Holy cow, I don't even wear makeup, but that Jeffree Star x Shane Dawson collection is everything. EVERYTHING. And I need it. I need ALL of it.
I got so caught up in Shane's series about this collab, and now I must have it. The chances of me getting it feel slim because I'll be at work when it launches and I don't really have hundreds of dollars to drop on the entire collection... But man, I want it. I really, really want it.
I saw a this huge cockroach in the bathroom at the office. I'm just about ready to nope the fuck out of here and set the building on fire. I can deal with bugs, I can deal with spiders, I even had to capture a lizard in here once, but I don't do cockroaches. And the size of this one. Nope. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.
omg cockroaches??? eiwww! the ones in Hawaii have those thorny legs so if they ever get on you, eiw eiw eiw LOL...oh man the horror...I freak out on them too! let's run far far away I'm with you on that LOL
Was it the "toe biter" or "water bug" ones?
It was of the Nope variety. I honestly have no idea, all I know is that it was skittering along the back wall of the restroom, it was huge, and I was freaking the fuck out. And dude, it had wings. I know they have wings but I don't know if they can fly. Can they fly? Because if so, the office has to go. Cleansing by fire is the only option. I'm sure Dustyn will understand. Ugh. Just thinking about it is ick. I'm all paranoid it's going to run out of the restroom and come at me since my desk is near the door.
They can freaking fly????
They can fly, somewhat. We have them here and my boss calls them "water bugs". I say bullshit, "water bug" is said so as to not freak people out. They are cockroaches, period. They are lizard food. LOL!
On a side note, my boss likes to step on them slowly, from back to front. Just so their guts come spraying out of their heads. LOL!
My cat Panther used to catch them when it would rain at my Brooklyn apartment. Cause I lived near the sea at the time. He loved it.
My lizard eats Dubia roaches that are vegan fed (keeps them from being diseased and bitter). But one day I'd like to breed Madagascar roaches. I bet he'd love the crunch.
That would be AWESOME! I think those ones scream too! >:D
Oh my God, your boss, Zombie. I hate stepping on large bugs, it's that inevitable crunch you hear when you do, it's akin to hearing a bone snap to me. It makes my skin crawl.
Yeah, I'm always like, "Wow, dude, okay." LOL!
A great fb group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/AllBugsGoToKevin/learning_content/ Not all cock roaches are bad. Join an learn and post and ask. Great group!!!!
I really need to sit myself down this week and sign myself up for health insurance. I can't keep putting it off anymore. I collapsed this morning as I was getting up for work. My legs just buckled and I dropped. That's scary. That's really scary. And the headache I've had isn't helping things at all. I was going to say fuck it and go to the ER this morning, but honestly, I can't afford to miss anymore work right now with my position with the company still so uncertain. I know they wouldn't say anything or hold it against me, if I need to go to the ER I need to go to the ER. But... I've missed so much work due to these migraines and I really just don't want to appear like I'm unreliable, especially right now. So, if I could just make it to the weekend, I'll be okay. I'm honestly terrified about things regarding my health. I've never been one to be ill or have anything wrong with me, aside from the fact that I get sick so easily, I've never had anything serious wrong with me. But the fact that I've been getting such bad migraines so often, it's not normal for me. I would have one maybe once or twice a year, but multiple in just a month, bad enough to make me call in sick... That's not normal. And it scares the shit out of me. This morning scared the shit out of me. I haven't told anyone, because I know if I do they will say I need to go see a doctor. Ugh... It's like the minute I hit 32 shit just started going downhill.
Some people will never change. Shame, I was really rooting for you, too.
-hugs- I’m so sorry, love.
At the end of the day, remember that you are good enough. You have so many amazing qualities to share with the world, regardless of what he said or did to make you believe otherwise. Don’t you think for one minute that his opinion was right. You are better than that.
It's times like tonight that really remind me why I fell in love with Chris in the beginning. Why I still love him today, despite all the bullshit of waiting for him to change. Granted, that love has shifted from romantic to purely platonic, but, it's still there. He reminds me how amazing he can be when he's not being an ass. Tonight was such a reminder. He helped me get through things in Destiny, he listened as I ranted about my life and the situation with my dad, he made me laugh, it was just like it should have always been with the two of us. I think, had we not dated when we did, had we waited and built up a solid friendship first, we could have lasted. Because we're a good fit, he and I. We both know that. But, we were both at low points in our lives, and things went the way they did. Can't really be upset, because I did gain a great friend out of the drama. Sometimes, though, I might wish things had gone differently. But, I'm happy, he's happy, we're both in good places, and really, that's all I've ever wanted for him. Happiness and to get out of the hole he had dug for himself. Despite not talking for months on end, we always manage to pick up right where we left off. I'm grateful him and Joe are a part of my life, that I get to game with such awesome guys. Their friendship, it means so much to me.
I've pretty much forgotten what my Titan looks like, since I tend to keep her helmet on at all times. But, playing through Shadowkeep, it's nice to see her face again. It's also, nice to hear her speak, since in most all cutscenes through Destiny 1 and 2 aside from Vanilla Destiny, our Guardians have been mutes, letting their Ghost talk for them. So, this experience has been worth the money, I think. I'm enjoying the story, I'm enjoying the time I get to put into this game again, I'm enjoying everything.
I've started playing Destiny again, and honestly, it's been fun. I've been grouping up with Chris and Joe and it's just like old times. Only, I'm the filthy casual in the group. It's so different from when I'd be on for hours at a time each day. But, that might actually happen since John is going to be gone for a few weekends coming up so I'll have nothing but time to play. But, it's been fun. I've really been enjoying Shadowkeep.
My dad is moving to Wyoming next month... I don't know how I fucking feel about any of this anymore.
-hugs- on the one hand, he’s been a bit of a dick, on the other hand, he is your father. Just...keep the option of patching things up with him in the back of your mind. You don’t wanna go regretting not doing it down the line. I’m here if you need to talk. :)
The thing is is that he doesn't seem to care about me or Kevin. He seems perfectly fine to leave without saying anything to us. All channels of communication are open to him, I even texted him about my aunt Sue, but he rather text my mom than talk to his own kids. So... I don't know. I'm upset and I'm hurt and I'm angry and I hate that it's making me so upset and angry and hurt. I hate feeling so conflicted because of him. He seems perfectly fine cutting my brother and I out of his life.
...hopefully he’ll pull his head out of his ass, but ultimately the ball is in his court on that score. You’re upset and hurt because you’re a decent human being, and for all his faults, he is your father. It’s understandable. Doesn’t make it suck any less, I know. I’m sorry, my dear. :(
$625 for new breaks, front and back, and two new front tires. FML.
I need a new battery.
New master control for door.
3rd wheel sensor. ( not a need, just bothers me )
new seal on 2 doors, as my kid some how moved them.
A oil pan bit ( 30 dollors, walmart stripped mine out )
Nice to want when you cant afford shit, Laughs. I need new security system to keep assholes away from me.
Need blinds for my living room, cause there broken.
Need new door panel on guest bedroom since somoen put new holes in them,
Need new shower curtains and shower head.
Need some spoons in silver wear dwarer some how they ended up missing.
Yeah Just got new microwave from my gramma cause mine went out laughs right after my kid left.
I'm gonna hop on this bandwagon and start doing audio entries in my journal. Zombie started it, Cartomancer followed, and as they both said, I think it would be pretty awesome to get past just the written word here. To shift the way things have been going here for so long. I probably won't put anything awesome out as I'm just on my phone since I don't have an actual computer, so I can't say the quality will be spectacular. But, I love the idea.
It would be helpful if you guys could give me some questions or topics. I'd like to touch on music, books, video games, as these are things that mean a lot to me and I can go on and on about them. But, questions would be nice. And it doesn't have to be limited to those three topics, I can talk about my time here on VR, my failed attempt at being a Coven Master like, 20 times. Haha. All the Societies I've taken part in, I really wish I had kept that list up to date. What it's like to be an Acolyte/Dominar. I don't mind going into personal stuff. Depression, anxiety, suicide attempts, self harm. I'm in a place where I am pretty open about all these things. So, any questions any of you have would be welcome. :]
ooo games that one would be cool to hear about. Like which ones you like as of late or have played a lot of. Oh and also another one I know you like too is anime right? Which ones do you like as of late? I have been watching Black Clover and some older ones like Attack on Titans. My Hero Academia comes out with new season 4 this month lol. I think those would be awesome to hear about:)
So... I might have just yammered on and on for over 20 minutes about anime... Haha.
And while I would love to talk about Destiny, I haven't actually played the game since late January, so I don't think it would be right. Once I get the new DLC (if I get it), I'll see how I feel about it and I might talk about it.
So, I talked to Dustyn about everything again. Things are still a little precarious with my job, but I have until the end of the month to show them I can do better. It's mostly just communication from me that is the hindrance. I have a real issue about being like, I did this and this and this, because I feel like I'm being a bother to Dustyn or Amanda, both of whom have so much on their plate already. But, I need to get over that because in this business, things need to be communicated, I can't just leave it up until I'm asked about it to say something. So, I've been working on that today. Truthfully, I've been working on it for a while, but it's not easy. Now though, I need to change or I will need to start looking for someplace else to work. And, I don't want that, as I do like it here, I like the company, I like what I do, and I love the people I work with. So, things need to change, and I need to keep ontop and be proactive about things. I want to show Dustyn, Amanda, David, even Liz that I can do this.
My aunt is out of ICU, so I'll be headed down to the hospital on my way home from work. I didn't get to go yaerday since I wouldn't have gotten there until around 6:50, and they do their shift change at 7 so I would have had to wait an hour before I could go in and see her. But, thankfully, in the regular rooms, they don't have those restrictions. So, I'll go stop by for an hour or so, see how she's doing. She's out of ICU, so things must be getting better. I know she's upset about the dialysis things, she had stated in front of me, my mom, my aunt Stacy, and my cousin Brenna that she would rather die than go on dialysis, but thankfully my uncle didn't gel with that decision. She doesn't want to die anyway, not when she has her kids and her grandkids. My aunt lives for her grand babies. So yeah, little updates.
Mom's birthday dinner was really nice. The place we went to in Pasadena, Mi Piace, has really good food. The one drawback for me was the actual price of things. I know I should have expected it, given it was Pasadena, but I wasn't expecting to pay $26 for a bowl of fettuccine alfredo. I mean, it was good, but not that good. But, the important thing is that she enjoyed it and had a good time. And what I got was one of the cheapest things on the menu, so yeah. A steak was in the $40 price range. But, it was nice, it was a nice dinner with the family.
We got home around 9 and I crashed hard. I talked to John via text for a little bit, but I think I was asleep by 10:30. It's been a long week. I'm looking forward to this weekend. If John takes off for the mountains like he really wants to, I may go out with Liz and her friends tomorrow night for her birthday which is Sunday. If John stays home, I'll probably wind up spending my weekend over there. I was supposed to go with Raine to watch The Addams Family at a theater out by her tomorrow, but she had to cancel due to money. I'm not all that bothered by it, I'm a little strapped for cash right now as well, even though I got paid today. I was hoping to pick up Borderlands 3 or the Shadowkeep DLC for Destiny today, but I don't think that's going to happen. I'm just tired. Depending on what John does, I may just stay home and relax this weekend, take Liz out for lunch on Sunday.
It's the first day of October! And man, it really feels like autumn outside. When I was leaving for work the air was crisp and cool and just so nice. It even allowed for me to wear one of my lighter turtleneck tops to work today. I'm all about autumn at this point.
Plus, sinc eit is the first day of October, that means its time to do my tradition of watching Hocus Pocus every day of the month, or as many times as I can between work and going out. I love Hocus Pocus. Halloween this year is going to be spent at home again, taking my nephew trick-or-treating like we did last year. I'm super stoked for that. He'll have a little more fun this year I think, since he's older.
This is my favorite time of the year, these last three months. October has Halloween, November has Thanksgiving, and December of course, has Christmas. I'm unsure how the holidays are going to go with the family situation as it is. I don't know if we'll be going to my grandmother's house on Christmas like we have pretty much every year since I was born. And I don't know if we'll be doing Thanksgiving there either. This divorce has really thrown a wrench into some long standing family traditions. Plus, my dad's attitude about everything. I haven't spoken to him since we moved out in April... But, what can really be done? It's just the way it goes sometimes. I'm sure down the road one of us will give, but it isn't going to be anytime soon. We're both too stubborn and I don't think either of us has anything to say to the other right now. But, you know, this just means we can make some new traditions, do Thanksgiving and Christmas day at the house, give Lucas some happy memories. If we spent time with my dad's family, as much as I love my grandmother and my aunts, I think it would just be really awkward and uncomfortable.
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