I had a pretty amazing weekend with Logan. I got out there around 1:30, I expected at least 2:30, but I drive fast and traffic wasn't at all bad for a Saturday afternoon. We watched a few episodes of the new season of Stranger Things before going out to the hookah lounge for a nice dinner and smoke. Well, no, first we went to a local dispensery that sells my Skywalker, because no place close to me does anymore, so I got two new cartridges of that, which should last me quite a bit. Then we went to the hookah lounge. I did want to head out to the beach, but for some stupid reason, every time I go out there, it's fucking overcast. So, we couldn't watch the sunset over the ocean. Maybe we can in two weeks. It shouldn't still be overcast in June. But, I like the hookah lounge. It's pretty cheap, as far as by the hour, so you get a lot for your buck. Plus, it gives us the opertunity to just talk. It's funny how insanely easy everything is with him. It's how I know he's the one. He can get me talking to the point where I don't shut up. And, anyone who's known me for any length of time can attest that unless I have something to say about a specific topic, getting me to talk openly is like pulling teeth, it's horribly difficult. But with him, it's so easy. Everything's easy. After the hookah lounge it was back to the house for the rest of Stranger Things. I'm really looking forward to part 2. Today we just stayed in bed and cuddled, watched a season of Miracle Workers, and talked. Didn't get out of bed until 5, when we went and got some dinner.
I'm happy. Legitimately happy with how my life is going. I work a rewarding job, I have my family, the kids, I have Logan. We're going on 6 months in June,and honestly, it doesn't even feel like that. It feels like he's just been a part of my life from the beginning. He's my home. I went though a lot of shit to get here, dated a lot of people who were totally wrong for me, put up with a lot of things I never should have put up with. Being with Logan is something so refreshing. It's not a perfect relationship, there's no such thing, but it's pretty damn close. He's who I was meant for. I have no doubts about that. The first time I talked to him, I knew.
So, yeah, it's been such a wonderful weekend. But now I'm gonna take a nice hot shower and spend some time with Quinn before we hop back on the phone.
Just got home for the day. It was a long day at work, but it ended on a high note. Kevin and Liz invited me and my mom out to dinner with them and the kids. So, that was a nice way to end the week. Tomorrow I'm off to spend the weekend with Logan, I couldn't get the Huntington Library tickets, but maybe we'll just go to the movies. Kevin and Liz went and saw the new Top Gun and they said it was good, even if there is no Danger Zone. So, that's an option. There's also the Bob's Burgers movie too. So, there are options. I'm exhausted, but it's a good exhausted. But it's time to get changed into comfy clothes and veg out until Logan gets home from visiting with his daughter.
Thank goodness it's Friday, because I just know today is just going to be one of those days.
Whilst talking to Cheshire...
Awww cunt for brains you really brag about a convo you setup him up but why don’t we talk about the damage you’ve caused I bet VR would love to know how many you have pushed to wanting to die. Trust me another convo will not happen again
Maybe you should let Matthew choose who he wants to have in his life. I talked to him, I said my piece, I owned up to my failings and my mistakes. We moved past it. Because he and I have been friends well before you came along. He's a grown man, he chose to talk to me. I didn't force it on him, I didn't make him do it. He wanted to. He could have easily said no. He could have easily hung up the phone or ignored my call. I care about him, I will always care about him. I fucked up a lot, I'm not denying that, but that is between he and I, considering it was our relationship. If he wants to talk to me, I don't see how your opinion should matter. He's an adult, he can make his own choices.
Nicole no one believes your half psycho bullshit not even him. Tell me for having these fake ass good intentions at heart which you don’t have one why would do this knowing full well it would cause problems for someone you pretend you care for. Right now I am taking him out of a mess you fucking create your heartless worthless cunt
Whatever, Cat. He was perfectly fine up until you made an issue. We were talking up until he said you read my journal. So that sounds more like you caused a scene and he had to react to make you happy. If that's how he wants to live his life, fine. If he wants you to dictate who he can and cannot be friends with, fine. I'll step out of the picture again. That's not a healthy relationship, and he told me things that make me seriously worry about him. But, whatever. Think what you will, demand that he never speak to me again. You do you.
Good go fuck up Logan god only knows it will be a matter of when cause you always fuck up anyone near you
You know what, no. I'm, not going to step aside until he tells me that's what he wants himself. You're not him, you don't get to speak for him. As I said, he's a grown man who can make his own decisions. If he doesn't want to be my friend, he can tell that to me directly.
you need to stay out of people's life's this isn't the first time she wanted to fuck with someone's mind by she I mean immortalxkiss shes just an attention whore while shes dating her one profile she tries to prob her self into someones life hey immortalxkiss did you ever tell the guy you talk about your whoring around yet?????? WHERE WAITNG FOR ANOTHER STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I meant her own person she brags about I guess this makes your whole family look bad immortalxkiss you make a peanut look better than you.
and id rather read the peanut gallery
Hey Julie, stay out of shit that doesn't concern you. You know nothing about this outside of secondhand information. Me having a friendship with someone I've known pretty much since I joined this website is not any of your fucking business. Thanks.
Also you did not known this person for since you joined this site just like you claimed War profile was not yours keep lying to me immortalxkiss and lets see how far you get with life because from my point of you look like a total jack ass right now by posting about people constantly you claim you are mature but clearly you keep showing other wise if you are truly mature and if someone tells you to leave there boyfriend alone maybe just maybe you should learn to fucking read for once in your god dam life
side note get the fuck out of everyone's life immortalxkiss no one likes you and stay the fuck out of it stop trying to mind fuck people this is why no girls cant bring there boyfriend to the site because your a little whore spreading your legs on to them begging them for attention than causing them to break up like you did me with my boyfriend on Vampire Rave for6 months
than you told my boyfriend to try and kill me by not allowing me to eat food go fuck your self!!
I also had to call the police on my boyfriend because ofg your stupid twit ass
I met Matthew a few months after I joined this site, so kindly shut the fuck up about things you know nothing about, Julie. As for you and Tony, I don't know what bullshit delusions you have, but considering I barely spoke to Tony save a few.messages where I told him to go spend some fucking time with you off of VR, I had no influence on your failure of a relationship. So what you two did to one another is purely on the two of you.
Nicole, you're finally finding happiness in your life. You're finally coming to a place where you deserve peace and acceptance from those around you. I haven't commented on a journal in years, but it is disgusting to see how people never change. It is disgusting to see how women attempt to bring down fellow women. I'm now the age you were when I first met you; you've become a beautiful person and you deserve a life away from all the hate bred on this site. Shame on Cat, and her gang of misfits to continue to play a million and two games after all these years gone by; what a waste of your own life. Please stop giving these people any more of your time, they deserve not a single second of fuss.
I hope you continue on your journey. I hope beautiful things come to you. I take joy in reading your journals the few times I log on to snoop around. (Hufflepuffs are just as neat as Ravenclaws btw
I think I'm going to look into getting tickets for the Huntington Library for Saturday for Logan and I. I've been wanting to go back for years now, and now that the construction in the Chinese Garden is done, I want to go check it out. With all the shit in the world right now, I just want to spend a day looking at pretty art and walking through serene gardens. Plus, I want to share my favorite places with him now that everything's pretty much fully opened again. So, I'll talk to him about it tonight and see what he thinks. It shouldn't be too terribly hot this weekend. And, if it is, we may just go hang out in Malibu, I've been wanting to go back to the Santa Monica Pier.
Hate, like love, is a strong emotion. You really have to be invested in a person to feel true hatred for them. The thing about VR, or the internet in general, is that I'm not invested in the majority of the people I encounter. You can't be. So, to say I hate anyone here is silly. For one, you don't know what I feel as you aren't me. Do I dislike people? Oh, for sure. Some very much so, but I don't actively hate any member here. I'm just not that invested. I simply do not care. If anything, I'm apathetic in regards to 99.99% of the member base. Apathy is a lack of interest or concern. And that pretty much sums up VR for me. I log in, see to my duties as an Admin, and then I log off. Maybe I'll write a journal. But for the most part, I'm hardly here. I work full-time, I have an active social life, I spend time with my family and my friends, my boyfriend. VR is not a priority to me. The members, once I log off, mean nothing to me. The few people I do like from here I have access to outside of VR. Even those I dislike, once I log off, they're out of mind. So, no, I don't hate people here. I actually don't hate anyone in my life because such an emotion is wasted on people. No one consumes my thoughts enough to warrent such a feeling.
As for forgiveness and holding grudges, sure. I've been known to hold on to things for too long. But, that was the old me. I am not that person, I haven't been that person for a long time now. Saying you took in my account in the hopes that I would come around and... Do what exactly? Say sorry? No. I stand by my words. There's mental handicaps and then there's pure laziness and an unwillingness to learn better. I have people in my family who are mentally handicapped, but even they try. You don't try. And I find the hypocrisy of your words worth commenting on. I don't need to be your friend. I don't want to be your friend. I've tried in the past, and every time you crossed a line. The profile in question, the profile you traded to your Coven to be nothing more than a prisoner, is gone. You had no other intentions for that profile. That was the sole reason you traded me over to you. I know that. You know that. You're just mad that I'm not playing your game. But, it's just easier to wash my hands of it and send it off into the void than it is to try and reason with you. Been there, done that, I'm over it. As for holding grudges, you're still holding some imagined slight against me. Some belief that I ruined your relationship with Tony. That I wanted to kill you. That's shit you've told me directly. I had nothing to do with your relationship ending, and I have never plotted to kill anyone. That's fucking insane. Own up to your own failings and stop blaming someone who had no influence on how you and Tony treated one another.
As for the War account. It belongs to Rachy, you fucking idiot. Never once has it ever been in my possession. Never once was it ever mine. Never once have I ever stated as such. I don't have "hidden accounts", I don't see a point to hide who I am. I explicitly state who I am on each of my accounts, and so long as you're not a complete fuckwit, you can pretty much tell in the way I write. Ask Cat if you don't want to believe me, she would know. Ask Saetan. Ask Rachy herself. Fuck, ask an Upper Admin of the IP for the profile has ever been the same as mine. They'll all tell you that the account isn't, nor ever was, mine.
This is the end of it. As far as I was concerned the matter was over the minute I deleted that account. I stopped thinking about it. But you keep bringing it up. You can't let it go. And I find that sad. To be so invested in me, to constantly feel the need to keep fighting. I'm not going to be removed from my positions, and I've been a member here for over 16 years, it's safe to say I'm not leaving. Get over it or don't. Just know that this is my last say on all of the bullshit. I'm done.
Dipshit, War was never, ever my account. Get your facts straight before popping off like the moron you are.
And, I haven't bothered anyone. The account is deleted. That's the end of it. But as usual YOU can't let things die.
Phone calls with old friends... It's like there wasn't even a gap in our friendship. I missed this.
Trevor invited me to Star Wars Celebration, which starts tomorrow and runs through Sunday, since he had an extra ticket (his tickets were for Friday and Saturday). But between work and it being a weekend I go out to see Logan, I had to decline. It hurt. I've wanted to go to Celebration for years. Maybe next year I'll be able to manage it. Passes for all four days aren't that expensive, and Anaheim is only 45 minutes away, they just sell out super fast.
My pretty dress came in today and fuck, it's so lovely in person. But holy shit, I can't wear it anytime soon as it's such a heavy fabric. I'd die out and about in it during the SoCal summer. Well, here's to looking forward to wearing it out come October and the cooler months.
I love being able to introduce him to new things. We started watching Love Death + Robots last night, and he's hooked. We got through about ten episodes into season one and he's really enjoyed them so far. I think his favorites are my favorites as well, which is fun. As we get farther into the first season, the episodes are more of a miss for me, and I'm debating if we should just skip season two entirely because for the most part, it wasn't good. But, I don't know. I'll let him decide, since he's the one who's never seen it.
Honestly, I have to say it's so wonderful being in a healthy relationship. I'm so accustomed to being treated like shit, to having to deal with some form of toxicity. It's such a relief to be in a relationship where I don't have any of that. He's compassionate, understanding, without judgment, so supportive and loving. I am truly the luckiest person around to have him in my life. I don't know where I would be without him. Not just the relationship aspect, but without his expertise in the psychology field. I'd likely still be the mess I was a year ago, trapped in the never-ending cycle that is my depression. And while he hasn't cured me, there is no cure, he has made it easier, he's given me someone to talk to, given me new ways to cope with it. I don't use him as a therapist, I learned my lesson from relationships before, where I just dumped everything onto my partner, but I do talk to him, I vent, I confide, and I know he's perfectly capable of handling it all. That's what I've always needed, someone who knows how to handle someone like me. My problem was that I always dated broken people like myself, people who dealt with all the same issues as I did, and as a result, it always went wrong. Either they were ill-equipped to handle someone else and themselves, or I was. And I'm not saying that Logan isn't broken in some fashion, we don't get older without procuring some kind of baggage along the way, but he's got the training to handle things better than others could.
In the end, he's just the kind of person I always needed in my life. And while I can't always relate to him, because our lives have been so vastly different, it's nice to be with someone who's had those kinds of experiences. I honestly feel like he's the one, my person. And I know he feels the same.
Ah man, VR, never change.
To me being goth is finding wholeness in all the parts of nature not just the favorable ones to the majority while hiding the rest. Anyone who has listened to Cancer's radio show knows a part of this site is satire. If you can't handle a good roasting then go ahead and leave the site but even those that wine about it like a seem to like hanging out on the site like a masochistic gimp that the sadists just love hearing from. The only problem I see with the site is all those who cyber and empower those who do when it's open to +13 minorities and is inappropriate to me in accord with federal law here in U.S.. I'm kind of a sadist myself and will do my part to fix this by personally inviting some very special people to this site. Draconic LOL
That's honestly a good view to have in regards to the nonsense. If you can't take it, this is clearly not the place for you. And hey, you spend your money on whomever and whatever you deem appropriate. it's your money, after all. And I'm all for putting money into this site we all love. I just find it funny that someone who was literally calling you names and writing entries about you at the start of the day has turned around and changed their tune. But, as I said, that is classic VR. People switch the opinions, morals, and standards at the drop of a hat.
Honestly, that's pretty fucking hilarious.
I'm sorry, but I don't think you get to call someone a moron when you can't even use the most basic of variation of "you are" correctly. The same with a lot. Allot and a lot are not interchangeable, they mean two very different things. And honestly, don't get me started on your punctuation, or rather, lack there of. Stones, glass houses and all that.
I told cat you're starting stuff on your other profiles when clearly this isn't about you
I dont want to be around a drama instigator like you Immy Ranger has been harassing me for 3 months you can even ask cat
I'm not starting shit on any profile. Merely making an observation.
I already told cat and pulled my coven away from her alliance because of you siding with Occult ranger when hes been cheating the whole site and paying for peoples life times so they stop asking for adds
haven't notice he clearly an asshole IMMY you're on the wrong side of the fence and I can talk how I want to fucking talk or type how I want to type just like you can your not perfect either just wait until cat gets back she knows allot about occult ranger to and them being in Niki Lady moon moons coven ect
and than being kicked out so forth
You want to start shit while cat is gone
and where both in the same alliance I at least dont bother someone while they are in the same alliance as me
If I could block you right now Immy I would because I only tolerate you because of cat
but other than that I really hate you immy
I truly do for what you did to me and Tony
Again, I'm not siding with anyone. Merely poingint out the stupidity of calling someone names when you don't have the most basic grasp of grammar and punctuation. I'd do the same thing we're it anyone else.
I DONT FUCKING CARE IMMY
ABOUT MY GRAMMAR I DIDNT TAKE GRAMMAR CLASS LIKE YOU CLEARLY DID
And again, I did nothing in regards to you and Tony. If suggesting that he spend time with you is an asshole move, so be it, I'm an asshole. But you seem to think I was plotting to take your life, which is fucking bonkers.
Also... This is my journal...
If cancer allowed me to block certain admins you would be the first admin I would block TBH
You can block me. Nothing is stopping you from doing so. You can't block Upper Admins, but I am not an Upper Admin. So, go for it.
I will block you with all 8
I am not sure exactly what is going on but I have been at work and don’t have time for the drama of three grown ass adults. I am gonna go back to my hole I kindly would like to remain there. I have other things to worry about like spending with my owl and orc. Night folks try to behave for once.
Yay? As you can see, I don't block in return, I don't see a point. But have at it, Julie. 8 blocks isn't going to kill me.
Over 75 blocks won't kill you either just takes the max penalty of minus 5% of your base score. Yeah I agree its rather redundant to block any admin master vampire and over except in giving them a penalty to score if they have over 5 against them. I suppose there is a power Cancer gives to his admins that negates all those lesser things others are governed by...normally. I have freedom from natural occult sources and really the appeal is lost on me. Other than whatever prestige is gained by being favored by the prince and having a status title in that rank section of a profile.
I think having a sire on vampire rave that has penalties in the red really gives one character. This is a REALvampire site. Truth be told who doesn't like to show off those bite marks. ;)_-
The penelty on my score isn't much, I can take it. Even if it was, I'd still not be bothered. Nothing is going to change my status as Sire, as Admin, having a little red means nothing. Arbitrary numbers, I've been saying it for years. I don't put much stock into silly numbers on a website like others do.
And given everything, I'm sure I'll be right there with you in all those blocks. Sheep follow one another, after all.
I never seem to learn...
The new season of Netflix's Love Death + Robots dropped today, and while, all together the total runtime of the nine episodes is just barely more than two hours, I think I rushed it. It was just so damn good! The first season had a few misses for me, but there were also eighteen stories which is what season two and three are together. So, it's to be expected. But, I honestly thought it was a fluke with how good season one was compared to season two. Season two has the excuse of being done during Covid, and it is a valid excuse, but the stories were weak. I think there was only one in all eight episodes that I actually liked. Only one. And it was the Santa one. But this season was phenomenal. There isn't one story I didn't throughly enjoy. Not one story I wanted to skip. They were all so well done. The the animation! Jesus, sometimes it's hard remembering that it's all animated, none of it is real. Its really hard for me to pick a favorite in this group of stories, as I said, they were all so good. Season one I had a few absolute, hands-down favorites, but I cant imagine singling out any one or two that I liked more than the rest. Though, if I was really hard-pressed, the last one with the siren, Jibaro, would be the winner. But honestly, they were all exceptionally good. I cannot state that enough. I'll definitely be watching this season again, and I'll have to see if Logan's watched any of it. I may wind up watching all three seasons with him.
A bit of a poetry dump, as I go through my records.
I bought a dress with the full intention of wearing it for more than one occasion for the first time in... Ever. I don't buy dresses outside of special occasions. I believe the last one I bought was some years ago for my aunt's wedding and before that was... Prom? But yeah, I saw it and I liked it and it was on sale, so I figured might as well. It's a simple black dress, nothing fancy, but it's my fist time trying this person's stuff. She has a Gothic line as well with some beautiful clothes, so if I like this one, I may invest in some of the things I've been eyeing in that line. This dress is from her Vixen line, based more on like, the '50s and 60s. Her stuff can be pricy, so I'm looking at the durability, the feel of the fabric. I wouldn't want to invest in something that looks and feels cheap, you know? Not when I'm paying over a hundred bucks on a single piece. So hopefully I'll like it. I know Logan has been asking if I own any dresses for a while, and I do, but not stuff I'd wear on a night out. This should fit that criteria. And he can see me in a dress. He hasn't really seen me in anything but jeans, so a dress with some stockings and my Widow Dante's Inferno booties might look good.
It's been a long but good weekend. Lucas' birthday party yesterday and that was fun. It was nearly 100 degrees, but still fun. Logan got to meet Kevin and Liz and the kids, and it was nice to have everyone finally meet him. The party was okay, I mostly spent the day inside the house with my mom and Logan due to the heat and the fact that I didn't really know most of the people there. So, meh. Lucas had fun, that's all that matters.
We left the party around five and then just went to the hotel. Took a bit of a nap, just enjoyed spending some alone time together. It had been a month and a half since we'd seen one another. After some down time we went and saw Doctor Strange 2, his first time seeing it, my second. It was good, he enjoyed it. Caught some things I didn't notice the first time. After the movie we had a late dinner of In-N-Out and then bed. I was wiped out from the day. Today we just went out for some lunch before he headed back home. It's hard, the distance, but we make it work. It was a good weekend overall. I'm glad he was able to come out here and meet the rest of my family, that we got to spend time together. I missed him so much. Never again. I will not allow us to go another month and a half not seeing one another.
The days feel off to me. All this week I've kept thinking it was a day it wasn't. Today feels like Friday, yesterday felt like Monday. It's just been a mess. I've also been dealing with some major back issues since last Friday. So, that's been fun. I may have to go see a doctor at some point, it's gotten to the point where I have to take muscle relaxors to feel okay enough to function. Otherwise I just want to curl into a ball and cry due to the pain. This getting older thing, I'm not a fan.
Its been a pretty good weekend. Yesterday I went and got myself a new phone, the Samsung S22 Ultra, and I'm in love. It's such an upgrade from my old Note 9. The display alone is leaps and bounds better, and it's nice to have a screen that doesn't have my GPS burned into it. And today, being Mother's Day, I took my mom out to see Doctor Strang in the Multiverse of Madness. I had her catch up on some things during the week, made her watch No Way Home and WandaVision. She really enjoyed the movie, which is good. And we just got home from having dinner with Kevin, Liz, and the kids. We went to an awesome little sushi place, it was so good. I've been craving sushi for a while, so it really hit the spot. Next weekend is Lucas' birthday, so that'll be fun. I really just can't wait to see Logan. It's been over a month, I miss him.
He's going to meet my nephew and niece, my brother and sister-in-law in the 14th. He's met my mom any my aunts on my mom's side, but he hasn't met the kids or Kevin or Liz yet. But, thankfully I'll be able to take him to Lucas' 5th birthday party. I was so afraid I was going to miss it, but well, some things transpired and I'm skipping the last three weeks of Faire. I haven't seen him in over a month now, and the 14th will be the first time. I miss him immensely.
Speaking of Lucas and his birthday, I think I went a little overboard with his presents. I got him a Spider-Man jacket from the Disney store and a Spider-bot and backpack from the Avenger's Campas at California Adventure. Granted, I had to have my friend who works at Disneyland get those last two things for me, since I wasn't getting to Disneyland before the 14th. So I should have everything by next week. I spent more than I wanted to, but my mom said she'd go in on half, so at least I get some of the money back. I had to dip into my savings too many times in the last week, and I want to replace what money I can.
While watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel:
Yesterday at Faire was... Well, it just was. Nothing I really want to go into here, but yeah. I'm just frustrated and hurt.
So fucking tired. Today just felt like it was never going to end. I'm just gonna hop in the shower and then go to bed. I'm exhausted.
|World Visitor Map|