Joli's Vampire Journal

Joli's Journal

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You've spilled your profile on me; I think it's going to stain.
19:02 May 12 2007
Times Read: 954

I've spent a couple of hours going through profiles, portfolios, and journals this morning. I ate a pear and slogged through so many dismal attempts to introduce self to public. 14-year-olds who start their first lines with "fuck" in one capacity or another, usually in some threatening posture of insecurity. What about this person could possibly now compel me to read forward other than checking to see if they're in compliance with VR rules?

A slew of photos taken in the bathroom with an attempt at sexually provocative poses maybe? For the record, let me assure everyone that

A. If you're holding the camera in your own hand and shooting at the mirror, it ain't sexy.

B. If your toilet, toothbrush, toilet paper roll, and soiled towel are featured in the photo, no matter how you arch your back or lift that shoulder and look back to the camera...not sexy!

I think what worries me most is how unaffected I am by it. I wonder at my own inability to register a soft sadness by it all, much less outrage. I just go through the violent and exploitive, the angry and weak without even my pear losing its appeal. I am even desensitized by the word, "desensitized."

It's a cancer of its own. A small black invasion that begins innocuously until before I realize it, a piece of me has already died. I hope that it is not the bigger piece of me. I LIKE being affected.