I actually wouldn't mind trying that.
I am open to trying new things :P
You'll be a Moderate yet.....lol
lol Never hahahahahahaha
::drools::mmm food porn...
@LZAPERVERT So you say...Good luck with that. LOL!
::poke Mogy poke poke poke runs away::hehehehe
Oooo...You're going to get that heat! LOL!
Usually when I roast someone, they are too dead to be offended. They do taste nicer after a good roasting though. >:)
It's almost 7 am (PST). The only two reasons I'm awake during Daylight Hours is because I have to let Bandit in and out and I refuse to have a doggie door installed since I don't want other smaller critters getting into my home.
I hear many garage doors opening and people driving off heading back to work or school or wherever after the Holiday.
I think to myself, I'm truly blessed to be RETIRED! I do not miss those early morning commutes and all the stress that goes along with being in the Matrix.
My life may not be perfect (whose is?), but it is full of Serenity, Happiness, Love, Sex & Magick......Sex? Well, more like self-pleasuring....The Struggle Is Real and so are attractive females walking around looking sexy, but have whole STD(s) to share. ijs
Who is this post for?
This post is for all the guys who don't really believe some of the crazy shit they post, but it's still hella funny....If you have a perverted or twisted sense of humor.....lol
*raises a glass of whatever is closest* Cheers.
*raises my bong because it's always close to me* "To The Box". ^_^
*raises her glass pipe* Cheers and To Breasts ;}
*Raises her glass of OJ* nothing wrong with morals or personal beliefs ... just don't force it on someone else.
Boobies!! ::raises wine glass while eating pizza::
Who is this post for?
This post is for guys whose assistance is always taken the wrong way.....lol
Wow, people are posting videos of themselves doing almost anything.
I go to YouTube. There are videos of people eating, so I watch while eating right along with them.
I go to TheWeedTube. There are videos of people medicating, so I watch while medicating right along with them.
I go to Pornhub. There are videos of people........
Well, you get my point. LOL!
"And if I hear another bitch try to tell me how she is different
Like, "I never get around"
But her pussy I fit my fist in
Insisting that I'm so jealous
I'm jealous of who?
Your screws are loose for you to think I'm jealous of you
You're lame and never made anything but balls turn blue
Tellin' the truth
And when offended, then I'm talkin' 'bout you
And I'm talkin' 'bout you
Stupid ass bitch
Fuck you, you, you and you"
Witt Lowry - "Tried To Be Nice"
Wait, What?! LMAO!
"So why did you send your daughter to college here in the first place?
You pay 20k and your daughter became a sperm bank
Was fuckin' five guys on the first day
She learned how to suck a dick and still hasn't experienced her first A (damn)
She's lookin' up from her knees
She knows about whiskey neat, double D's and the trees
She's gettin' high because the last guy, he left her with ease
Asking him, "Please don't leave, you said you loved me"
On Tinder swiping right like which bitch go'n fuck me?
You know that I'm the man, five grams of protein and some money
And girls are saying they love me
And guys are wishing they was me
I'm offering nothing more than a washboard on my tummy
Witt Lowry - "Tried To Be Nice"
Wait, What?! LMAO!
Oh, well if I must be High for Writing it, You must be Drunk for Reading it. Wait, What?! LOL!
lol, no I am high too and on cold medicine ;)
I just mixed Devil's Cut Bourbon, Dr. Pepper, and Milk together so I'm High, Drunk and Caffeinated. LOL!
Oh how gross that drink sounds. Urg, I think I just barfed a little.
What is up with you and your oral issues? lol
So I asked LZAPERVERT since she is a self-proclaimed Pervert, what's her favorite sex position?
She told me the only hint she'd give me is to look at her VR Level......Ahhhh....Ok. I get it now. Nice!!!
So you're trying to tell me that you as a single Heterosexual guy are hanging around two females...Neither of them is family and one of them you are calling your BFF and nothing sexual is going on?
I'm raising the BS flag on this one.
Either you're fucking one or both, have fucked one or both in the past or waiting around until one or both offers it up to you. LOL!
Why am I seeing eBay ads on VR for the same thing I just added to my watch list? Oh...Nevermind. #TheyLiveMovie
Why is my IG Feed filled mostly with ads for marijuana? Oh...Nevermind. #TheMedicalHighLife
Why do I keep seeing pop-ups for Pornhub? Oh...Nevermind. #IsAwayWillReturnShortly
What's more Spiritual than living daily in Serenity?
So right now I'm Medicating while watching Haley420 & her BF Aaron while eating Raisin Brand Crunch prior to my 2% Milk expiring on me.
Cringe. Cringe Cringe Cringe. No no no no oh hell no no no. Did I mention no, cause no.
Dude, I had been there done that once with this one guy I dated and swore NEVER EVER AGAIN. Weirdest feeling of my life and his face made me want to hurl, especially when he tried to kiss me. Oh dude, my stomach turned. Yeah, that is beyond 50 shades of wrong.
Dude, I seriously barfed a little. Gross.
Dayum, then just don't swallow...LMAO!!!
That totally reminds me of a pile of ozzing poopies. Grosssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Oh, so you're saying you're into Anal too? Hey, I don't judge. LOL!
Lol...mogy you are so funny
OMG Momo. Bad Momo bad. Exit only. Hemeroids!!!!!!!!
So I'm reading comments on the IG and females be going in calling other females Hoes, Bitches, Prostitutes, Sluts, and all sorts of terms that I supposed should be taken as sexually derogatory comments. Because Sex or Sexual Content for Money and Attention is soooo bad right? I mean it right up there with school shootings right? Fuck Out Of Here With That Bull-Shit!
Ummmm.....It's 2018. Modesty & Prudishness is Dead!
Women are webcaming, sexting, directing, recording and publishing their own Home-made Adult Videos, advertising links to their own Adult Websites, becoming Slutwalk activists, protesting to walk in public topless, showing more skin, more cleavage, hell their entire breast (minus the nipple #FREETHENIPPLE), showing their pierced nipples imprint, camel toe, ass with and without the ass-floss and naked with all the good parts blurred out or covered up (sometimes not too well)...... and for FREE or just ATTENTION!
A woman calling another woman something sexually-derogatory because she's in control of her own sexuality and fucks whomever she chooses to while not hurting anyone (if your Man cheated with her, that's on Him...not Her, she's just getting it on with whoever is down) and doesn't give a fuck who says what...... is fucking AWESOME!!!!!
I suppose that would produce a lot of Haters. THEY DON'T CARE & NEITHER DO I.....LOL!
Uh oh....xXxPaynexXx is online. She must have heard about my journal entry. But, I ain't scared. LOL!
Well, I disagree. I was not disrespecting Lesbians.
I love Lesbians and I don't care what kind they are.
In fact, here's to all the tough Lesbians that still wear pretty panties
Fuck You Mean! We both like pussy. I'm a huge fan of Lesbians.
Wait, What?! LOL!
This Journal is dedicated to all those women with a pussy on their hip talking about they're trying to make some money on the side....LMAO!!!
When she tries to use a pad to conceal her camel toe and now it looks like she has a whole dick....lol
Just stop it. Don't be afraid or ashamed of the toe. Fly that fucking Flag.
So I said, 'Oh...You want me to give your selfie a 'like' huh?...I don't give my likes out all willy nilly. You have to earn that shit. Show some camel toe, pinch your nipples, feed the perv in me...something...Dayum!!! I mean, 'likes' don't grow on trees you know. They are finite to be given out sparingly.
I was hoping to see some hot chicks....::pouts:: Ohh well....
We can put makeup on Momo lol.
@ LZAPERVERT...Only if it's due to a female leaving a forehead print on my stomach and red lip prints around my....Shut my mouth
lol. Awwww, no drag race for you?
She can drag that.....across this.....LOL!
Wow, @ 3:50 - 4:06 this video almost went in another direction. LOL!!!
Wait, What?! LMAO!!!
So I medicated while taking a Sauna Treatment by way of a Solo Sesh consuming some Sativa Wax.
When I finally made it back to my bed and getting ready to medicate some more, I realized after I had gotten all comfortable, that I had left my Sativa Wax near the Sauna.
Eh, Oh well, Indica Sauce it is. I suppose I'll be in a "Canna-Coma" soon. ^_-
It seems it's catchy to say, "Cheers", prior to taking a rip from a Bong or Dab Rig when recording yourself.
I choose not to be "normal"....I think I'll say, "To The Box".
I'll say it like the Original Batman played by Adam West when he would say, "To The Batcave". LOL!
So what do I mean when I say, "To The Box"?....Well, maybe I mean the Lemarchand's Box, maybe I don't.... Wink, Wink...
That feeling when you have a day off from work
That feeling when you realize there is no school today
That feeling when you know tomorrow is another day off
That feeling when you're on paid time off
That feeling when you've just started your vacation
Every day is a weekend, holiday, vacation all rolled up into...well...Every day
That's RETIREMENT! ^_^
LMAO. Why am I always the target? Oh yeah, I do have that bulls eye on my head don't I.
Hey I don't like spunk in my hair so I have to give men something to aim for ;)
Well, don't forget to wear a pair of glasses or shades or as I like to call them...Her Eye Protection. Hahaha!
I have two pairs just in case one gets dirty.
But, but...I thought you like it dirty.
I like "oh Daddy" dirty not eww gross dirty.
The difference between "oh Daddy" and "eww Gross" dirty is "acceptance". Hahaha!
I will take a turkey leg if your going to the fridge :)
Damn,Mogy...Why you gotta throw me under the bus like that!?!
@Payne......Payback for that commercial post...lol
-cracks up some more- Aww...don't hate I threw out your night job!
-grabs a bag of popcorn-
@Payne...Well, you were incorrect, but everyone makes mistakes...and like you....sammiches! lol
So....Mogy...Does this mean we have to spank that ass to get you to make us sammiches when we come visit this summer????
I'm unvolunteering myself from spanking his ass...no offense intended bro lol
ROFLMAO @ Raven.
You might get a contact buzz LMAO!!
Yay! Benefits! hahahaha
Bad mogy :P
@ xTheCrookedCrossx...No offense taken. LOL!
@ xXxPaynexXx...MOGY doesn't get his ass Spanked.....He does the Spanking.....LOL!
@ Liliancat...Sis, she started it. Wait, maybe I did, but let's just say she did. LOL!
-busts out laughing- Without the utensils.
LOL Yummy Mummy :)
Now that's a sammich
Hey Momo, say meat :)
There she goes again....Security! lol
Have you ever been high, got horny, started watching a porn video and began to self-pleasure yourself and then get a YouTube notification pop-up pertaining to a new video having been uploaded by someone you're subscribed to so you click over to watch the video while absentmindedly still pleasuring yourself, then once that video ends, you realize what you're doing, but can't remember why? Then it dawns on you that you were watching an adult video so you click back to it and carry on without missing a beat.
Asking for a friend.....
A Mother of a 21-year-old daughter decides to visit a new Massage business she had overheard her daughter talking to one of her friends about.
However, when she gets there, she is asked to get completely naked.
Thinking this must be some new wave thing and not wanting to seem like a prude, she does.
To her surprise, one thing leads to another and she is given a 'Happy Ending'. She was very embarrassed.
She was even more surprised when they paid her.
She told them that this was the weirdest Massage Parlor she'd ever been to. Who goes for a massage and leaves having been creampied?
The staff looks around at each other and then one person spoke up informing the lady that it was a Porn Set.
Ladies, if you're taking the Plan-B Pill every morning like a daily supplement, I don't know whether to fist bump you or submit your name to the Institute of Human Sexual Behavior to be a case study. LOL!
Guys, if a female tries to convince you that having sex with her is mainly for your pleasure and how honored you should be to "get some"....Run!!! You don't need that type of negativity in your life.
Ok, but run after you've had sex with her though. LMAO!
After medicating, Lady Death (LD) and I have a chit-chat.
LD: I see you switched from Opioids to Cannabis for Pain Management.
LD: So it looks like I won't see you as soon as I had anticipated.
ME: I hope not, but can you do me a favor?
LD: A favor? From Death? (The balls on this guy) *sighs* What is it?
ME: Send Nudes! LMAO!
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