CryingDutchess's Vampire Journal

CryingDutchess's Journal

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3 entries this month

← Mar 2009

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Suckiness...
23:45 Apr 09 2009
Times Read: 824

Well... so depressed that I may make tomorrow or this weekend D-Day. I can deal. I just don't want to anymore.

Just when I thought I was getting a smidgeon better, HE texts me and tells me how great things are and such. Then, he asks how I am doing. Oh, gee -- swell!! I'm Polly-fucking-anna!

I AM CRYING EVERY DAMNED DAY! I CAN'T REALLY EAT and ALMOST A DECADE OF MY LIFE HAS BEEN ERASED. So, I didn't answer his question about me and covered every other topic like all is well, since I am "supposed" to be acting like everything is okay. What a fucking lie. Why can't I say how I really feel to him instead of the rest of the planet? Shouldn't he know how much I am hurting?

COMMENTS

Xzavier
23:58 Apr 09 2009

I love you! *hugs*

MysticMoon
21:55 Apr 15 2009

oh girlie tell him get it off your chest , let him know what hes done to you * hugs

LadyxDarkxRayne
01:08 Apr 23 2009

i love you sis and am very worried about you i think we need to have a sister talk you know im here and so is your brother w both love ya very muuch

NGIF! (No, God! It's Friday!)
22:24 Apr 03 2009
Times Read: 849

I think I need real psychological help. I actually find that while I may be miserable when I wake up to go to my level of Dante's Inferno (work), I feel even worse when it is time to head home. The weekend is here and I am sick with anxiety. I hate this townhouse. It is the house Satan built. Every crappy memory or event has happened in this place. I'm contemplating burning it to the ground and salting the earth.

I think I am taking myself to the movies this weekend. I've never seen the big deal about going to a movie alone. You're in the dark -- who gives a damn?!

COMMENTS

garnetdoll
23:59 Apr 03 2009

I had a time like after a break up. I burnt some sage to cleanse the house of negative energies, and then I decided to do that one thing I always wanted to do with this one room that he never wanted to do and wouldn't approve of...it made the place mine and helped me to take one step closer to the closure that was needed.

MeanOleRachy
00:25 Apr 04 2009

*looks at sister if you burn it to the ground Im gonna have to go and get your bro so we can bail you out* now I know you want to see us and all but is that really the best solution? I would much rather just take you with me when I go to see him... Your small I can hide ya he will never know your even there until he hears the giggling and realizes all his sherbet is gone because we got the munchies lol

Sinora
08:34 Apr 04 2009

*Runs in* to save the cookies and the tv from the crazy lady....go to the movies, I often go alone it's no bigee.

Ow.
23:15 Apr 02 2009
Times Read: 872

Damn. It really hurts. Someone drop a piano on me, please. An anvil? House? *sigh*

This is the worst time of my life. I've never felt so surrounded by people yet totally alone. What's been said, has been said before. Talking about it hurts. I drink more Gatorade for dehydration from crying than an athlete would during a championship game.

No one seems to get that I can do fine on my own. It just isn't worth it without him.

COMMENTS

LadyKrystalynDarkstar
00:10 Apr 03 2009

...............................

LadyxDarkxRayne
04:41 Apr 03 2009

Sis - I know you can do it on your own I have no doubt that you can. I know you just dont want to. There is nothing That I can say to make the hurt stop no magic words to make it just be fixed.... what I can do is be here for you..... just listen ...

be your sister .....I loves ya Girl

Sinora
08:21 Apr 03 2009

It's a bitch when people say stuff like " it will pass "..thing is it's true...I will now go and iron my head as punishment. *hugs*