Here are some poems I have wrote...
**Red Rose**
Red Rose, so bright and vibrant
Red Rose, so full of life
You stand out more then any other
Red Rose, you are your own, there is no imposter
But then you are pulled out of your home and drained of life
You are still beautiful but not the same
Red Rose, you'll never but the same
You are still your own but now there is an imposter
They won't go away, they're here to stay
Red Rose, you shall never be free
-To The First Guy, Who Broke My Heart-
~Learn A Lesson~
Scilence is a verture, I have once been told but that saying has grown old. Old as the feelings I felt for you.
Not one false but all is true. Your old history to me, oh my love why cant you see?
You played with my heart from the very start. If only you would understand, why won't you let me take your hand?
How dare you call yourself a man! Your so weak for useing me. I think now your starting to see, All the pain you
have been causing me. Why can't you just let me be, who I truly am to me?
My fingers trace the dotted line, that you simply just can't seem to find. The truth can't define all the wasted time, I have spent with you on my mind.
Just remember, silence is a vurchue, oh yes dear, its so very true, I'm way OVER YOU!
To My X-Boyfriend (Todd)
*Just To Let You Know*
My mind can wonder from thought to thought,
There for my love shall not be bought,
I feel like a slave underneath your touch,
Even though everyone makes such a fuss,
Your laugh echoes in my ears,
Which brings those mournful tears,
It is the taste of your lips that I crave,
Which makes me feel like a slave,
Bewitched by your eyes,
How I pray that it's not all lies,
I grow to you more each day,
That's why this is what I must say,
I care for you more than you'll ever know,
I love you even though,
I might not always let it show.
* Untitled *
People talk so much shit
They lie and they cheat
Sometimes they just need beat
They act like they know
But really they are just low
Crawling and begging for something
They don't need
All they want to do is lead
When yet all they know how
To do is follow
Oh how their souls are so hollow
Spreading the word
Of something they only herd
Every body be on the alert
Rumors will fly
Your life might slip by
Friends will put you to the test
Causing you so much stress
Chose between right and wrong
Or your friendship won't last very long
Now is the time to pick your way
Will you bring it up or just let it lay
Slander will never let you alone
There for you can't ever be free
*Missing You*
I love this one!
The bed is empty
An the sheets are cold
Your pillow lays unrested on
As I lay alone
My body longs for you
It is my soul that cries to you
Nothing seems right when you're not around
I wake up expecting to see your face
But roll over to an empty space
My hair is pulled up
An my face is unclean
I have no need to look beautiful
For you I have not seen
It should not be long till I
See you again, it just seems
Like its been forever
Yet soon we will be together
Pardon me for missing you so bad
I just seem to get so sad
When we can't be as one
My heart feels as though it weights a ton
~To My Mother~
*Wish for Innocence*
I see through eyes that never saw
And what I see is crystal clear
The superficial wanderings are
Like those of a ripple
In a pond
And though I try with all my might
Her sorrows still, her dreams bright
To tell her of the cruel dark world
But the truth of life
Will too soon be unfurled
In ecstasy she meets new ways
That drowns her soft sweet melody
And suck her from her keen delight
Her smile is bloomed
Trough deeds not right
As she stumbles, I see her fall
Through the innocence of all her years
And even then, I can not say
If she has learned my wisdom
And dreamed my day
~This is my first poem~
*The Dream*
As I'm laying in my bed it starts to rain
The rain reminds me of you
As I fall asleep I start to dream
The most wonderful dream I ever had
When my dream is almost over I am awakened
by the sound of thunder and startled by the
sight of lightning outside of my window
It's at this point of time that I start to realize
how much I really love you
As I fall back to sleep the dream returns and every night
since then my dream seems to be
continued, it's a dream with no end
But only if you could know how much
I wish you could make my dream reality
^ A Walk in the Mountains^
The sky is gray
Not a star in sight
The ground is dusted with snow
The cold breeze nips at my nose, like it doesn't want me there
I hear birds chirping, as they get ready to settle down for the night
I can see my own breath slowly seeping from my mouth
Then rain hits my face and everything seems to freeze,
like its been shut off, the plug has been pulled
I can't see anything but I still can hear the water
tricking down the stream as it heads to the ocean,
where the white foam covers all of its shores
I suddenly here my heart racing as you step in to my sight,
right by my side then I remember where I am, and that your with me
All of my worries seem to be blown away into that gray sky,
where there's not a star in sight
I used to have a real BIG problem with drugs. It became my way of life for about two years until one day I woke up very hung over and layin next to a table of drugs that I promised myself I would never do. For most drug addicts it would be like a little kid in a candy store. However I could not belive what I had let myself become. Since that day I have not tuched any drugs. Although I do drink once in a while.
Drug of Choice
About Todd:
Why do I crave for you?
Your like a drug I can't afford
The time we spend together is never enough
It feels like when I need you the most
Your ripped away from me
But being with you just feels right
You put a smile on my face
And make my heart race
Your so addicting to me
I can never put you down
An over dose of your love could
Never be a bad thing
I need no other now that your my new habit
Only you would never hurt me like all the others would
Thats why your my drug of choice
If you don't understand this one, ask, I might explain it to you, if I trust you enough!
No how dare you say that! Its not true! I know its not. Theres something I've got to say. I want to tell you who I really am deep dopw inside. Howdare you label me! First you conpare me and now this?! NO! Lies all lies, shes coming back I lvoe her. Execpt me for what I want to be! ME! But who is she? Have I fallen in love with a fake? What to do, what to do? How could you! How dare you! No! Lies! I don;t want ot hear it. They are all lies...Right? Or maybe, maybe I messed up again. AGAIN!? Danger Danger!Wait, give me time to think. wHat have I done? How could she? No! Why. Why me? Why my life? Get on, move on, its not real, no truble here. Keep moving. Wait, I'm confused! Who was the one really putting on the front? Telling the lies? Not being theirself?....Its was me, it was me all along.
ME!
I wrote this one night when I was very suicidal
I am imperfect, just a fly on a horses back. Not wanted here. So why am I here. I love but can't be loved. I make to many mistakes to be forgiven all the time. So I can't be loved. I'm a lost soul, lost in my own hate. No one gets me, they don't understand. I can't make it stop, it wont go away. I'm like a rose. You may look and smell but try to pick me, try to get to know me and you'll get nothing but thorns. My inside is not nice, I'm black , dark, crule, and mean. I hate myself! I am not perfect, but I want to be. I'm going to make myself perfect, wait and see!
Why should I write about my soul and heart. For my soul is dark and lonely while my heart is broken and it has given up. The process has started. I'm dieing slowly inside and its starting to show on the outside. I tried to end it but I didn't. They wouldn't let me go. I have thought of going to hell, being tortured for ever. However if I just let myself die, I'll stay here on earth as a lost spirit, forever trapped, wondering, wanting to be free. I can't stand it. This has to stop. You have to make it stop! Before I do...
The cold blanket brushes against my skin, like death sweeping over my body. It's to much for them. They say I laugh in their face. Ha! To much, the couldn't live one day in my skin, Haunting dreams, waking up in a cold sweat every night. Fear of what the next day might bring. Memories always coming back, dancing in my head. Always taunting me. Fear of what people think of me. The looks they give me. I must fool their eyes, make them see whats not there. Not wanting to go to sleep becasue of the fear of a night mare. Something so horrible you can't speek of it, flash backs of it forever in my head. Fuck! What a life, why won't someone just come save me? All I want is out...
I have to seem perfact on the outside. Everthing I though was real, is so fake. It was all lies! My heart aches for love and to be cared for. I feel lost in this dark room with unknow things all around me. They say they cant stand to be near me, I make them ill. They can't handle me! HA! I hate them. I want to hurt them back, like they hurt me. I want to cause them pain! They will suffer, mark my word, they will feel my rath, pain ,and all suffering that they put me through everyday will come back to them 3 times over!
I have some more in my journal, check them out sometime!
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~Here are some quotes I enjoy~
> You only do what you choose to do!
>The next time you feel like complaining, remember: Your garbage disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world.
>Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
>We're like a 7-11, we're not always doing business but we're always open. -The Boondock Saints-
>I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.
>Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
>Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
>Every one has a photogenic memory, some just don't have film.
>One cannot refuse to eat just becasue there is a chance of being choked.
>A fish swimming around comfortably and (he thinks) unobtrusively, flicking here and there amonggst the kelp and the plankton. Draw away for the long view and there's the kicker: It's a goldfish bowl ~( Anyone know what book that is from? I'm reading it right now, for school )~
~-~I Came Up With The Rest Of These~-~
>I can wear many masks but today I chose to wear my own.
> New shoes are beautiful when you first get them...But the more you wear them the better they get....But only if they fit!
>My mood can change as often as my hair color...so if I wake up in a bad mood...I aways have the ability to make it a better day
Oh Yea, and about the two icons....
I'm bisexual! If You don't like that, you can go fuck yourself!
You can get a hold of me....
Yahoo- bad_little_girl_18@yahoo.com
Messenger- bad_little_girl_18
Msn- Todds_little_girly@hotmail.com
Messenger- I dont have this right now but I will be getting it once again, soon I hope!
MySpace- http://www.myspace.com/lost_child16
Background Information...
Full Name- Jessica
Nickname- Jess, Jesse, Icey, Reeses, Bobo (only Todd), and Crule whore (only Leah)
Birthday- September 21st. 1989
Location- Ummm, yeah right, like I'm going to tell you
Hair color- This week....its dark blonde
Eye color- They change with my mood, mostly green or blue
Height- 5' 6
Heritage- Irish, Scottish, Dutch, German
Siblings- A half brother and a half sister
Righty/Lefty- Righty
Fetish- BITEING, being tied up, scratchin, stuff like that
Do You...
Belive in god- Not sure
Like our president- Hes ok
Support abortion- No!
Support gay marriage- Its up to that person what they want to do with their life
Have a cell phone- I have a nextel, Heck yes!
Like to ship- Oh yeah
Think your attractive- Somedays, not a lot
Swear a lot- Like a fuckin trucker
Have you ever...
Drank alcohol- Yep yep
Stolen anything- Shhhh, dont tell
Dyed your hair- Lots of times
Done somethin illegal- ummmm...HeHe
Cut your own hair- Yeah
Taken drugs- ummm, I cant remember...
Gotten into a fight- Yep
Been hit on- Duh
Been called a tease- yes but "you have to stop sleep around to be a tease" its from a movie
Been in a car accident- Once when I was nine
Favorite Things...
Color- Black or blue
Foods- I have lots of different ones
Animal- Wolf
Bands- To many to list
Electronic- Cell phone
Alcohol- Sloe gin, vodka
Scent- Coconut, sweet pea, calvin klein's euphoria, and many more
Store- Hot topic
Dream Guy...
Hair color- Any
Eye color- Any
Height- Taller then me
Weight- Not to much but just enough
Style- Any
Qualities- Funny, sweet, has to be a good listener
Colgne- Number one is Axe
Have a boyfriend now?- Yes, I love you Todd!
The Last...
Tv show you watched- King of the Hill
Movie you saw- Dirty Danceing: Havana Nights (its on now)
Person you thought about- Duh, Todd
Others...
Number of tattoos- Three
Number of piercings- Three in both ears and one in my tongue
Number of things in my past I regret- A lot
What country would you like to visit- Ireland and Germany
How do you want to die- In my sleep with my loved ones next to me
Ever been beaten up- Yes
Ever been drunk- Oh my god, have I ever
In the past mounth have you ever been dumped- Nope
In the past month have you been to the mall- Yea
Your weakness- people i love asking me for something, I always give in
Your fears- the dark and being alone
Your most overused phrase on an instant messenger- LoL
Thoguhts first eaking up- Todd, what I'm wearin that day, what time it is
Your best physical feature- my eyes or my hair on a good day
Your bedtime- dont have one
Your most missed memory-I did not like my child hood, many bad memorys...
Pepsi or coke- both
McDonalds or Burger King- Burger King
Single or group dates- both
Tea or soda- Tea
Chocolate or vanilla- chocolate
Cappuccino or Hot chocolate- hot chocolate
Have you been in love- Yes, and Im in love right now!
Do you want to get married- Yes
Do you belive in yourself- With some things
Do you get motion sickness- Never have before
Do you like thunderstorms- I love them, they get me going...
~If you happen to want to know more about me I have a web site you can check out! I can
always use the hits and visitors. www.piczo.com/lostchild16 Thanks for your help!~
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Your clan is a dysfunctional one. That is because you are a Malkavian. Something is poisonous about this clan's blood that drives all those embraced to madness. However, in this madness, you tend to have great insight. Unfortunately, people just take it as senseless ramblings. In every family there is an insane one. You're it.
What Vampire Clan Do You Belong To?
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You have wings of STEEL. No one's really sure why, but at this point in your life you've shut off emotion to the point of extreme apathy. You are cold and indifferent much of the time...or perhaps you're just a good pretender. Next to impossible to get close to, even those who do never see the real you. It's entirely possible that YOU don't even know the real you. You have a certain fascination or attraction to destruction on a massive scale - disasters, perhaps even death or the concept of the Apocalypse. Because you hold so much inside, one day you're simply going to snap. Then the mask will fall away, and your true wings will be revealed. Until then you will deal with whatever comes your way in icy bitter silence and acceptance. On the positive side, you are fearless and immeasurably strong - not much can crack through your defenses. You intrigue people, who can't help but wonder why you're the way you are. A loner and one who spends much of their time brooding and contemplating life and death - you are a time bomb waiting to explode and create some destruction of your own
~Music~
AC-DC
AFI
Aqua
Billy Idol
Black Sabbath
Blondie
Blink-182
Cold
Coldplay
Cradle of faith
Def Leppard
Deftones
Disturbed
Fallout Boy
Godsmack
Good Charlotte
Guns-N-Roses
Incubus
Judas Priest
Kiss
Korn
Linkin Park
Marilyn Manson
Metallica
My Chemical Romance
Nine Inch Nails
Nirvana
Papa Roach
Pink Floyd
Poison
Puddle of Mud
Queen
Rob Zombie
Seether
Slipknot
Static-X
System of a Down
TaTu
The Beatles
The Eagles
The Rolling Stones
The Used
The Who
White Stripes
^~ I know I forgot a whole lot of great bands however I will be putting more on here as I remember them. ~^
Songs I love!
Black Sabbath, Pardanoid
Finished with my woman 'cause she couldn't help me with my mind
People think I'm insane because I am frowning all the time
All day long I think of things but nothing seems to satisfy
Think I'll lose my mind if I don't find something to pacify
Can you help me, occupy my brain?
Oh yeah
I need someone to show me the things in life that I can't find
I can't see the things that make true happiness, I must be blind
Make a joke and I will sigh and you will laugh and I will cry
Happiness I cannot feel and love to me is so unreal
And so as you hear these words telling you now of my state
I tell you to enjoy life I wish I could but it's too late
I Fucking Hate You
Godsmack
(Faceless)
For everything you do
I'd like to swallow you
And everyday I'm gonna blame you
Even if you justify
Every fucking bullshit lie
It only makes me want to break you
You pull me down
And you crucify my name
You make me insane
It's broken now
Don't ever look my way
Don't even think I'm playin'
'Cause I fucking hate you
You're such a liar
And I love to hate you
You're all the same to me
When you repeated me
Take advantage of me
The only thought I get of you sickens me
Everybody knows your fate
You're everything I fucking hate
And I'm everything that you could never be
You pull me down
And you crucify my name
You make me insane
It's broken now
Don't ever look my way
Don't even think I'm playin'
'Cause I fucking hate you
You're such a liar
And I love to hate you
You're all the same to me
I fucking you hate you
You're such a liar
And I love to hate you
You're all the same to me
(Fuck you)
(Fuck you)
(Fuck you)
You pull me down
And you crucify my name
You make me insane
It's broken now
Don't ever look my way
Don't even think I'm playin'
'Cause I fucking hate you
You're such a liar
And I love to hate you
You're all the same to me
And I fucking hate
You're such a liar
And I love to hate you
You're all the same to me
Fuck you (fuck you)
Fuck you (fuck you)
Fuck you (fuck you)
Fuck you (fuck you)
NIN
Hurt
I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear this crown of shit
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feeling disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way
I'm still workin on putting more...
This is my first tattoo, it's on my lower back. I just got some chinese symbols on my foot and a tribal rose
on my ankle. I also have my tongue pierced. I don't think that that bad for only being 16. I plain on getting
a lot more done.
I have many different looks. One day I can be a hard core bitch and then the next I could be the girl next door.
I'm very sad and dark inside.
I have many dark and wild desires, as you can see...
I Love My Pussy!
I am deeply in love with my boyfriend, †odd. Hes my life. Its very
funny how we got together...We both were in the same shop at
vo-tech and we both liked each other from the min we seen each other. However I was already with someone and †odd did not have the guts to tell me how he felt for me. Then one day I told him about how un happy I was with my boyfriend at the time. I also came out and told him how I felt about him. That night I broke up with my now ex-boyfriend and the next day I started dating †odd. It has been awesome ever since. Not everything has gone smooth but what don't kill you makes you stronger.
♥ I Love You Baby! XoXo ♥
Check his profile out sometime...My Baby!
Other people I love...
This is my godson. Hes almost three years old now and I love him to death. We have nick names for each other and its so cute. I would die for this boy. My boyfriends just became his godfather and I'm really happy about that. Isn't he just so cute?
This is me and my really good friend Jess, but I call her Carder. She always has my back and I always have her. I can tell this girl anything. Love Ya Carder!
This is one of my friends from school. Miss you Chris!
~^~ THIS IS THE ONLY TIME ANYONE WILL SEE PICTURES OF ME ALL FIXED UP REAL NICE, FOR A LONG TIME!~^~
I want to thank everyone who I love and who helped me out in some way...
A big thanks to Juno for the help on getting my porfile working! Check her out sometime.
Many MANY thanks go out to MrEckz for my kick ass background and help with a few other things. Check him out sometime.
Thanks to WillowshadowfoX for the help with all the great coven information. Check her out sometime!
Hugh thanks go out to NightBlossom for the help with my profile colors. Check her out sometime!
*HUGS* TOTAL! give lostchild more *HUGS*
Get hugs of your own
~*I hope You Liked What You Saw And Learned About Me*~
*^* Blows A Kiss And Turns Away *^*
