AngelofDusk's Profile at Vampire Rave.

I do beg you to be forgiving as I am HTML Retarded and having a bit of issues with my profile and background.... Please revisit again later to see any changes made.... as it says:

"I am and Always Will Be A Constant Work in Progress"

As is with the story of all those who are great I started off as a mere nothing. As I grew as did my soul. My soul being ages old in each life its true power had to be found. I grew to be who I now am. From a loley maid to a powerful protector.
I stand with blood on my blade. Never hesitating to seek vengance upon those who harm. I have lost my charge. I now roam in search of the next in line.
My power you ask. The one I spoke of. Its root is that of love. Undying love. A warrior is what I have evolved into.
A symbol or strength and fear. Interlaced is compassion and soul felt love.

In Loving Memory
Thomas Aaron Ling
October 27, 1993-Feburary 19, 2008

My nephew. My sisters youngest. The only son of my brother-in-law. At 14 he felt the world to much... Felt life no longer worth living. In my heart and in my Memories will he live on. I pray to the heavens.... that his journey to his next life be one of happiness... all that I can hope is that in the moment of his fatal desicion that he was at peace with himself and his thoughts no matter how wrong they were... were his own.... and that he had done what he truely had set out to do. I pray that there were no last moments of regret... and I pray that he left this world in comfort and not in fear. I love you my darling boy. With your beautiful soul stealing blue eyes.... and your foxlike boyish smile.... and your heart which was much to big for some one of your age. May Your soul rest in Peace.

Who Am I???

You Ask Who Am I... Well this is my answer to the best that I can give using words....

I am me. I can not claim to have special powers. I feel that I may have the beginings of such but nothing that I have really tapped into or been taught to use ect. I have been told on several occasions that when looking into my eyes one see's a very old soul. A lost soul if you like. A person I bumped into said that my soul walks the earth in search of something... maybe righting wrongs. I have had very vivid dreams of Irish hills and the sound of the ocean... and of cliffs... and of a cris blade that struck a terror in me that was completely and wholey terrible. Of a girl in my care... and being chased by the parents and neighbors of this child. Saying that I was the demon and that I should BURN.

I am a spiritual person by nature. I have this hubris.. my fatal flaw... I can find the good in EVERY ONE and EVERY THING. This in turn makes it easy to become a victim. Of late I have learned to curb this habit of mine. The upside of my thought pattern I dont judge by what is on the outside. I feel like each person has a right to look the way they choose. The way I see it is.... If you are wierd I say it because your actions and heart are weird. If you are a bad person in my opinion it is because you have given me a reason to think such a thing.

Outside of my internet life I am a recently single mother of 2 very beautiful daughters. I have found my purpose for this life. I thought growing up that i was suppose to be important. Not important in a vain I need to be important way. When I gave birth to my first child it came to me how I would be important. Then the several near death experiances I came across with my second child in the womb.... I again realized what my true purpose is. My children are destined to be great and my purpose is to be here as their teacher and protecter. Yes I realize that every mother is suppose to feel this way. I feel that my ideals are less ideals and more accurate. Regardless... I have 2 beautiful girls... One born July 30th the youngest born September 1st.

I work constantly as a cocktail waitress. This being an ideal job for it gives me my social interaction that I so crave.

I am a very friendly person until given a reason to be other wise. Dont be shy... talk to me.
Also Please Please do take the time to visit my Journal :o)

What Tickels Me Sweetly

* I absolutely ADORE Luis Royo. To show women in such a powerful way is just something that is amazing. I adore them all....
* I love Music
* Open mindedness
* Intelligance
* Positive people
* My kids
* Learning.... always and forever learning
* Music... many different kinds of music... country and blue grass do rate very low on the like scale
* Warm sincere people
* Warm... not Hot weather
* Cool... not COLD weather
* Rain
* Garden Spiders
* Wine Glasses
* I love to Read
* All kinds of different foods

What is it that Irritates the Hell Out of Me?

Please pay special attention to this section. For I dont feel I have many dislikes but for me to post them here means that they are strongly felt dislikes!

* Stupidity
* Unwillingness to learn
* Lazy people
* Snotty snooty "I'm better than you" types of people. If you think you are better than me then in fact I am better than you for the simple fact that I believe that you can only be better than the other person in question by having a better heart... even then it is still open to opinon.
* Slutty classless people. No I dont want to exchange nudes with you. No I dont want to talk dirty to you. No I dont think I would ever like to "hook up" with you. And No honey... Dancing on the tables at the bar to "Your a crazy b*tch" doesnt make you look like a sex goddess... it makes you look stupid.
* Did I mention I hate stupid people?
* Closemindedness. I believe what works for me. I do enjoy good enlightening conversation and debate... but dont tell me the way I think is wrong. I wont tell you the way you think is wrong. So dont shove your ideals and beliefs down my throat.
* Rude Hateful people. If you have nothing nice to say then dont say anything at all. Constructive critisim is welcome. But to just be blatenly mean is not something I tolerate. If you think its ok to say something mean to me then I WILL retaliate with what ever hateful thing I have to say. I dont like being like that so dont force me to be. You'll regret it.
* Stupid Questions. I appreciate that every body has there moments. Dont abuse yours
* Fake People. Your intelligance, wit, and compassion is what impresses me. Not the amount of people you know or your social status or what mommy and daddy gave you blah blah blah you get the point. Be real with me and I with you.
* At the moment I despise everything HTML. It confuses me and is becoming the bain of my existance.
* Invasion of personal space. I like my little bubble. I only allow a small amount of people to invade that little bubble. I get pretty uncomfortable when my little bubble is invaded.
* Nosey to the point of being rude type people. No I wont tell you my bra size. No I wont tell you how I like it in bed. Dont ask or else be blocked. There are many other examples. I'm easy to talk to and willing to share much about my life and who i am, but dont be rude about how you talk to me. I hate obnoxious flirty type things. Like pinching/slapping/patting my butt. NO. lol

What is Love Exactly?

This section of my profile is of what I have recently come to think about love. Now some of these are random unorganized thoughts and I am still searching myself for what my true definition of love is but here we go....

Love exists. Always has and always will. I believe in "love at first sight" though I dont believe that it is truely "at first sight" because those we love at first sight are more than likely those who we have shared past lives with. I believe that, in simple terms, our souls/spirits... are broken apart and distributed throughout the cosmos. I feel that it takes having those other "peices" in our lives to make us whole... Soul mates if you will.
With that said... I believe that we as "humans" ... flesh... and hormones... and what have you... overlook those who we are truely suppose to be inlove with due to the primal thinking of "You can only find Love with a person you are sexualy attracted to." It dawned on me that our souls know no sexual orientation. It doesnt feel the urge for sexual gratification. There for I believe it very possible to have a "life partner" and not in the homosexual meaning. I believe that I can be completely hederosexual but find my love peace and wholeness by just having my best chick friend in my life and sharing things with her. Though I crave the sexual connection with men.... I feel that it is possible to feel complete by understanding this.... it IS ok to love a person and not be with that person. This gives one the freedom to love like they want to love but at the same time doesnt restrict them to being with and loving just that person. Love suffers when there is too much obligation. NOW dont think me to be some one who believes in infidelity. If you have promised yourself to one... keep to that promise. But you can love some one deeply and have no obligation to them.

more on these thoughts as they come to me in a more clear fashion... :o)

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

(the one pointing is whom this section is about.... the one in the red... was my best friend at the time..... who sorely betrayed my love and trust by praying on my nieveness(sp?) about drugs... he brought it into my home under my nose and came around my children in a very tweeked out high state.... though he still has a place in my heart as some one who has been very benificial to my life.... i can no longer say that we are friends..... but on with the reason this picture is here)

Alright so here is the added part of this Love section. In short time events have taken place that only reaffirm my ideas for me. There is one person in my life that has made the world dissapear save for him and myself. My heart wilts when he walks away and brightens so much my face is blinding when he is near. I have truelly found that I love this person so much that it is no longer a joy to love... it is the most painful experiance of my life. Never in my life has my heart hurt. This was the first time he had to leave. Keep in mind that he lives in Liverpool England and I live in Houston Texas. He comes to Houston every few months because of the band that he is apart of.
There are very few people that you connect with... and even more few that leave a lasting mark on your very soul.
This is definately one of my best examples of "It is ok to Love some one with every part of your being... and not be with them...." I can definately say that I am a lucky woman. So many go through life only dreaming of that special some one.... That soul mate... the one that you can feel the completion of your soul the moment you make eye contact. It truely is just a fictional pipe dream to most. But I promise you it is so much more... so real... never doubt.... just keep looking. I may never spend my Life with Adam... marry him or otherwise... Fate lined us up for some reason... but made sure to keep that "line" very defined and thick.... We could not possibly be together right now.... It isnt our time... and this life time may never make it to that "time" but I know that eventually... in some life time we will be together.... Joined some how... Linked cosmically.... beyond all real understanding..... I have met the soul of my dreams. I am fortunate in that.... and I even have the luck of being able to spend even just a few short moments with him....

(here is where you see me in my most sincere happy state.... sadly it rarely happens... and nor do I even notice that this man has that much of an effect on me.... apparently I glow with a radiance unmatched when he is there.....)

My Best Love

So let me begin by explaining to you all what I mean by Best Love before I go off telling you of her. The term Best Love was created by me for this one special person. It truely ties into the previouse section about love. Best Love is a combination of Best Friend and True Love. I dont call her my best friend for that is truely cheapening how and what she truely is to me. She is my best friend but is also my "true love" in a very spiritual meaning.
SO now that being said I shall begin to tell you why this is even here.
The picture above is of Keisha. A very very dear person in my life. We truely havent been friends very long at all. BUT in the time that we have spent together we have both become very close and found to be very very special to eachother.
This girl is my best love for the simple fact of she is truely my muse in human form. I believe (and only recently has this come to my attention) that she and I were destined to meet and be with eachother for the soul purpose of her being my muse. All my life I have had my own ideas on faith and religion and so on so forth. All of the things that make me openminded. But i felt so empty and apithetic to it all for the simple fact that I had NO one around to share these ideas with and be perfectly on the same page with. When I met Keisha her and I didnt hit it off RIGHT away. Due to human life and nature it did take some time. Since meeting her my mind is so full of thought and ideas and just creativity. Every thing in my life is brighter and more interesting. Colors, Smells, everything. Its just more vibrant than I have ever in my life thought. I have this overwhelming feeling of good energy and love and life since I have met her. I say she is my muse for the fact that I am so much more open and creative while speaking and seeing her. It is amazing the things I think about and want to write and do when she is in the same room as I... sadly when we leave eachother that creativity and thought slowly begin to fade. Dim if you will. And by the time I get home and sit down to put pen to paper it is as if all thought has stopped. Since being with her and having our late night ihoping conversations my world has changed as has my though proccess and way of viewing. I dearly dearly love this woman and even if time and distance seperates us She will ALWAYS be a HUGE part of my life.

Those Whom Care For Me

DO NOT BITE ME. MESSAGE ME FINE. BITE ME NO. Please... I mean... REEEEEAAALLLLYYY.... if all you can do is click a button to try and start conversation then you really have no interest in getting to know who I am. There is no creativity in biting.... type in 5 little words instead and you will get a better responce than if you just bite. This whole talking to people ISNT rocket science. This is the internet.... the fear of rejection is really just plain silly I mean come on.... do you REALLY care if the person you message doesnt respond?!?!?!?!?! same thing happens when you bite right???? so instead of biting JUST TYPE A DAMN MESSAGE!!!!!
The End.... True Story....

Member Since:	Aug 04, 2007
Last Login:	Feb 05, 2009
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