10:07 Jun 09 2017
Times Read: 1,570
When I was in high school I joined a lot of online communities. MySpace, of course, as it was big back in the day, and a number of other ones. I met some people, made a few friends. There was one, I can't for the life of me remember the name or the concept, but I suppose it doesn't matter. However, that's where I met someone who, for a number of months meant the world to me.
His name was Joe. We talked constantly, on the phone until the wee hours of the morning, and on AIM. He lived in Oceanside, and was just someone I really needed at the time. A crush, a friend, a confidant. He knew my secrets, my wants and desires, everything. He was the closest friend I had at the time. I had always wanted to meet him in person, but, I was still only 17 and in high school, and he was God, I think 19 or 20, and living on his own down in Oceanside. It wasn't meant to be. But, we were still so close. I guess, as it happens with people you meet online, we drifted apart. I stopped using AIM and all the silly websites I had joined over the years. It's been 12 years.
I was cleaning out an old email account, the one I used to talk with Joe. I stumbled upon all those old messages. He used to send me songs, Atreyu. I had bought their CDs because listening to the songs had always reminded me of him... It's been years since I've heard their music. So, I listened to the songs, read the words, smiled at the memories. I sent him a message, a complete shot in the dark because I was almost certain I'd never get a response from him... But... I did. I am honestly still shocked about it. But, he remembered me. He remembered the way we used to be. He said he was going to see if he could hunt down the old emails we used to send so he could read them himself. I'm giddy. It's like I'm 17 all over again. I don't expect anything from this, just reaching out to an old friend. He must have a family by now, or at least a significant other. It doesn't matter. I don't want that. I just want things to be like they used to be with us. He was someone I could talk to, no worries of being judged, no holding back. Because, right now, I desperately need that. I want that friendship back, that closeness, the companionship.
But, for now, I'll take the responses and be happy with that. It's more than I expected, probably a hell of a lot more than I deserve. It makes me smile, it makes me remember easier, better times. And, for now, that's enough.
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