Well, Destiny is just proving to be one massive disappointment after another. With the announcement of the DLC that's to be released, they fucked over Xbox users. I understand platform exclusivity and favoring the console that pays you the most money, but charging all platforms twenty bucks, but shafting one of those platforms is just ridiculous. Xbox users won't see the exclusive content Playstation gets for a freaking year. A year. And yet were expected to pay the same amount of money for that DLC package? Oh, Bungie, I had such hopes. I loved Destiny during the beta. I loved it some much, it captivated me in such a way that I literally spent half a day, twelve freaking hours, playing it nonstop. And I've poured over 200 hours into it since its release.
Yet, they treat their fan base with contempt. They don't listen to what we have to say, they don't fix core issues the game has and has had since day one, they nerf anything good about the game (need I even mention what they did to the Mythoclast?). And we are supposed to just accept it? I'm sorry, but no. That's not how you make a game. Especially a game you want to last for, what was it? Ten years? Yeah, with the way we're getting shafted, Destiny will be lucky to keep people's interest through the holidays. You've got the Master Chief Collection, CoD Advanced Warfare coming out early next month, I know all of my friends I game with will be putting time into one, or both, of those titles when they drop. Me, well, I may got get my hands on Diablo and call it a day.
I had such hopes, Destiny, such high hopes. I love that game, but I also hate it. I won't be buying the DLC, and I doubt I'll actually put anymore real time into it. It's gotten so tiresome, so boring. If I want a game like that I can just go over to Borderlands. I've heard nothing but good things about the Pre-Sequel.
It's just such a shame. They promised so much and have yet to deliver. After a while you just stop caring. And the new raid gear looks horrible. Just absolutely horrendous.
So... The account I'm looking to get rid of...
Premium until the 5th of November.
Housed in Cognitive Fabrication and currently blind, but will be traded to the Society of your choice.
Three accounts marked for deletion, and I'm giving away another.
The account is a premium until some time in November and it's in the low 60's without a Mark or Society bonus. It's currently housed in Cognitive Fabrication, but I'm sure you'll have no issue getting it sent to wherever you'd like.
Message me if you want it.
All I really aim to keep are my two Sire accounts.
I don't talk to anyone here anymore. I used to have a set group of people I exchanged messages with, now I have... Birthday notifications. I want to change that, be more social, but I know I won't. Because in the end I'm not social. At all. I just miss the people I used to be close with.
I never thought I would say it, but I'm pretty sick of Destiny. After tonight and running through the raid on hard, and getting jack shit for it, I'm just beyond done. I think it's time to get back into playing Halo or, well, anything else. Maybe I'll go trade in GTA V and see if I can't pick up Mass Effect.
Also, this. Just all of this.
Who's finally got a full set of raid gear in Destiny? That's right, this gal. One Titan at 30, ond at nearly 30, and a Hunter at 28. One day I will make a Warlock. Or not. Fuck Warlocks. I still got denied my Mythoclast though. It's like the game doesn't want me to have it. My friend Ghost got his third one tonight, and I can't get one. Well, I guess there's always two more opportunities when I run my other two characters through hard mode. I wish they would implement trading. Ghost would totally give me the gun if he could.
Was I ever wrong. Wow.
Well its not the first time, sure won't be the last.
There is so much I want to say, express. But I can't. Not publicly, at least. Things should probably just be left where they fell. Why disturb the ashes? What would be gained from it?
There wasn't anything there before, not like what was imagined. But now... Now things feel like they have shifted a bit. Maybe there is something there. Small. Just beginning to blossom.
I think I may redo my profile. No one cares, no one actually reads them, so what's the point of being in depth with it?
There is a girl, her name is Nicole.
Her life is simple, but rewarding enough for her.
Her thoughts are her own.
Don't get too close, she's toxic.
So many can attest to that one fact.
You've been warned.
This place seems to be far less active these days. At least, that's what I've noticed every time I stop by. Very few people ever seem to be logged in at any given moment. Kind of makes me miss the "good old days" where the Who's Online list had more than just a handful of names on it. I guess that's just how it goes. I am still very much in love with this site, but it isn't that addiction it once was for me. I don't feel compelled to constantly log in and know what's going on. It just doesn't draw me in quite like it used to. But, that's probably more on me than anything else, I've changed who I am and I have alienated so many people I once considered friends. I don't recognize most people I used to be familiar with anymore. It's a good and bad thing all rolled into one.
My group finally beat the Vault of Glass on hard and what did I get for it? The fucking Sparrow and seven ascendant energy and two shards and the ability to say I knocked that God damn fucker off his stupid ledge. What did everyone else get? Fucking raid gear and weapons.
Fuck Destiny. Fuck Atheon. Fuck the Vault of Glass. And fuck the stupid Sparrow that won't even explode on me like promised.
I miss the way things used to be.
Blah, I love Destiny, but sometimes it just all blends together. It doesn't help when so many of the places look the same. It gets tiring after a while.
It all looks the same.
I've said things, I've done things that I didn't mean. Things that were said and done in the heat of the moment, though that is no excuse for those actions and those words. I regret a lot in my life, I have done so much I wish I could take back, do all over again, change the outcome of. But, wishing you can change the past gets you nowhere. You must come to terms with your actions and attempt to learn from those mistakes. I'm by no means anywhere near perfect, so I do make a lot of mistakes. It's part of being human.
I can't change the things I said in anger, out of pain. I can't take back the things I did, or didn't do, that hurt those I care(d) about. As much as I really want to, there's not a thing I can do. I can apologize, but to many those would be empty words. While I may wholeheartedly mean what I say, there's irreparable damage that's been done where words would be meaningless and wasted. I've burned so many bridges, I've ruined so many relationships.
In the end, though, it's all a learning experience. Learn, grow, become a better person by not repeating those mistakes. It takes a while for lessons to sink in, I find I fall back into similar patterns of behavior, but in the end I do learn. I guess that's all that matters.
I regret. I wish. I desire to change the past. I hate not being able to.
Ramble, ramble, ramble. I haven't slept yet and I probably should. My mind simply won't shut off.
Well, that was a little disheartening, but it was good to find out exactly what needs to be fixed and taken care of. Hopefully I can get things remedied in a quick amount of time.
In the end, despite it all, I wish you nothing but happiness. May you find it on whatever path you choose to walk.
And in the end, regardless of what some may think, my feelings were real. I guess that's neither here nor there at this point, but it is true.
I think feelings are always real - and as YOU feel what YOU feel, it's not really right for people to claim to know what you're feeling and whether it's 'fake' or not.
Pardon me, but it's like psychosis in a way - it may not seem "real" to others, but it's real for you.
Bad analogy. But true.
It's the little things in life that just make me smile sometimes. A few amazing PvP matches in the Iron Banner on Destiny where I ranked second on my team, a new outfit I never would have fit in a few months ago, a game of checkers with my brother and sister-in-law, which I lost horribly, and now a nice dinner out with my family. Nothing major, nothing huge, just small moments that make me smile.
Sometimes I wonder, had we not burned the bridges between us, where would we stand today? Idle curiosity, I suppose. As I will never find the answer.
That was, quite possibly, the most immature thing I have ever had to deal with. Way to drag innocent bystanders into an issue like that.
I sat outside a pawn shop for an hour, just staring down at that little gold box, knowing what's inside could rake me a few hundred. But, I never did go in. I am only that spiteful and vindictive in my head, when it comes to reality, however, I could never do it. As much as I may want to. And, I really wanted to...
People get the wrong impression of me from what's displayed on this website. I'm not half the monster most people think I am. And only somewhat more of one than a few people know.
I wish I had done it...
The Iron Banner has come to Destiny! It is the only time I will actively go all out for the Crucible. I am not a good PvP player, I know this better than anyone and I will not deny it, but with the Iron Banner, level limitations are off. Meaning that your armor and your weapons will do the defense and attack damage you have them leveled to. At level 29, all my armor and weapons are fully upgraded. Meaning people will hate me when I snipe them with my Exotic Ice Breaker, or blow them off the map with my Legendary Unfriendly Giant rocket launcher. I can do a lot of damage and take a good few hits before going down.
I was playing with Ghost when it opened up at two this morning. I already hit rank 1 with my Iron Banner rep, I have the emblem ad the armor shader equipped on my Titan. And, the great thing is, you can have parties of six for Crucible matches. My new found friends are all 29s with fully upgraded weapons and armor. If we can all get together and hit the playlist, we will fucking own everyone put against us. It's a hard learning curve for me, though, since I am not good with close quarters combat. I am a sniper. Put me on the right map and I will kill everything I manage to capture in my sights. Unfortunately they keep throwing me on the smaller ones, so I do bring my team down a bit with my somewhat constant deaths. But, when I get an a good spot, I am death incarnate. Hopefully this will get me on better footing with PvP matches. I am not as bad as I used to be, but I am not on par with Ghost or anyone else who joined our group tonight. But, so long as no one bitches about my sucktastic skills, I'll be alright. And Ghost may joke around with me, but he's not a complete asshole and never puts me down. I need the encouragement he and Rob and Zen all give me. It helps me grow as a player. But man, am I just so freaking excited for this event. I loved the Queen stuff, I hit rank 3 with her and got all her good shit, now it's time for me to get my PvP skills. I really just want the Titan Mark. That thing is so beast. And maybe the SMG. And the ship. Fuck it, just give me all of it. That's what I am going to try for.
There's this group of people I started gaming with, I met them, essentially, through Rob. Well, I met one of them through Rob, and the others through that one person. Anyway, the two who are around my age, a few years older but close enough, are who I've been hanging out with in Destiny. We were all in a party last night/early this morning, just fucking around and doing missions. Well, they were both on alternate characters, leveling them up past 20,and I was on my main 29 Titan. It was a whole group of Titans, as they were both playing one as well. Titans are pretty fun to play as they are all about brute Force and melee attacks and whatnot. So, Ghost, the guy in the group made up a game where we couldn't use our guns, just our fists and supers. It was quite possibly the most fun I have ever had playing Destiny. I mean, yeah, I've done that before, foregone my weapons and just laid waste with my punches, but that was on my own, not with two other awesome people to keep it fun and have me laughing. We were doing some of the Queen's kill missions and we got thrown into the Nexus one quite a bit. You guys who play Destiny, go punch the Nexus without dying. See how much fun it can be! It was the only time we used guns, because, unfortunately, you can't beat that boss without them. But everything else, we Titan punched to death, including the Minotaurs. Those bitches with their shields and their teleporting cheating... Psh. So satisfying to see a group of Titans circle one and just punch it into non-existence. I am going to have to game with them all the time now, that group is just way too much fun.
That sounds incredibly fun.
As for me. Looks like I'll be 28 for another few months until the expansion comes in and the level can once again be raised through gaining experience and not leveling gear with those fucking ascendant shards which, thanks to Bungie, are next to impossible to get.
"Maybe he's right," she thought to herself as she listened to his screaming voice, the pain and sadness so evident. "Maybe I never will change. It will just be the same cycle, over and over again." It's who she was, it was where she was most comfortable. It's never easy pulling yourself away from something you've known for so long, to change who you've always been, even if that change is for the better. She knew, in the end, she would just wind up right back where she stared. And she knew, in the end, he would just get hurt.
Reaching out with his hand he grabbed her by the shoulders. "Change is inevitable. You have to, or else you fall behind and die", he said with conviction. "I will not let you die. I will help you. All you need to do is trust me. I am not your father, I am not like anyone else you have ever met. I see and hear the pain you carry with you and I am here to help you put a stop to it once and for all. You have been betrayed, manipulated and blackmailed, but that will happen no longer"
Putting his arms around her he pulled her close and held her tightly then whispered in her ear. "This is love, my aingeal. Love holds no conditions and expects nothing, just love in return. It's hard to change, but I know you want to. I can feel it. So do it. Take my hand and trust, for I shall not let you fall. You are my heart and my soul, without you, I cannot live. I am but a shell. All it takes is one step, so let's take it together"
Brushing the hair from her face and stroking her cheek, he looked deeply into her eyes. "When I look into your eyes, I see so much. Potential, heart, soul, but pain. You don't have to face it alone anymore. I am here for you".
With a smile he touched his forehead to hers. "What say you?", he asked with a whisper.
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