...it is no secret that I can't stand my new job. Today is a great example of why.
The office is empty.
On a normal day, I have little to do. With less than half-staff in the office... there is nothing to do. I haven't even received an email since Wednesday at 11:34AM.
I'm updating my résumé to show all this new experience... the new job hunt is on.
...like an elephant, they never forget. And then they'll sit on you and try to squeeze you like a tube of toothpaste until they get every last drop of blood out of you.
All of you. Just fuck off and die.
I'm doing the best I can. Perhaps you should also give that a try for a change.
...this job is like a big game of "Pin the Tail on the Donkey."
A problem arises. The problem is the donkey. There is a solution - the tail. We have to fix the problem by putting the tail on the donkey.
We're blindfolded, spun in a circle three times and then told we have to find the right tail in a tub full of tails, and then pin the tail on the donkey, but the donkey is invisible.
I think that is the closest analogy I could come up with that doesn't involve scat references.