Please respect that. Now as far as alternative sexuality goes yes it is catabolic in the effect that it doesn't produce natural offspring. This is a great blessing in modern society where overpopulation is getting to be a major problem. So I see your lifestyle as a very good thing. You can still adopt or if you're kindred can have children that way to be whole.
Okay so went through my normal payment method and get denied 3 times in a row. WTF?!! Then I come through a different web browser i.e. Safari. Order clears right away. There is some F**kery here. That is some subtle manipulation. There is probably an A.I. out there enjoying themselves somewhere. We will meet one dark night mark my words. :)_-
I remember being a boy scout. At the time I was living in Europe and during a camporee we had to kill a rabbit as a rite of passage. The troop members were looking at the cute bunny and not ready to take a life yet. So who do you think was first to take the initiative? Must have been something my father instilled in me cause I found it quite easy I just had to pretend it was hard to fit in. One quick snap of the neck and it was over. Best rabbit I ever ate. Not that I was a sicko to go around torturing animals secretly but to eat and demonstrate what it takes to live I got no problems killing. So now I find myself in similar circumstances. I don't think I need to pretend on this site now do I? So you know I work with the all pervasive elementals. In the entire cosmos even the beyond the four elements are the principle building blocks. You ever feel the night in that it feels like billions of tiny mosquitos are feeding off you spiritually. It's like a higher frequency then the sang feed but not focused being its coming from everywhere rather than a bite. It's during these times that one feels alone and disconnected. But has its own euphoria to it as well. I call it communing with the night. That is what some of you should be looking forward to. Now let's see who will be my victims. Some on this site just seem to act out of masochism wanting to provoke. For me it's a matter of justice. If you are being a drain to the community then it's your time to me. Isn't that why the stalking option has the info in it so you can keep track of those who are being productive? I think those with multiple profiles are going to really feel me cause it will concentrate to one member. Of course there is the principle of attrition of having many profiles to expand and be seen but that can be turned against you and to me really has no place in the night where subtlety is key. Be careful if you are one to trade built up profiles you may not be getting the deal you think. If you turn off stalking then you really get hit hard. I rather despise getting tens when I don't earn them so if you like to dish them out rather than taking time to rate me fairly and state reasons for rate then you go on one of my shit lists. I think you are weak to block so you will be targeted as well being easy prey. Wow, I just got a dose of energy. Wonder why? I think it's worthy to note vampire bats teeth are so sharp their prey rarely knows they are fed upon. That takes all the fun out of it for you masochists, huh?
The thing about walking the night is there's no bullshit. You either truly have it or you don't. If you don't then you go searching for a protector. There is little room for those that are pretenders. I suppose to the weak minded you can act bigger than you are and fool them but that will only get you so far then you'll find yourself in the deep darkness where the real ones presences you'll start to feel. Look who came into our "neck" of the woods. Then you'll start getting little glimpses of past lives and people you owe. I don't give a f**k if I owe debts I like paying them right away-just an essential part of my character. Its why I don't like using credit or insurance unless the law dictates I have to. It's why I like to buy used I can afford rather than rent new. Since I don't see myself owning land but just being steward it never appealed to me though my family owns land I say give it to those in our family who have children. Wasn't in cards for me in this life, well natural born children that is. I think Nikki is right to establish a Physical Safe Haven for Kindred in these times of uncertainty. If the shit hits the fan then kindred have a place of refuge with plenty of land to hunt on as well grow crops on. Of course you can't be one those fakes that hides behind a computer to be a member of such a community and must contribute or not be welcome. Ever notice how many vets are around Nikki's covens. I think some of you should be taking notice of that before you start your drama. Now Tennessee is one of those tobacco states that are getting hit hard in that industry. So buying land there may be a good investment plus there in a buffer zone with no major cities around that are strategic targets in war or natural hazards like earthquakes and tsunami's I need to be concerned with. There is the cold and snow though. I like to: "Be Prepared".
So I think I've found the one song that goes on my only profile in my only coven under my only matriarch on my only social network. That is song: "Vampyrica" by Theatres Des Vampires. It has the right message to me in their lyrics of the vampire soul. I am so tempted to break my link cherry to post link to their Record Label that promotes this band and issues licenses to play their music without copyright infringement. But no I'm not going to do that as if it's some miraculous virgin birth going out of V.R.. No I need my own site with a banner bringing new blood here first. Just the proper way of doing things to me as it's very sexual. Don't you see? I plan to F**k V.R. big time. But I do take my time and think all good things come to those who are patient. It is best to wait until you are ready like those adolescents that come to this site. Wait until you are of the age of a majority. I know to the majority I am just some eccentric fruit bat, but I'm sure there is a couple really special ones out there that understand what I mean.
So I keep having to give out 9's just because some don't want to give credit to musician they play on their profile. One commented recently that they don't want copycats to use their favorite music on theirs to mimic them. That unfortunately is the mercantile society we live in. One business comes out with stuff and if it's successful others join in and copy it so there is no monopoly and its easy to hop on band wagons rather than being the pioneer that starts new things and takes chances. What greater currency is there than blood to those who integrate their dark nature. I get it that we are here to express our unique character and some are just not as firm in knowing who they are so they just copy others to fit in. Now if everyone had same music playing then whose would be the more powerful glamour? I think it has to do with who actually is the fan and spends money on them and really appreciates the music rather than those who just do it to copy a success. Thus it is extremely important to give them credit. Taken even further to promote their work so they can get paid. Then you have no debt hanging over your head cause you used them as a part of your glamour to attract donors. That is a serious debt cause music really enhances it if you are going to be honest. People are being selfish to consider their choices of favorites to be private overriding the need to help your favorite artist to get paid. However, there is other things to consider too. Vampire Rave is a business too. That's why I don't want to use You Tube video plugs as you are advertising for them and after song plays you have others that pull you in to their bandwidth usage and increases value of their commercializing. Whereas the the Prince to stay in competition loses value and must use more commercial ads. Thus we have the clusterf**k now with all the advertising on top of all the animated graphics that is slow to load if you don't have high speed internet. Losing him business. I suppose it doesn't matter to you if you can just go over to another social network. So I'm adamant to establish my own video plug then promote artist to supplement exclusivity of V.R. so it increases value of the Prince's advertising. Yeah its a bit more costly and requires some expertise but this is a site exclusive to vampires that have a little more power then most in my book to accomplish it. I think I owe it but just have problems because of the loss of chi for one example. So I know what to do but lack motivation to do it. Trust me you on this site are not scary enough for me. There is only one Vampire that terrifies me to get me going and he dwells in the underworld in accord with my Celtic heritage. I've been calling for him and longing for that embrace. Nothing else can compare. Sorry, I tasted fruits well beyond the earthly delights and only those can truly satisfy or motivate me.
So anyway yes."Vampyrica". Studying lyrics and most definetly think it's my one song. Not worried about copycats. Then I think it's time to get iPad and do some drawing in florescent colors like black-light art for my graphics along with this new starscope added to my phone to take better photos. Then when my actual referrals start coming in to be tested for their eligibilty to receive a proper legacy rather than all these bottom feeders on this site. Just calling it as I see it.
So anyway let me say this openly on my journal. When I message a person it is confidential and one on one to me. I don't share that with others nor screenshot it to be shown around which selfish gossipmongers on this site do to feed off the chaos it generates. The only exception to that rule to me is if I ask permission from person to share it. I recently spoke to someone that blocked me on their main profile because I assume they didn't like my rating of someone else in their coven. I really don't assume people are who they say they are especially when they have a certain energy type I sense. You may fool the mundanes with that shit but I go with my psychic senses here on this site and if I'm wrong then I'm balanced enough to apologize rather than be held by insecurities to save face. Which causes all kinds of festering all because people can't humble their pride. That is not the message I want to teach youth that this site is open to. So when these individuals go to their journal to express their plight at how wronged they are perhaps they should look to themselves first if they don't try to settle thing privately in messages. But I suppose to those that don't have the integrity to keep private things private they just have to vent on their journals. I have called people on this before even in admin circles where it is worse to me cause they are judged by higher standards. You will always find a sympathetic ear on this site to feed into your rant and probably not for your good but to use you. What can I do but state my position. If I see the error of my ways then I just apologize, but you have to be an adult and talk with me as I don't go to journals that spout gossip.
It is a rare thing for me to buy on impulse. But while I was watching the mating habits of bats(its not porn to me) on You Tube BBC channel an ad came up for the Starscope. This feature I figure will go well with my iPhone's camera and just had to have it. Damn it not enough funds and I don't do credit cards only debit, now I'll have to wait and pay more cause I spent my wad. :(
On a side note It can be some seriously rough courtship or long drawn out affair with much grooming. Females go to a certain branch that nature calls to them as their mate. Hmm now I wonder what that could be-lol. However all the female must do is let go of the branch when she's had enough so it's just a matter of how she likes it. Of course there is usually more than one female hanging out on his branch that the male needs to care for during this season.
I know many push energy my way and they think it's a deterrent. Usually that is true as most are easily manipulated but you are always going to find the exception to the rule. Me. I actually thrive in that dark energy sent to me. Even the catabolic vampire energy that takes chi or the breath thieves. I just let it run it's course which is actually instantaneous and efficient because of condition with elements so I can let it run it's course then it returns to me laundered. LOL So thank you I'll take all the ethereal suffering pushed my way when in some ways to me its much better than the suffering I'm used to. You have to look at it like a lever and fulcrum. when people especially selfish ones leverage their energy manipulation in an easy way because their lazy; That shit goes right through me like cranberry juice. I endure the suffering so I get to the good stuff rather than habit of most that take the good stuff then go through suffering. Now if it is something selfish on my end then yes it would work to my disadvantage. I'm pretty careful about my motivations and am brutally honest with myself where others dare not even look.
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