The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Ruby Sparks

Your phone isn't working sir, do you have another I could use?

Wrong Turn

What the hell is this? You tryin' to stink me to death, old man?

Pulp Fiction

What more do you want of us? We've come all this way, no thanks to you. We did it on our own, no help from you.

Opposite of Sex


Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

When man meets a force he can't destroy, he destroys himself. What a plague you are.

30 Days of Night

Look Mister, there are some rules that you've got to follow.

Gremlins

No. I think you've got the ceremonies mixed up. This is more like a CIRCUMCISION.

The Mighty Ducks

No! It wasn't me! It was the One-Armed Man!

The Mask

When things get tricky in my life, I talk to my fish.

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen

It always makes me feel a bit melancholy. Grand old war ship. being ignominiously haunted away to scrap... The inevitability of time, don't you think? What do you see?

Skyfall

Micro changes in air density, my ass.

Alien (1979)

Yes, London. You know: fish, chips, cup 'o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary fucking Poppins... LONDON.

Snatch

When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

No! Add an other 10. I was just merely trying to meet my mate in the modern world.

Man Up

Have you ever seen a seven year old... sodomized in half?

The Woodsman

Beautiful. Now, having just met you, I wouldn't go as far as calling you a cold-hearted bastard...

Casino Royale

Look, I've boned a lot of fat chicks in my time, sure. But, as far back as I can remember, I've never fornicated anybody.

Bad Santa

Well, how is it you see us and nobody else can?

Beetlejuice

My energy box is completely dead!

Barbarella (1968)

Geez I thought you would have a sense of humor. After all - you married her!

The Mask

Women never know what they want. All they know is to test the nest. And if the nest is good, they'll stay. And if they see some sign of weakness, they're out of there. They test you all day long until you die.

The Affair

What scares me isn't how short life is, no, it's the pain, all the pain. I don't understand why there has to be any pain.

The Witches of Eastwick

Stop humping. Please stop humping. Just high five.

Fanboys (2009)

Where did Bonnie and Rochelle go? They just ran out of here without even saying good-bye. That's bad manners.

The Craft

All right. Fine. I didn't see a snake. For heaven's sake, there is no such thing as a giant snake. I must have lost my mind for a second.

D-War (2007)

This was someone's life Paul. Did you even spend one minute thinking about that?

Urban Legend

We are the Judean People's Front crack suicide squad! Suicide squad, attack!

Life of Brian 1979

Quote: "Where is he? I shan't ask you politely next time. Where is Blofeld?"

Diamonds Are Forever

I have lived long enough to see the same eyes in different people. I see your eyes... I know your eyes!

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

You're talkin' about it, I'm just sayin' let 'em in.

Ted

It feels like something *bit* me!

Devil (2010)

...And to the republic for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

C.S.A.: The Confederate States of America

Shut up, or i'll flatten ya!

Tim 1979

"Talk to me goose..."

top gun


I understand your little girl's feeling better, eh? Lost her spleen though, eh? Pity, that. Make it a mighty tough on her to fight off infection, eh Jacky?

Patriot Games

I don't wish you to discuss my children in this manner.

The Sound of Music


Behold, a dream did come to me, and the Lord did show all of this to me.

Children of the Corn (1984)


I got some tall apologizing to do. There's a line of cars coming up the road. I'll stand with you, if you want. I'll get my deer gun.

Firestarter

Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum I smell the blood of an Englishman. Be he alive or be he dead, I'll grind his bones to make my bread.

Jack the Giant Slayer


Now, we must all fear evil men. But there is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men.

The Boondock Saints (1999)

I'm not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school... or a Chuck E. Cheese.

The Hangover

I don't reckon you have to go with women to be a good daddy to a boy. You been real square-dealin' with me. The Bible says two men ought not lay together. But I don't reckon the Good Lord would send anybody like you to Hades. That Frank, he lives inside of his own heart. That's an awful big place to live in. You take good care of that boy.

Sling Blade (1996)

We're not gonna be one of those assholes on the news who watches a crime happen and not do something! We're not assholes!

The Happening

Alright. I'm in. But if anything happens to her, if I think anything might happen to her... I'm gonna come back here, and I'm gonna kill both of you in your own shop.

The Town (2010)

It's obvious the bastard's got lyme disease!

Slither

Once I found out the clock was ticking, it's get the glock, I'mma stick him, nah, kill 'em cause revenge is all a ni**a think about in the end

Once I found out the clock was ticking, it's get the glock, I'mma stick him, nah, kill 'em cause revenge is all a ni**a think about in the end

Belly (1998)

Where the hell do you think I'm going?

Independence Day

Yes, I've heard. Kills men by the hundreds. And if HE were here, he'd consume the English with fireballs from his eyes, and bolts of lightning from his arse.

Braveheart (1995)

Not threatening enough? Listen, you take your hands off me or I'll knee your balls right through the roof of your mouth! Is that enough of a threat?

Tootsie

From the studio that inexplicably sewed his f*cking mouth shut the first time, comes... me!

Deadpool

Now listen to me, I tell you boys and girls - whichever one of you gets it out... is going to wind up with the single most important interview since... God talked to Moses!

Superman

Go vay! Ving no good, but I walk plenty good!

Watership Down (1978)

I don't like when he walks around at night.

Insidious

To be totally honest with you, man, it was a really, really profound moment. Cuz I was thinkin', "I'm 30 years old, and in about 10 seconds I gotta start cleaning up somebody's shit, man."

American Movie (1999)

Well, when I'm awake, I try to help people... you tell me if the dreams start getting too real, okay?

Sinister 2

I like to walk for a change. Makes me feel normal.

Jumper (2008)

In 1954, the first time that a nuclear submarine ever reached the lower depths, it awakened something.

Godzilla

If his tongue moves again, cut it.

The Deep (1977)

Don't you get it? I am finally onto something that's big. Huge.

Fly

Better watch out, he eats chocolate bars.

The Fly (1986)

We'd have got married, had a house and children. If we'd had children, Yuri, would you like a boy or girl?

Gone Girl (2014)

Yeah, you know, a white guy. A moustache. About six-foot-three.

The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear

I don't know what I want. How could I know what I want if I say yes to everything?

Carol (2015)

My momma always said, "Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."

Forrest Gump

You know what I do when something frightens me? I say the magic words: Googly, googly, googly. Begone.

The Fall (2006)

Because it will go down your throat and drop instantly to my thighs!

Freaky Friday

Greatest deed Luke Skywalker ever did was take down the Death Star, right? As far as I'm concerned, that's what everybody needs. You need that one bad-ass thing that lets you live on forever, you know.

Miracle (2004)

Martin hates boats. Martin hates water. Martin... Martin sits in his car when we go on the ferry to the mainland. I guess it's a childhood thing. It's a... there's a clinical name for it isn't there?

Jaws

If you hold on to the past, you die a little each day...

Cape Fear (1991)

I'll miss the sea, but a person needs new experiences. They jar something deep inside, allowing him to grow. Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.

Dune

Man is a machine that manufactures manure.

Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things (1972)

This pin. Two people. This is gold. Two more people. He would have given me two for it, at least one. One more person. A person, Stern. For this.

Schindler's List

 What am I doing with my life? I'm so pale. I should get out more. I should eat better. My posture is terrible. I should stand up straighter. People would respect me more if I stood up straighter. What's wrong with me? I just want to connect. Why can't I connect with people? Oh, right, it's because I'm dead. I shouldn't be so hard on myself. I mean, we're all dead. This girl is dead. That guy is dead. That guy in the corner is definitely dead. Jesus these guys look awful.

Warm Bodies

We lost China. We're losing Vietnam. We have to win this one.

Pawn Sacrifice


The point is, how do you know the fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? "Building model airplanes" says the little fairy; well, we're not buying it. He sneaks into your house once, that's all it takes. The next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser, and your daughter's knocked up. I seen it a hundred times.

Tommy Boy (1995)

I had dream about you last night, White Knife.

The Ridiculous 6

Ever been to Utah? Ra-di-a-tion. Yes, indeed. You hear the most outrageous lies about it. Half-baked goggle-box do-gooders telling everybody it's bad for you. Pernicious nonsense. Everybody could stand a hundred chest X-rays a year. They ought to have them, too. When they canceled the project it almost did me in. One day my mind was full to bursting. The next day - nothing. Swept away. But I'll show them. I had a lobotomy in the end.

Repo Man (1984)

Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth.

The Matrix

It doesn't matter whose fault the break-up was, I was stubborn, you were like a mentally ill whore from the 1800's.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

I'm not taking my panties off for Scotland!

About Time

I thought Daddy didn't get scared!

Ant-Man

Now that's a man that loves his wife!

Fool's Gold (2008)

Just when it can't get any worse, you run out of cigarettes

Carol

I don't belong here, I feel it, don't you think I feel it. I can't do any of these vile things and I wouldn't WANT to. Oh, my life is like death. My children are the spawn of hell, and you're the devil. Oh God.

Overboard (1987)

Man, it's so sad to hear you say he won't let you do somethin' and then you *don't* do it.

Winter's Bone

Let me just ask you one thing - after 600 years, how's that dick workin', pretty good?

Jack Crow

*Wait a minute doc...are you trying to tell me my mother has the hots for me? **

Back to the Future (1985)

How much do we need to bail Lisa from jail?

Dear John (2010)

It was a blank, Eggsy. It was a fucking blank. Remember Amelia?

Kingsman: The Secret Service

TODD! Where's my goddamn latté?

Zoolander 2

If we catch John Doe and he turns out to be the devil, I mean if he's Satan himself, that might live up to our expectations, but he's not the devil. He's just a man

Somerset.

Let me have a diablo sandwich, a Dr Pepper and make it fast! I'm in a gaddam hurry!! Junior, you want somthin?? "Hush Puppies Daddy" WE GOT NO TIME FOR THAT CRAP!!!!

Smokey and the Bandit

I love this internet. It's part fantasy, part community, and you get to pay your bills naked.

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