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For this thread I want to know,

-One: Do you consider yourself dominant or submissive? Why?

-Two: What factors do you think lead to a person being dominant or submissive? (I.E. Female, male, vampyre, upbringing, friends, family, lifeforbidden.....)

me-dominant


and really i brakes down to do you want to hold control of your world and take responsibility for what comes or do you want to trust you control to another with hope that they will do what is right

PS if this is a true interest pm me i have a site for you

I'm a switch.


As for what makes a dominate a dom and a submissive a sub is indvidualism as much as it can depend on who they are partnered with. Some Domminate personalities like the control, others enjoy watching the gradification they provide. Just as some subamissives, enjoy giving up control and allowing themselves to take pleasure in pleasureing others.

I am not going to address any sexual aspect that might or might not be intended in this thread,but in plain old life,the dynamic changes according to a situation. Sometimes its best to relinquish "control" simply due to another person's knowledge and skill at somethng we might be doing..for instance,if Im out there helping fix a toilet or a tractor,Im not going to try to tell the expert how to do it.and I make sure that I am there at their beck and call to hand a tool or go get something they ask for.However if im working with that same person in,lets say a horse is injured or something,or I am training that horse,then I am most certainly the one in charge.
Then again,you dont walk into someone else's barn and try to be in charge..thats just plain bad manners.

So ,its an ongoing exchange.
For my own actions,I take complete responsibility.Always.

I am neither sub or dom I don't do power struggles.

Most agree that it is truly the submissive that holds the power over the dom due to the fact that they have the safe word which allows them to intercede on their behalf.

I would have to agree with you Dabs. Because when I think about it,the sub really has to do nothing.They do not have to take responsibility,they are taken care of for the most part moneywise,and they do not have to even choose the clothes they wear.
So then the burden falls on the Dominate to handle all of it.
so,in essence,they dont have to take responsibility for anything really in the real world.

When they want to be punished,to satisfy their sexual needs and wants,hell,all they have to do is commit an infraction of some kind to get their desires fullfilled.
So yes,I do agree that a submissive has more comtrol than meets the eye.

In vampire view I beleive I am both dominant or submissive depending if the other is in need of a dominant person or submissive one in order to learn and grow, but other then that I do not think it belong in this thread and certain it don't belong in this area of the forum... which is about dark network and related areas... not about lifestyle and sexual fetishes and views.


No offense intended. Just feel really uncomfortable and maybe its cuz I am french speaking I do not understand, but I really think this is kind of not in the right place.

im a submissive and like it.though i dont like pain unless its mild.

I am neither. I am both. I believe we all are.

I agree with Oceanne, when it comes to non-sexual life situations, knowledge of a situation determines who is the dominant and who is the submissive. And no one knows everything.

I also agree with Dabs. The submissive is really the one in control when it comes to the sexual side of these terms.

The dominant is really the "slave" to the submissive.

Switch

For me it's in most of the way I grew up. I was used and abused as a child and so therefore spent most of my life dominating others out of fear. I felt that if I didn't dominate them then I'd end up back in situations like I was in at home. I've been submissive to only 2 people in my life, one of them being my current husband. And it's not so much that he dominates me himself as I let him and want to be dominated by him. It's how I show that I've become comfortable enough to let him wear the pants. Sometimes though I put the pants back on and take charge and he doesn't mind it either. His ex wives spent all his money and refused to work. I pull my weight and pinch every penny we've got so he doesn't mind handing over the reigns.

Dominance and submission is all in the mind set of the person so I fully believe that how a person grows up helps in determining how they'll react in those relationships.

Switch
It all really comes down to the details of the situation and/ or person(s) involved

When I first started in the lifestyle I was a sub to a female Mistress for 4 years, then she trained me as a disciplinary Dominant, in all form of corporal disciplines, spankings, paddling, whippings, tree switching , erotique bull whipping, British caning as such.

I have done demos on BDSM techniques and erotique bull whipping, and still have tots and want more.

For this thread I did not mean for it to move into that of a sexual nature. I wanted to discuss how peoples everyday personalitys and lives made them a person more dominate or submissive.

For example, would a submissive person generally not fighter what they want and let others have their way. Your opinions and your thoughts please!!

I think some are like that Sam,but not all.Life presents a constant exchange of power.It might actually be pretty rare that a person would remain in a continuous state of submission in every single situation.

I think there is a name for that..Door matt. Not a very nice name,but maybe thats what it refers to.

Dominance and Submission is sexual in nature. There's no way to get around that, and the practises in the lifestyle are part and parcle og the philosophy For some there's more of a physical aspect of the BDSM, others intellectual D/s

With all due respect Mel, that simply is not true .
Everything we do or say when interacting with others..there is always that ongoing exchange.One is either dominate in a situation or not.

"No two ways around it?"

Im going to give you just one example.


You're going to go apply for a job in something .
Do you mean to tell me that you would walk into your interview acting like you are the boss?

"For example, would a submissive person generally not fight for what they want and let others have their way."


Being submissive in ordinary life (or any other part of life) doesn't suggest "weakness."

A man opening a door so that a woman may enter first could be seen as a submissive act. Is this considered weakness?

Being submissive does in no way equal "doormat."


As far as fighting for what they want, for fans of the UFC, I would point out the personality of the welterweight champion, Georges St. Pierre.

He has what some might consider to be a "submissive" personality yet, he is always at the top of the pound for pound rankings.

Dominance and Submission is not always sexual in nature. I have a dominant personality and it has nothing to do with sexuality. For me, it has to do with confidence, not allow people to mistreat me and being secure in who I am as a person.

It only becomes sexual if people allow it to become that way, or if that's the avenue they want to take it to.

So, do you think it's ever possible for a person to be 100% of either?

Also do you think dominance is all about confidence or is it something else? Something instinctual?

I don't think it is possible for someone to be 100% either way. People are always changing and evolving. They will go through moments when they will have moments of being dominant or submissive- it might be just a small amount, but they are still not fully 100%,

There is something instinctual about it, but there are some other factors as well. They could vary from person to person on why they feel they are one way or the other. I don't feel it is all about confidence, but it does play a part in it.

As far as I know there are five levels,

Dominate/Dominate (absolute control)

Dominate/Submissive (Almost always in control)

Switch (comfortable in both)

Submissive/Dominate(Sometimes in control)

Submissive/Submissive(wants no control)

most people fall into sections 2 and 4, but someone in section 1 will be unhappy with anyone who isn't section 5 and may hurt the partner in order to stay Dom/Dom.

I practise BDSM and in the first 4-5 years was a submissive to a female Mistress. She then trained me as a Dominant and I've been one ever since. I believe the experience makes me a better dominant, as I can empathise with submissives