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I wasn't sure where I really needed to post this , but the severity and importance of this is a bigger issue than that of the correct forum place. Please read this entire message, and do not blow this off. This is very serious and I am asking that you understand and are patient with me as I explain this to you.



As you all know Melissa and myself are real life sisters. And Raychel and I and Melissa are real life best friends. We are the only three that know what is going on, but with my sister's permission and wishes, I am sharing this information with you.



We just found out that Melissa has stomach cancer. She is being put on medicines and will be going through random treatments. This means that she will be sick for a while, and that I will be with her. Raychel is going to make it here as soon as she can.

We may not be on for a few days at a time, and we hope that you do understand this.



We are not sure how this is going to go. The doctors are not sure if they have caught it in time or what will happen. I beg each and every one of you as I write this and as you read this that you will please dig deep into your hearts and souls and pray upon the Gods and or Goddesses that you pray to, and help us recieve a healing or miracle.



This is so hard for me to write, and even just as hard for my sister to know that I am writing this. I do not know how long I have left with my sister, not saying that she is going to die, but we don't know how things are going to go right now.



Please, I beg, keep her in your thoughts and prayers. I love my sister with all my heart and soul. And if there is anyway that you can guys can help by saying a simple prayer, I will be forever in your debt.



My words may sound wierd or unfamiliar to you comming from me, but this is serious and I have no one else to talk to or to turn to.



Thank you all for being so wonderful to us. We love each and everyone of you.

COMMENTS

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SalemsxAngel
13:36 Jul 29 2008

I am so sorry hun. I really am I know this isn't easy. An you know she an you as well will be in my hearts an prayers always.

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queenmorbid
14:40 Jul 29 2008

I am very sorry, you are always in my thoughts and prayers.

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Kontradiction
03:33 Jul 30 2008

fuck...still here on vacation and saw this. i am so sorry that this is going on. you both have my love and prayers and i will get in touch when i am back on friday.



((hugs))

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LostKitten
07:39 Jul 30 2008

Ray thank you hun. I know that you are also going through hard times yourself. No need to worry about us. I am going to take care of Melissa. And I will deal with my pain. I hope all is getting or will be getting better for you soon. I love you. MY CCG.



Queenie, Thank you too. I appreciate it. I know that all will work out. It has to. I am sorry for your troubles and what you are going through as well. I love you.



Erin, Hey Hun. Don't worry and just enjoy your vacation. I hope that you are having a good time. I do miss you and can't wait to talk to you though. I love you. MY CCG.

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DarkRuby
18:11 Aug 05 2008

April,



Sending heartfelt prayers out to Melissa and the rest of your family. Please keep us updated here on her condition. I hope it is caught early and very treatable.



MAJOR (((HUGS)))!!!



Annmarie

DarkRuby

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xxBlackHawkxx
14:26 Sep 09 2008

You and your sister will be in my prayers

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POST COMMENT

Ok some people may think I am wrong about not telling theings I know to people. But it is like this. I trust only a select few on here and the others that I do trust I am not sure how they will take things. Many times I wanted to tell a specific person something, but I knew I wouldn't be believed because of the love that this person had. I actually kept this information to myself for a very long time and finally let a couple of my dearest friends know, because it was hurting me to see all the bullshit lies that this other person was going through. Although this person and I are not close I love her just the same and wish I had just went straight to her when I was told this shit from the horses mouth. I even asked questions to make sure I was getting the story straight. I even asked someone that I was close to at that time if this was right. All I know is what I was told and all I know is that the truth has come out. And if you read this and you know that I am talking to you, i do want to say I am sorry for not comming to you myself and telling you, but I didn't know what was what and how much was true and if you would even believe me or not. But I am woman enough to say I am sorry. I do wish you all the best in the world.

COMMENTS

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queenmorbid
23:34 Jul 28 2008

LK, I love you dearly and I am glad I am your friend. You care about people and have a big heart. That is my problem as well. I am too good and have too big a heart. Just remember that some of us love you to pieces.

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LostKitten
23:41 Jul 28 2008

Queen I love you dearly too. I just wish that I had come to you sooner. But I wasn't sure what to say. I am glad that we are friends, and I am glad that you found out now instead of later.

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Kontradiction
03:32 Jul 30 2008

i love you too, and if you're going to be mad at anyone, be mad at me. mary is a friend of mine that was hurting so i told her out of care and concern. it wasn't meant to shame you or her, but i agree...i wish that we had been strong enough to say something.





you have my apologies as well, LK and Queen.

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LostKitten
07:48 Jul 30 2008

Erin, I am not mad at you at all. I am glad that you said something. I just wish I had said it earlier. People can call me weak or clueless or whatever for not telling and they are probably right. But the important thing now is that the truth is out there, and Mary can start rebuilding her life. And she now knows who her TRUE friends are. I love you Erin and could never be mad at you.

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POST COMMENT

Why is it that people think they can use you and throw you away like a piece of crap? And they do not even take your feelings into consideration? But yet you are still there standing beside them, keeping your promise to always be their friend? Even after all the horrible shit they have put you through. Am I stupid for keeping my word?

COMMENTS

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EnchantedWeb
07:07 Jul 21 2008

i think it's because people mistaken kindness for weakness which is sad..

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LostKitten
07:13 Jul 21 2008

So what do you do? Become an asshole so people think that you are strong? That would be a lie and that I do not nor will not do. If people think I am weak then let them, because I am not going to stop being kind just so people can think I am a strong woman.

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queenmorbid
23:35 Jul 28 2008

Been there, done that as well. I stood beside people and trusted them so much I believed everything they said. Then I found out I was betrayed.

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LostKitten
23:38 Jul 28 2008

I am so sorry Queen. I really am. I swear I wish I could take it all away so you wouldn't have to go through this.

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POST COMMENT

Why do people have to insult others intellegence, especially when they barely have any of their own? I mean, it's like people can't help but be mean to others. Why does it have to be like this. Two people split and they have mutual friends and one has to choose over the other? It shouldn't be this way. If you were friends while you were together why can't you be friends while you apart. What does one have to do with the other? It is so hard to know that people are really that shallow. I know they say that when one door closes another opens, but lets face it, there are only so many doors in this world, and when they are continually shut in your face what do you do? I am tired of opening other doors just to have the same result. I always thought of myself as a pretty descent person, loving and kind. I mean I am not putting myself on a pedestal, because I have done my fair share of wrong doings in this world, but must I pay for them everyday for the rest of my life? I try to be a good friend, a good mother, a good provider, a good person with a good heart. I try to be there for people when they need me or even when they don't need me I am still there. I help where I can and listen when I'm needed. I love people and love life (well used to). And now, it's like everything I have worked for in my life, everything I have ever done good doesn't count. And this bothers me. I just don't understand this at all. I just can't make sense out of it. Am I really that bad of a person. I mean really am I?

COMMENTS

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SalemsxAngel
21:31 Jul 18 2008

Aw hunnie



*hugs*



You are an amazing person an a good mother..



Don't let those people get you down if they are pointing fingers at you they have no right, everyone has had there share of dirty deeds. So they are in the complete wrong.



~CCG

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DarkRuby
14:50 Jul 19 2008

You rock Aprl! ;0) ((HUGS))

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LostKitten
02:52 Jul 20 2008

Thank you both. I appreciate that, but it just seems that everytime I take a step forward i am kicked back 2 or more steps. I am so tired of it too. I want to tell these people to leave me alone, but then I wouldn't be any better than they are.

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POST COMMENT

Well, my uncle passed away today. I didn't even get to say goodbye, but I am so glad fot that Sunday evening 2 weeks ao that I got to spend with him before his mind went and he stopped responding. he joked and laughed and cut up with me. It was like old times. I knew the day was comming soon, but just not this soon. You are never truly prepared for something like this, I don't care how many times you have been through it or how often you try to prep yourself. It is never easy.



On top of that, I have an Aunt that just got out of the hospital. She was in because of her heart. She is doing better but still not completely out of the woods yet. And another Aunt that has just found out that she has lung cancer and has to have surgery. Now I have another Aunt in the hospital right now. Yes all of these Aunts and my Uncle all on my mothers side.



And if that wasn't enough, my Dad has been real sick, and he went to the doctor today, yeah, he has pneumonia. Not sure how well he will do with that. Those of you that know me, know my Dad is in poor health anyways.



I don't know how much more I am going to have to go through, especially with all the other stuff I have been going through personally in my life. I think I have actually hit bottom this time, and I am so tired of climbing back up, that I am almost willing to just stay at the bottom. If it weren't for my daughter I think I would have sat at the bottom for along time now.



I know life is hard, and this isn't a pity me party. I know others go through these things too, some worse than mine, and others not as bad. But in any situation it's never easy. I feel for those who have to go through this.



My heart is numb, my body is numb, my mind is numb. I have no idea what the next step is for me or what I will do next to turn my cards into another a deck. Have you ever felt like you are tired of playing with the cards that you have been dealt and want a new deck, just to see if your chances are any better? That is how I feel right now. I never thought I would ever hear myself say those words, but at this moment and time, I have nothing else that I can say.

COMMENTS

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Kontradiction
03:49 Jul 16 2008

((hugs))





i am so sorry for your loss hun.



i think many of us CCG'S feel at the bottom right now.



but all we can do is endure and lean on our Sisterhood to get us through this...



and once again, like many times before, you will.

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LostKitten
03:54 Jul 16 2008

((HUGS)) Thanks Erin. If it wasn't for you guys and my daughter I'd really be lost.

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Sinora
10:31 Jul 16 2008

That's the beauty and magic of friendship and love, when you write you are too tired to climb back up, reach out to the hands held out to you. *hugs*.

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SalemsxAngel
12:07 Jul 16 2008

Aw hun I am so sorry for your loss, I truly am.



You an your family are always in my heart.





Erin is exactly right. I am glad we all have each other to lean on for support expeically during our hard times.





Thats what ur sisterhood is for.



**hugs**

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maliciousIntent63
16:03 Jul 16 2008

I'm very Sorry ...



I do know how you feel I just lost my Gram's a bit ago.

I didn't get to see her & before that when I did she didn't even know who I was..

I hope pop doesn't go next..

Now I'm afraid & I go to see him every chance I get..

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LostKitten
17:47 Jul 16 2008

THanks so much guys. You mean the world to me. I even have people reaching out to me and lending me their support and hands to hold onto that I haven't evn talked to before and that is wonderful. I want to thank each one of you that have made comments and those that have talked to me directly and through the texting systems of our phones. I love you all.



CCG's you guys are my big family here and without you I know I couldn't do this alone. If it weren't for you and my daughter I would have given up a long time ago. My coven has been great, my friends have been great, and my CCG family have been wonderful.

I love you all.

Off to the funeral home now.

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POST COMMENT

A comment that was posted in my friend's journal has left me with a few words to say, but first here is the comment.



So instead your in the other 5% that's in a clique. Oh yeah, that's much better.



Now my few words...





YOU ARE SO DAMN RIGHT IT IS MUCH BETTER

COMMENTS

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SalemsxAngel
06:37 Jul 14 2008

So True..



Heya At Least We Admit it Shit

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Maledicta
06:49 Jul 14 2008

Yeah I saw that comment. My guess is the commenter is kinda jealous because they're not in a clique...

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Kontradiction
06:50 Jul 14 2008

Fuck yeah it's better....

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CountThanatos
07:22 Jul 14 2008

*wonders what i am missing lol

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meanmelissa
17:10 Jul 14 2008

Sounds like jealousy to me.

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POST COMMENT

You know that I must have a magnet to attract jerks to me. I don't understand. am i that bad of a person? Am i paying for something in a previous life? Am I supposed to be the one that takes all the BS from people so they don't give it to others? And no not at this moment and time am I speaking of VR or it's members although there are some of them on here too, but this is in real life...personal life. You bend over backwards for someone to see them smile or to try and make them happy at whatever the cost and they end of treating you like you a perfect stranger or that they have no use for you. And why? Hell who knows? i am still trying to figure it out. I just don't understand why things like this always happen to me. My life seems to have nothing ( and this goes back to being a child up through my adult years)....family hate, friends that you can' trust, drama, people who treat you like shit or mislead you, jerks, and etc....



This is my life and I guess what it has become. What the hell? Am I that bad of a person.

COMMENTS

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SalemsxAngel
06:54 Jul 13 2008

It's not you hun



**hugs**

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deathnitegrl
07:04 Jul 13 2008

I attract them too, I think it's not us who are wrong but them. Sadly that's how the world is, full of jerks.

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Kontradiction
07:39 Jul 13 2008

the world is mostly jerks..

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DarkRuby
15:45 Jul 13 2008

Unfortunately, there are many more jerks to go around out there than honest, grateful folks. ((HUGS))

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meanmelissa
20:59 Jul 13 2008

I have to agree with everyone here, and there is one jerk in certain that I am talking about that is NOT on vr. This is a jerk in our real life, so yes I know how jerks are. And it sucks how people can be jerks.

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POST COMMENT

I think I have said this more than once in more than one journal entry, but unfortunately it hasn't been said enough. i hate drama, want no part of drama, will not tolerate drama on my behalf or on the behalf of my family and friends here on VR or else where. The last time I checked VR was supposed to be a fun place to go. If I wanted arguments and if I wanted trouble I would just call up family that I don't like or people that i do not like and start trouble myself. But I do not do that, because I hate drama. The people that say they do not like drama are the ones that are starting it. I have close family and friends on here and I do have their back in any situation, as I have proven before in other cases, and that has not changed, nor will it change. So to those of you who want to cry and whine about someone or want to be jealous over someone or want to be a bitch or hateful just because you had a bad day....do it else where, not to my family and friends. if you have a problem and want to take it out on someone...by all means come to me, because i can give as well as i take. but i do promise you that I will have the last word when it comes to fu*king with my people.



So kids grow up and be the adults you pretend to be.



In my CCG sisters words......



Carry On.

COMMENTS

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meanmelissa
00:10 Jul 09 2008

I agree, I will do anything and everything to protect my fellow coven members/family/friends. People who are causing the drama needs to stop. I think its childish and they need to grow up.

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POST COMMENT

I have had many people ask me for my protection stamps. I will be more than happy to give them to you. I have 5 different ones or if you would like I will make one up just for you so you will have an original one from me. Just let me know by either commenting here or emailing via VR mail and make sure you leave me what you like and what kind you want.

Finally, after waiting weeks, but it seemed forever longer than that, I have finally recieved some good news. At least partial good news. For those of you who know me will understand what i am talking about.