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Has, "I am a dark person." become a cliché?

Brilliance is never self actualized.

Is Dark self actualized?

Dark = Obscured. Are people who claim to be "dark" taking too much liberty with a word?

An common denominator of those who declare themselves dark, is to jocky for spotlight position.

Most of the time people use the word, it is an obviously gratuitous context.

As if saying.. " No one can see my true nature."

However they are compelled to be center stage, and spotlighted for every notion that assign themselves.

The few people I would consider dark on VR have never implied, or declared themselves as " Dark individuals."

How can a person declare themselves Dark?

Noir, perhaps can be self actualized, but can Dark.

What does a person who declares themselves as dark prospect for socially.

Too often it us evident that most who claim to be Dark, are simply Dim, or have plenty insecurities to hide.

First, it is nice to see someone as Socratic as I usually am.

Second, I also find it cliche and usuless for someone to call themselves "Dark." However, I would not offer any other possible choice for this blackish, self definition. They should just stop.

"Dark" in my opinion has already been over used mostly by those that live a great deal of their time on the computer, not because they are fakes but rather they say they are dark and yet do computer more than experiencing what dark really is.

Hell I don't even think I am a dark person, so don't believe I am. :D

It's completely over used by people any more. If a person is "Dark" they usually do not ever have to label themselves, as someone will have already done so. Therefore anyone who wishes to call themselves dark is doing nothing more than bringing the attention back around to them because that is what they need as an individual, to be noticed, whatever way they can be.

It depends on the individuals idea on the definition or connotation of the word and term.

Most think they are dark just because they listen to dark-esque stereotyped music, and or live that lifestyle because they want to be the outcast for the "I am lashing out" scenerio to take place. The rebel, in other words.

Most of the time it is just the kids that lash out, rebelling from their family life because they get into too many fights over household rules given to them by their immediate parents.

While other still, old enough to know better get into that "dark"-esque lifestyle simply because they are bored and seemingly want to fit into some sort of genre to get their minds rolling away from that boredom.

"Dark", in perspective is self actualized from the above information. As there is that significant mind set of selfishness that seems to deem the individual into something that they truely are not out of spite for the immediate purpose of rebelling as stated above.

The coolness factor could be implicated in this as well. "Dark is cool so I have to do it" to appease those I hang around with, just to get along with them or the depressed "I need the dark, because I have no one else" attitudes.

All describe self actualization in a nutshell. It is all a selfish game to play in the end.

t is an over used word because it's a dark site, if this was another type of site, another cliche' word would be used, therefore mostly it's 'said' to fit in.

Re: ~Deathnite~

I think ~Dab~ was discussing the word use in general and not just on "this" site.

Ok, but as you can see it is mostly used on sites and places as such.

It reminds me of my teenage years when suddenly everyone on a certain channel on irc was saying things like: 'I'm dark, I'm the darkness,' mostly used after entering the channel or started frequenting places and people who were labeled as dark.

What is really a dark person?

I don't know it could be someone who appriciates dark art or someone who suffered a lot and doesn't want to or can't get over it.

Ah, yes.. The stereo archetype of manipulative masses that seem to fall for the title of said exposure. Then comment on stated affliction even if they have none. Just to fit in.

After reading the topic post I have only one thing to say: Never give up your individuality and conform to the crowd.

I think people use the term "dark" in want of being mysterious.

But, how foolish is this? Why introduce yourself to someone you've never met starting out with, "Hello, my name is (insert name here) and I'm mysterious."

OOOOOOOOOOOOO you're mysterious. LMAO!!! By that time, all your mysteriousness is gone. You end up just being another fruit-loop in a society that is a full bowl of fruit-loops without any milk.

In the end, when you've gained experience and hopefully some wisdom, you'll realize that we are all nothing but human.

There is nothing new under the sun.

SS I second that, " cool factor" is a definite influence in most cases. Rebelion is also why certain individuals claim to be " evil".

DeathN- Social Atmosphere motivates trendsters that would declare themselves to be gay just to be accepted on a site that had a majority presence if gay individuals.

It is the mentality that assumes, " Hey, I claim to be one of you, so you have to accept me now."



Too often such individuals are exposed for their shallow interst through candid discloser. Any one that spreads themselves around various subcultures are trendsters, and it is a difficult task to constantly avoid ideals from clashing.

ABio- Ahh yes.. " So mysterious."

Synonomous with, dark, and obscure.

It becomes some what evident that what some call being dark, is walking around with there eyes closed. They want people to assume they are comfortable in " the dark", yet they also want others to fear them.. Or be intimadated by what they interpret/ speculate to be lurking in the dark..

Of the offensive yet non-pathological "dark" personalities most often found in literature, three are especially prominent: Machiavellianism, subclinical narcissism, and subclinical psychopathy, so perhaps some people misunderstandingly pick up their ideas of "darkness" from these, and then try to identify with them and present themselves to others as such. Subclinical psychopaths are distinguished by low neuroticism-have you seen any of that around here? Machiavellians, and psychopaths are low in conscientiousness-seen any of that around here? Narcissism shows small positive associations with cognitive ability-yes, I see alot of that around here and everywhere, as a matter of fact. I'm sure we all do. I'm guilty of having done the same, when I was a teeny-bopper, trying to be the center of attention. Narcissists and, to a lesser extent, psychopaths exhibit "self" enhancement, and self enhancement (not to be confused with self-advancement or self-assertion), is really nothing more than boasting and/or lying. Saying "I'm dark" doesn't mean you're an imature attention-seeker, I'm just saying a majority of those who make this claim are probably just confused.

" in the dark" ?

Not " dark". Damn Cool, I could just about close the thread here..

Thanks once again.

I find dark partners with other words, example Dark Humor : obscure humor, dark romance: romance that has intrige, like an obsessed male after a coy female..

to be dark has so many meanings to different people.

A family member said i was dark because i have tattoos...which i told her she was stupid.


For me, if one is truly Dark, they do not have to proclaim it...it will be known without saying it.

and just because you don't believe in God...that don't automatically make you dark.

I do think "dark" is over used...and it usually is by people seeking attention...just like what ever other word is popular at that time in history.

Alas.. but here we are..on the "Dark Network"..hmmm...should I be eating my words? Not sure.

Anyway..Dab...I see your point and I agree.

I have never seen so much rationalization. There are as many that proclaim to be "light". Trust me I have met many and sometimes they are just as bad as said "dark" people. These self-named or media named light workers are just as prevalent as the dark proclaimers.

Most are meaning their interests run to a level that most consider a tad prurient. Anything that strays away from what the average person sees as normal. Normal...heh what is that anyway? I do not understand threads here that are placed merely to make fun of or mock others who say and/or act a certain way. Yes, some do it for attention and others do it as an identifier that they are interested in alternative things. Society recognizes people as either black or white in viewpoints. Seldom do they recognize that someone may have a wide range of interests beyond a zillion tatooes and the reason for some having them may be because they consider it simply beautiful body art. I can tell you that in my generation I rarely saw tattooes on anyone but military. They don't fascinate me at all.

People tend to label other people or themselves because that is the way society works. I guess people many times are trying to say they wouldn't want to go see some movie like PS I love you as opposed to something like Halloween II. It sets the line for interests and lifestyle. Yes, people can lie and before the internet it was in social settings such as night clubs but it still happens there. People dress to impress and if it is in black well there you go. I personally don't like labels but sometimes saying one is dark tells people upfront your interests are different. Why say it? Mostly on the net that is how you find people with common interests. There are always those that go overboard on things. Similar to those that have to critique every dang thing someone says that is alternative; every act, every interest as if it is all loony because they think so.

You may call me what you wish, but I know the truth.. I am not saying a word about it." ~Soulshroude

This statement is a be all end all for this thread. If someone depicts themselves as "dark" then perhaps they are not and are, or acting obnoxiously as they do.. just wanting to fit in.

When one does not say a word to the crowd, then they are judge accordingly based on their "obnoxiousness" and are called on it.

Or, they are true to the nature and are called the "black sheep" because of the truth of the matter that they are actually a "dark"er then most individual.

Just as Mother Teresa was called out as to how "light" she seemed to be and always smelling like roses or some such. It is the same thing. Save for she was actually "light" in most of societies eyes.

Again, it goes back to the original statement. Don't say a word and let society judge you for what "they" think you are. You are always the one to know the truth.

Auzuer set that out well.

The very idea that a person is on a site Dark Network as VB mentions, automatically demonstrates a persons interst in Dark subject material.

The over compansation, gets to appear that such individuals are intent to convince themselves, that they are more then a curious dabbler, interst is one thing, but declaring onesself a high Priest of all things dark.. no, as mentioned anyone truely Dark is obscured in Character, shrouded by crafted shadows, and as unpredictable as an improve troop..
this thread has developed well..

In many models of multiplicity, those immature individuals who non-chalantly claim to be ‘dark’ are those who do not adhere to the view that one must be good. They may be ruthless, savage, and brutal. They may also be tender, resolute, and loving, suffering from feelings of inadequecy and inferiority. What they are not is willing to conform to a particular ideal of behaviour. To do that, they think, is a sign of weakness, a sign of surrender.This site allows such behavior, even encourages it; to eliminate the idea of a "safe" place for expression and instead express that which is not safe, a place where you can be what you want, or at the very least, fantasize and role play, without regards to what others might think. The fulfillment of the fantasy comes in getting others to agree with you when you claim you're "dark"...The fantasy is fueled by a false sense of regonition and acceptance.

Some therapists might denigrate them as posturing, goth-addled fools.

We continue to invite those who are "dark" to exercise their voices here, alongside those who are not. The results are not always pleasing, but they are often authentic. And as I staed earlier, not all people who refer to themselves as "dark" are goth-addled fools, only the ones who do it out of self-deception derived from inferiority complex issues.

Dark in the terms have been given to others who potray an image, usually somone mentioning dark is somone else towards individuals and not the person saying "I am dark"

I agree with some on here that stated that people use the word to fit in, or think that if they say they are *a dark Soul * maybe become interesting to others or even their self in soem delusional idea of the word dark.

yet for them to use it it could mean many things unless you have spoke to the person. I know I am not a dark person yet I enjoy the Darker side of things such as movies books etc.
Yet, I also feel that it is over used.

MM,

Well stated, that interest in the darker things, that is an inheirant curiousity.
To be intersted in Dark material, is one thing. I myself lounge in dark concepts, I like the cringe that comes when my notional mind overwhelmes
My rational mind.

Yet I do not expect others to receive me as exceptionally dark, just that we may share a common curiousity in Dark Generes.

I prefer to use the word dark as a subsitute for goth because I do not feel I am so much of a goth but my interests and attire are for the most part of a darker nature. Where I am from "dark people" and goths are very limited so I haven't really noticed a cliche.

By coupling the reference to dark with another word ' nature' in the above post, I suggest that the individual is more aligned with the context.

A notable distinction.

Out of curiousity, I ask those that are into Dark Romance, to describe what criteria they feel captures the genere.

I have a working model of Dark Humor, I am curious about Dark Romance.

Does " Dark" necessary include Grim as an attribute?

Yes Dark is very much the new cool and ten percent of the population from Goths to Bikers love the notion.

I think the true nature of being dark is to avoid the light, not just mentally but physically.
If you are truly dark you will burn when exposed to UV and not like a normal person.I used to be a 15 minute sun bed lover now I burn terribly in 2.The light will cause headaches and even nausea.
On this note I did love Guy Ritchies portrayal of Sherlock Holmes as he sat in the dark in a drink fuelled rage, his mind racing~sounds familiar?

He shot the wall several times with the letters V.R.

Indeed the whole film was full of the Occult which amused me muchly.Of course he meant "Victoria Regina" and all those Crows were just coincidence?

Grinz*

Like with any label or title that people can either affix to themselves or have assigned to them by their peers, Dark can be self actualized, or like brilliance can be given as a label or designation from others.

To a degree I think in some arenas, the term is definately over used. The idea of one calling themselves dark, reminds me of the "evil" conversation from a past thread. To a degree, things such as these can be self actualized, if the person is truly of that nature and has become self aware enough to acknowledge that aspect within their own nature, then whether it is ever acted upon or no, they are Dark. By the same token, one can live their lives and never see themselves in such a manner, but through their actions, or certain aspects of their personality, be deemed Dark by societal standards. Are there plenty out there who use the label simply to draw attention to themselves, certainly, but this is true of all things that move to the extreme in either direction. These days many live vicariously through film and television, and things like vampires, demons, werewolves, and the occult, are finding their way to being more prevalent in society. People fall in love with certain ideals found within these forms of media, and cling to them because they represent something those people would like to see within themselves, or they actually relate to some aspect of a specific character. Since these characters are labeled to be Dark in nature, they begin to see/perceive themselves in the same light, whether or not they have,, could or would ever act in such a manner.

As to your Dark Romance question Dabbler. I cannot say that I have ever read much in the way of modern romance literature. However, I would consider Romeo and Juliet to be a Dark Romance. Not because it carries any of the things that we see in a VR/Goth type setting, but because of the nature of the story itself. While from a more modern perspective, things such as some of the more recent vampire/lycan romance novels that have bounded onto the scene, as well as the True Blood and other such series and movies could also fall under this heading.

All in all. Yes, I do think that the term Dark is overused, but in time, like all things, it will gain in popularity and things will shift and a new title will take it's place.

Dark romance, as Dabbler suggested we contemplate, to me, is about being TOO committed in a romantic relationship, which can be unhealthy, I think; people who put too much emotional load on their rapport are prone to depression and anxiety, and will of course sink into the dark depths of despair.

According to some items I've read, researchers are suggesting that people who put extra baggage on their relationship tend to evaluate their self-worth solely based on the outcomes of their romantic interactions. That could certainly lead to alot of trouble in the long run (perhaps even the short run).

This is what some psychologists term as relationship-contingent self-esteem (RCSE), and, according to some researchers, it's an unhealthy factor in romantic relationships.

Individuals with high levels of RCSE are very committed to their relationships, but they also find themselves at risk to become devastated when something goes wrong - even a relatively minor event. An overwhelming amount of the wrong kind of commitment can actually undermine a relationship. RCSE can trigger depression and anxieties during even the most minor or common relationship-based incidents, such as miscommunication, short spats over noncritical matters or a critique of one's personality or appearance.

It also factors into one or more partners developing manic, obsessive (or needy) behaviors with regard to love.

This RCSE could place one at risk for serious mood changes after break-ups, divorce or threats to one's relationship. Being able to identify it during the early stages of a relationship can prevent such negative outcomes or help partners recognize that they are incompatible.

When I think of Dark Romance, I think of "Fatal Attraction". Or, dark romance can simply mean two people in love who share interests in dark things such as horror movies and goth metal and graveyards and vampires, the latter, obviously, being much healthier and safer than the aforementioned.

I could not have said it better than the post prior to this one... my response would have been the same. A little scary actually...

I am not trying to hijack this thread when I say that I am not sure we are all on the same page as to what we each mean when we use the term "dark" to either describe ourselves or someone else. I do not believe that I nor anyone else that met me would consider me "dark". But I am aware of my psyche enough to know that I have "dark moods". I think that depression is a dark place for one's mind to be. Maybe I am using the word incorrectly or out of context but I cannot think of a good substitute for the word right now.

I have a catagory on my Journal called "Dark Thoughts". I do not write much there but when I am in the midst of one of my "dark moments" as i call them, writing about it at that moment is theraputic. I am not bragging about it because I really don't like myself that much when i am in that dark place in my mind. I have to work my way out of it somehow and it is different each time.

Now my question is is that self actualization or self awarness?

food4thought

food4thought

In a manner yes, it is honest introspect.

You demonstarate what I am seeing as a prime example of the application of the concept "Dark", it has to do with your coupling 'dark moods' for example, and as for functioning and being able to relate while in a dark mood (or perhaps "grim' ?) That Mr Food4thoughts.. is most remarkable.

Most humans conform, and then proclaim their individuality. The conforming part is what greases the wheels of society. If you're too different, you're more likely to be chosen as a scapegoat for whatever ills plague the society. Some people seem to choose the path of ultimate submissive/martyr/nothing-works-out. I don't think there are dark ideals since our natures traverse all the space between heaven and hell. More like people get stuck, don't have the flexibility, mentally and emotionally, to live and think in more than one dimension.

Intersting perspective bloodt,

In a way, that puts me in the gray area..

Yes as it would seem manly to seem to classify themselves as being dark, but what exactly does being dark mean to each person that classifies themself as being dark ?

Dabbler:

Thanks for the cudo, the insight and the starting of this thread. I have enjoyed reading it and it will become my very first "favorite thread".

food4thought

I suppose I am in the gray area also.. I too have enjoyed this thread..

Every human is some what, dark. Can be for being ironic about life, or just because they follow the dark and not the light. Yes, many people always said, I am dark, but, I never hear someone say, I am light. Cool subject.