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immortalxkiss's Journal


immortalxkiss's Journal

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16 entries this month
 

00:22 Nov 30 2021
Times Read: 72


The adventure with my car just never ends. So, I talked to the shop and, as I was told by a friend I talked to on Friday, it was the heater core that is causing the issues I was still having. But, thankfully, I'm not going to have to pay for anything, as the shop realizes that this steamed from their fuck up the first time I took my car in for the overheating issue. The fact that it wasn't taken care of the first time and that my car was still overheating, which is what cause the heater core to fail, is totally on them. They should have made sure things were taken care of properly when they installed the new hoses. So, they've put in and will put in a good number of hours in labor for the original $700 I had to pay the first time. If I did have to pay for everything, I'd be looking at a couple grand right now in bills. As it is, I am able to manage the original cost with the selling of my Xbox. I didn't want It to come to that, but in the end I need a working car more than I need a Series X. I still have my One, after all. So, I'll have to take it in sometime later this week, probably next weekend, so they can replace the heater core. And then, God willing, my car will be good and I won't have anymore issues for a while. This has been a whole ordeal and I'm happy it's close to being done completely.


COMMENTS

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LadyOctoberia
LadyOctoberia
00:55 Nov 30 2021

This is why I can't afford cars.





 

03:10 Nov 29 2021
Times Read: 110


Well, at least I know that if I have to sell my Xbox, controller, and headset, I can easily get a grand for it. With Christmas right around the corner, the demand is so high, even if what is being sold is somewhat used. But, it's all like new since I am not hard on my gaming stuff. You can't afford to be when it's all so fucking expensive. It's a bit of a relief, though. Knowing that I can get that much within a day or two.

I still haven't heard about my car, I'll give the shop a call tomorrow. But, I feel like that's a good thing, that they're doing the work and I won't have to pay. Considering this is their fuck up in the first place, I would hope that would be the case, but sometimes you just never know. Especially with auto shops. I'm going to give them a call tomorrow and see what's going on.


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00:32 Nov 28 2021
Times Read: 151


Shits been... Not great the last month or so. I'm at the point where I'm ready to sell my Xbox Series X, headset, and elite controller for the fast cash. My car has had constant problems the last two weeks. In and out of the shop. It was full on smoking yesterday after I got to my brother's house to watch the kids. So much so that I thought it might actually catch fire. It didn't, thankfully, but I'm terrified to hear what it's going to cost me, if it can even be saved, or if it's a total loss and not worth the repair costs.

I don't know... I don't want to sell my stuff, but honestly, I don't have any other choice. Shit is just that bad and I don't make enough money with work... I'm so stressed and frustrated with everything right now.


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20:43 Nov 25 2021
Times Read: 196


Thirteen hour phone calls, man. Those are numbers I haven't done in years.


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13:42 Nov 25 2021
Times Read: 215


I feel like there's this unwritten rule that I only look good in the dark.


COMMENTS

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Slain
Slain
18:07 Nov 25 2021

Don't you mean Dar?





immortalxkiss
immortalxkiss
20:42 Nov 25 2021

Old school throwback there, Sir. Haha. But yes, in the dar.





 

16:38 Nov 22 2021
Times Read: 259


When you leave yourself open to new things, you may bbe surprised at what comes your way.

Honestly, I was not expecting that, but I'm not at all disappointed.


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20:51 Nov 20 2021
Times Read: 301


I miss you.
Quite terribly.
Things just aren't the same when you're not here.
I'm not the same when you're not here.
I miss you.

COMMENTS

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18:08 Nov 17 2021
Times Read: 357


Got a new job offer. It's in the cannabis industry, which is legal here and one I'm not at all familiar with since I don't smoke outside of a vape every couple of months when the pain in my back is too much. The plus is that it's only part-time starting off, they reevaluate after 6 months, along with giving a pay increase, and with my current work schedule, that would be perfect for me. And since I have no social life presently, I don't think working two jobs would be that awful, plus the benefits of having more money coming in would be super helpful. I don't know. It's something to think about, at least.


COMMENTS

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BloodCravings
BloodCravings
19:39 Nov 17 2021

My boyfriend knows all about weed lol,





LadyGrimoire
LadyGrimoire
00:45 Nov 19 2021

I know what you mean, I have no social life either and I like it that way. Working two jobs if you choose to is an excelent idea.





 

04:51 Nov 17 2021
Times Read: 381


One of my uncles on my mom's side had a stroke last night. Thankfully he's doing okay and is in good spirits. But fuck... He's only in his 50's. It's terrifying to hear that happened to him. And then... My aunt Sue isn't doing well at all either. She had pneumonia a while ago, but due to her issues with her Crohn's and her kidneys and her being on dialysis, she isn't recovering well. So... I don't know. Shit just feels like it's all going to come crashing down at some point. I know people can't live forever, but I'm not in any place to lose anyone on my mom's side, not after my Nana. They are the people I'm closest with and it would just be too much. And it's just so fucking crazy because my uncle was at my brother and sister-in-law's place with my cousin yesterday fixing the tile work, and there was no sign anything could be wrong. When I left to go home after watching the kids, I said goodbye and he said he'd see me today when they came back to finish things. And then that happened.


COMMENTS

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BloodCravings
BloodCravings
19:39 Nov 17 2021

I'm sorry about your uncle sending prayers





 

09:09 Nov 16 2021
Times Read: 424


I should be asleep because I have work in a few hours, but instead of sleeping I've been listening to this song on repeat for the last three hours.




When you grow up your heart dies
Who cares?
I care

When you grow up your heart dies (ooh, ooh, ooh)
Just keep holding that secret code by your side

Somebody call, somebody call it (don't go)
Don't let it go, don't let it go (just stay)
Without somebody to hold, without somebody (ooh)
I just need that body (ooh)

You're on fire
The way you dance with the devil tonight
You're on fire
You got that last dance look in your eyes
Just like a movie
Don't let your heart die
Don't let your heart die
Don't let your heart die

Hey temptation, escape with me (ooh, ooh, ooh)
Just some flashing lights and some tire smoke is all that we need

Somebody call, somebody call it (don't go)
Don't let it go, don't let it go (just stay)
Without somebody to hold, without somebody (ooh)
I just need that body (ooh)

You're on fire
The way you dance with the devil tonight
You're on fire
You got that last dance look in your eyes
Just like a movie
Don't let your heart die
Don't let your heart die
Don't let your heart die

You're on fire
Just like a movie
A suicide of a perfect mind
Promise, don't let your heart die

Whatever will be, will be
Don't care what anyone else thinks
You'll be okay, I promise
Just keep on keeping on
It's just a bad day, not a bad life
I'll always be there for you
I swear the breath from my lungs
You'll feel it when you know
Life is worth the risk
Live long and prosper
Believe in yourself and create your own destiny
Don't fear failure

Keep running on
Just hold on
Just fight on
Until the sun goes down
Just remember when you grow up your heart dies

Don't ever give up
Everything worth doing is hard
The only time that matters is right now
It's okay to feel lost
Live life to the full because you never know what's around the corner
So let's take a part of the world and make it our own
Don't let the bastards grind you down
You saved me

Keep running on
Just hold on
Just fight on
Until the sun goes down
Just remember when you grow up your heart dies

There's no fate but what we make for ourselves
We always have each other
Keep your head up, kid
Always fear regret more than failure
Stay true to yourself
There is still good in the world
Expect nothing and appreciate everything
It was all worth it
The sun never sets on your dreams



I've not been in the best place mentally for the past few yeras, as some may know, and lately it's been a real struggle to find reasons to keep going each day. But, I'm getting back on the right track. Music has always had a huge impact on my mood and my state of mind. The quotes they used, the messages of hope, keep me going. At least for another day. And really, that's all I can ask for right now. I have to take things one day at a time.

COMMENTS

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LORDMOGY
LORDMOGY
09:21 Nov 16 2021





Daize
Daize
10:23 Nov 16 2021

lovely song and i can relate with ur thinking, much hugs and wishes that what u going through pass fast and some light shine into ur soul again...blessed be





 

18:29 Nov 15 2021
Times Read: 472


I've been dealing with some stuff, and I've found a little comfort in watching and rewatching Helluva Boss. Even though episode 7 broke me in so many ways... But, the music cheers me up some when I'm feeling low. All the songs in the show are pretty damn great, but this one is probably my favorite.


COMMENTS

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vHellsGuardianv
vHellsGuardianv
18:59 Nov 15 2021

If you like this show have you seen Hazbin Hotel yet....I am addicted to both series





immortalxkiss
immortalxkiss
20:24 Nov 15 2021

I've seen Hazbin Hotel, not a huge fan. I like the characters in Helluva Boss more.





vHellsGuardianv
vHellsGuardianv
20:25 Nov 15 2021

I hope they bring more out I want to see what happens between Blitzy and the Owl demon forgot his name





immortalxkiss
immortalxkiss
20:31 Nov 15 2021

Stolas.

And yeah, it's a pain waiting months between episodes. I got hooked right as episode 2 came out, so it's been hell waiting and wanting to know what happens next. I'm hoping they can get part 2 of the finale out pretty quick though. It was only about two months between 6 and 7, so I'm hopeful it'll be out by January.





vHellsGuardianv
vHellsGuardianv
20:41 Nov 15 2021

Season 2 should be out late 2022





 

10:22 Nov 13 2021
Times Read: 524


"One step at a time."


Very well. I'll give you all the time you need to figure things out, so long as in the end we fix what is so utterly, heartbreakingly broken.

COMMENTS

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00:27 Nov 10 2021
Times Read: 580


I went out on a nice little lunch date with John today. I say date, but I mean that in the purely platonic sense. We walked around Victoria Gardens, had a nice late lunch, and just talked. I've been so not okay for the last...however long, so I really needed this outing. Just being able to talk to someone else about the things I've been dealing with, getting a different perspective than my own, it made things easier on me.


I truly appriciate meeting John. Getting past my romantic feelings has been a blessing, because he's become a very real, very good friend for me. He's able to talk to me and give his insights as an older man (he's nearly 15 years my senior) and from his personal experiences. He tells things to me straight, he doesn't bullshit with me or just tell me things I want to hear. He's become rather invaluable to me. And yeah, we go through periods of not talking, he gets caught up with his work and his own life, but when we do talk, when we are able to see each other in person, it's always something I value more than anything. I'm so thankful for meeting him.

It was a pleasent afternoon, and while I may not have been the best company, he doesn't hold that against me. He builds me up. He's always built me up.


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19:35 Nov 08 2021
Times Read: 624


I don't know what to make of this. On one hand, I'm ecstatic, on the other... I'm waiting for the bad news.


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16:30 Nov 08 2021
Times Read: 640


That phone call... Even though a lot of it was spent in silence, it was a comfortable silence. Even after all this time, it's still comfortable. I needed it more than I can put into words. Just hearing that voice... I needed my friend more than I wanted to admit. Maybe we can fix things, maybe not all hope is lost.


COMMENTS

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09:20 Nov 04 2021
Times Read: 735


Things aren't okay.
I'm not okay.
I haven't been for such a long time now.
But... I keep going.
It's all I can really do at this point.


COMMENTS

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LORDMOGY
LORDMOGY
10:09 Nov 04 2021





Cora
Cora
12:20 Nov 08 2021

When you are going through a hard time just keep going. In a flash things can change for the better.








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