The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.



Abraham Lincoln

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.



Anthony Burgess

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.



Albert Einstein

Your bank account can be overdrawn, but it can never be overfilled.

If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front.

In the morning you beg to sleep more, in the afternoon you are dying to sleep, and at night you refuse to sleep.

I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems.

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.



Oliver Herford

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.



— Joan Rivers

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.



Steve Martin

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.



Ron White

Love is like a fart, if you have to force it, it's probably crap.

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.





ELAYNE BOOSLER

COMMENTS

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xRobin3x
05:30 Feb 06 2015

pick one of the 6 lol really mess with there heads. lol

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Since I missed a lot. I decided to wipe the section clean and hopefully I won't miss anymore days of quotey goodness. xD