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Ok...I know that I am totaly patetic...and I dont care for that any more...
I wanted to know how can a feeling dissapeare? Just like that...one moment it is there and then the next...nothing...???
How? Did it happen to any of You? How do you explane it, and what if someone you care about just stops feeling the same?
yeah,and how to stop loving somebody? How to shut down your own feelings and be around as `just a friend`?

feelings are like spells my friend, they just were off. time allows this because we become occupied with other matters at hand, it is as they say "life goes on"...

Yes, I felt that for a whole year, just comming and arriving...round and round...And I said to my self that I can f*** those awful feelings. And now its ok with me ( I hope)
=)

Never had that problem ...*lies*...honestly I have no idea what you mean...*lies again*....I really cannot relate ...*nose growing rapidly* lol

Well if i keep telling myself that, then the feelings will go away right?? ..lalalalalalala i can't hear you feelings......lalalalalalalalala *sigh*

why not just forget about it and stop living off past experiences...

why dwell on things you can't change?

In my opinion, the odd thing about feelings is the way that they never go away. But we only have so much space in our heads, and the old feelings get compacted to make room for new ones, which become 'more important.'

You just have to clarify something to yourself as much as you can, and simplify your own feelings (so diificult to do buthelpful) because, at least in my head, that makes it easier to compact, and unwittingly lay to rest...

yeah i agree with u on that echo u took the words right outa my mouth

Sometimes it's hard to accept, but yes people have the right to have a change of heart. It wouldn't be fair to either part involved to be with someone whom they did not have any fervent emotion for.

As previously stated, You can't dwell on the past. Perhaps you may need to stay away from that person until wounds are healed. It might be difficult to be around someone who is on a different page than you. If love is an emotion and emotions fluctuate based on circumstance, then maybe you'll collide into a situation which may help you ease out of your current dilemma. Rest assured that time does indeed cure all wounds.

"I love you " isn't a promise that the person will love you forever, It's a phrase depicting their current emotion. Think of this as a chapter in your life and just flip the page.

I'll say the same thing I said to a young friend of mine.

Sometimes your heart must be honed in the fires of hell. These experiences is what will make you who you are one day. It may hurt but this is the casting, forging, and shaping of your heart.

The ladies here at VR know what they are talking about.

It's tough to hear "Get on with it." The only thing I can say to help you understand is these are the chances we all take, let go, continue in life, and find someone else.

Please don't think it will happen with every single one you are with, because chances are, the same exact thing happened to them.

Just my two cents.

in the middle of going through this myself right now. actually i think i am pretty close to the end of it. I have to agree with the others,

Life will go on.

in the meantime you just have to sit back and watch things happen in which you have no control over.
it is not going to be fun no matter what, might as well try and let it burn itself out.

Feelings don't just dissapear... they die slowly, so slowly that you don't even notice until its too late and they are gone, but sometimes they come back....

You cant control it, it just happens.

Yes it can happen the only reason it does happen is cause you are so tired of putting up with the bull shit... And yes it has happen to me.. You get to the point where you think ok they are not meant for me so why should I hold them up and stop my life... I dont think you should go through life unhappy when you find the person who steals your heart you will know it's a wonderful feeling...

I'm trying to figure out how to be friends with my recent ex girlfriend myself...I love her so much and she loves me too..but she doesn't want a relationship like that right now....it ain't easy and it drives us both crazy sometimes. If you figure this one out let me know! LOL

sometimes it takes awhile for feelings
to figure out what is going on too.

its hard when the one you love falls out of love with you, eventually it gets easier and at some point you can be friendly toward each other but the hurt takes time to heal and you will get on with your life

First of all Banshee........breathe

I would like for you to just find yourself a quiet space and do this

sit comfortably and close your eyes

breathe in and out of your nose only, very deeply breathe.

now, allow yourself to grieve for what you have lost, dont think about what could i have done differently, what i shouldnt have done.

remember what you yourself brought to the relationship.......your smile, your beauty, laughter, your love.........none of this is pathetic, you are not pathetic.

If you can, try to imagine that even without this other person that you are still all of those things, because you are. And when the hurt is not as bad (and it will pass), You will bring all of these wonderful things that you are for others to enjoy and admire.

I can not answer the why or cause of anothers heart.....dont think that anyone can, for all are different and do things for a cause that we could not ever truly understand......only they can. And really what matters most here is you.

I only hope that you begine to feel better young maiden and that your heart and soul heal.

This was my first post to the forum (im a mosquito now), Im glad it was to you,.


"Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier, in all circumstance."

Faerie

the greif process is different for every person.....some need time and space away from each other...some are able to just turn it off....I almost feel sorry for those who turn off...as in my exreience....they are usually not the happiest people as they tend not to feel as deeply as others also....
how should I put it....emotionally shallow
so to speak....
I know grief hurts...but time will dull the edges on any blade...even that of loss

i realy would like to know to.. Just some people are so close and some of them ar so cloused, so you never know...what i sthe meaning of true filing and what can person give to you is just the dream you live in...
But then the words "Just a freand" comes out...
And all you're dream is ruined.. so you need just... "I WANT TO KNOW" becous i do not...
Sorry if i'm not right...

i only found that at times what i thought was love was really nothing more than lust,its such a fine line

Another thing you can do is think of one or two, or more things that the person did that really got to annoying you. Just concentrait on those, eventually the feelings become bitter, and you start to realize that maybe there wasn't as much there as you thought there was. Sometimes it makes it easier to move on when you can toughen your heart a little

I do belive Deity struck the best cord on this subject!
HellchildDami also made a good point to think about!

I myself have been annoyed and going through this for some tyme .. and I have no problem just closing the door on it .. but unfortunatly for me it's going to be there for the REST of MY LIFE :| ... so I guess in Daermon's eyes I'm emotionally shallow .. all is good in Nic world then hehe

its a b**** to do ive had to do it make yourself hate the porson blame him for your problems itll help some ... i hope

Tank you all...
In the past few days I totaly suppressed my feelings for that person...they are hidden somewhere...They stil exist, but they dont hurt that much...
So maby time is the cure... Tough there is a posbility of recidive...

alrighty...its happened to me...enough that i wonder about reality and the like. one moment i will feel somethign so intensly, and the next, there will be absolutly nothing there. this may be a self-defense mechenism or something of the like. or as the budhists (sp?) say, you become detached, you feel something to the point that you can no longetr feel it.

im going through this myself. and the thing is, ive tried to be friends. he obviously cant handle it. hell, its been two months and last night i cried for him again. when we broke up, there was a hole in me. that hole made me do things i swore id never do. its also smaller though. i found out he lied, so anger has helped close that hole. time has helped, but only in the sense that ive grown numb to the pain i feel for him. every love song i hear makes me think of him, and not my new b/f. if he can be called a b/f (we have yet to go on a date)..its really annoying me.

something that helped me in those first few days was taking everythign he gave me, i put it on my bed adn listened to sappy love songs for an hour and just let myself go. sometimes i cried, sometimes i just stared at it. when i was done i put it all out of sight.

there is nothing wrong with being a bit emotionally shallow....it's simply a defense mechanism.....it's just likely that you would also feel the good things in life a little less tho....being thick skinned is like a doubl edged sword that way

everyone has made some excellent points. Let me give you an example and tell me if I am way off base here. If you love someone you need to love them regardless of their faults. Sure they may do some things that annoy the hell out of you, but those things ought to be less than all the reasons why you love them. It is called unconditional love. My hubby and I made a pact from day one in our relationship to love each other as much as possible and never expect each other to change. You cannot mold someone into the person you want them to be. The changes you make have to be your own otherwise you cannot grow together. True love is unconditional love and tolerance is a two way street.

Realy everybody here is wright in some way...
about an our ago I found out some things that he did when we were still together,and i am totaly pissed of...but it stil hutrts, and tough i am angry at heim i stil love him...
about the selfdefence system...it is good to have it, but if you love somebody,and you know he loves you too, why do you need selfdifence? Isn`t it all about giving and reciving at te same time and not reciving and than when you have to give something back pool up a wall, shut the person out and think only of yourself???

One thing i know for sure. Women love bastards.... Or are at least drawn to them, the honest, loving guy gets treat like dirt. *deep breaths*..

Love kills, ok, fact, If you have ever felt 'true love' before and lost it, the chances are your heart will never heal and you will die with it broken. One day you will see the person for who they are and then all you will feel is dispisement for them.. No more love and no more pain.. I'll drink to that! *raises glass*

I don`t like bastards! I dont say he is a bastard...he has the wright to geel wha ever he feels, but it stil htrts

(i ment in general, not that your x was a bad person).. Tell me i'm wrong women,....

That "bastard loving" is a chain reaction you love a girl but she loves another guy and she acts like a bastard to you, but the guy she loves acts like a bastard to her, because he loves someone else that acts like a bastard to him... but some other girl loves you and you act like a bastard to her and so on...

yes...it is the enchanted circle... how to get out of it? I have an suggestion: treat the one you love like shit...with his/her permition....and everything willl be ok!

probably wouldn`t work...butwhat a hek...it`s worth trying

Wow Zlee You hit the nail right on the head. Dhampir I know what you are saying, and at the end Zlee is right ...

IE .. all men are bastard’s, because half the times they can't see the one girl standing there that does care about or loves ya ... so she's being treated like shit while you're pissing and moaning about the other girl ...

Oh and by the way .. this is in general .. because it's not just the men that are bastard’s ... women are just as much bitches in the same ball park ...

Wow isn't it just great how the world revolves

i agree the world is filled with people like that just look at the government just kno that there are good people out there you just got to look for them they may not be good looking or smart or make alot of money but what realy counts to me is the connection between the two people well hope this helps

ok like i see it like this friends come nad go i had my best friend for 15 years back stab me so i appolgize if this rexponce turns out to be quite negatve but friends yeah great big whoop de do over rated i think but yes i have had those feelings and i have watched them crumble right before me along with the rest or me

I believe woman like " bastards" because they somehow think that they can mold them into perfect men. That which is unattainable is always the most enticing. When it comes too easily, it isn't nearly as attractive.

Him that I love....I wish to be free ...even from me!!

People change and we must accept that ....one day we will all be mean to one another in relationships ...what goes around comes around ...mostly we don't even realise we are being mean to the person who loves us.

Accept that emotions are reactive and adaptable things... they change with every given situation ..sometimes we are not in rythmn with the one we love and they change the way they feel through no fault of their own ..we cannot blame them for that... just as we cannot be blamed ourselves when we are the one leaving a relationship.

Shit happens ...deal with it!!!

I just forget about it and move on. I am sorry that my answer is ignorant but , it is that only one I have.

now that I think of it I agreewith zlee but using some other word than bastard.

I got nothin

I love when people selectivly read ...

"Oh and by the way .. this is in general .. because it's not just the men that are bastard’s ... women are just as much bitches in the same ball park ... "

bastard and bitch were general terms used earlier .. differnt terms could have been used but they were there ..

And for the record most often people don't come to this or these conclusions after just ONE experience, ususally it's more then that ... And many often DO NOT give up hope for what the future will hold ... as you can see from earlier posts on here .. more often then not most people still have an optimistic outlook

Bastard !!!! ...jk....LMAO

Well, HellChildDami, it's not fair! I wanted to post those words you wrote! (gimme five)

...and Dhampir, you bastard! ;>

*pokes dhampir till the release of his girlfriend*

hey,,,you had a good time while I was not here...I am glad, I went to get us something to drink!
*klaps her hands and...
::a bar apears from out of nowere, music starts to play(at the momment :Pantera- Walk)...::
People just get Damphir....e shall judge him!

time... everything takes time
just be patient and you'll be fine

WHaa WHAA WHAA
What a bunch of cry babies..
You all need to learn to suck it up and move on. You are EXACTLY where you are today as a result of your choices, if you dont like where you are ..make different choices in the future. Continuously whining about it only makes you weaker and annoys those around you.