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Just a quick acknowledgment to reading your post Tree. I'm distracted.

Bros before ho's...except for those. ;)

Just for the full moon that graced us

I know where my comments lead me so ... no .... no ... nnnnnnooooOOOoooo

:D

@Adain someone has trained you well.

@Cadrewolf2 I don't really anthropomorphize things myself as an occultist but can appreciate those who do relating to the cosmos by their experiences in life. Though I have some experience with different sublime spirits I think it can be misleading to understanding the cosmos by grouping certain beings together as one symbol in the mind. My nature spirit companion doesn't have a sex or august ego created by naivety.

I know some people have an emotional need to post what they post in the stream. It's not about the content they post, it's about them showing themselves to the world, they're saying 'This is me, this is who I am, look at me, see me!' That's not to say everyone posting multiple images in the stream is that way. I understand the difference.

Personally, I'd rather not get in the way of what people need to do here on VR. I don't encourage or discourage. We're all here for our own reasons, all equally important to ourselves. I'd never wish to impact that. I know how important some things are to some people, they might seem annoying to others, but they're vital to some, for health, life and wellbeing.

I can agree with that but there is a thing called common respect and establishing that is important to me some people are rude and won't know it until you express it. I'm often reminded of how people act in groups just like lemmings jumping off cliffs that follow the herd mentality. I'm usually patient enduring quite a bit of adversity being hypersensitive for the reasons you mention but I too express my sentiments in like manner.

Good point. I often think mainly about the cause of why people behave in a certain way and if I feel it's important to them, I'm all for it, often to the exclusion of all else.

Yeah, you're right. Shit should be self-moderated. Yet that never worked in the world and even less in this place, where people have a relatively small and enclosed space to fill with their emotional pain. You and I know what's going on here, you can feel as an empathetic. I felt it before I ever joined.

There's dark energy on this site, not my kind of darkness, not yours either in some respects, not that I presume anything, but here we are, in the Vampire Rave, and there is a hell of a lot of pain on these boards.

It might be good for energy feeders. For me, I need a fucking umbrella sometimes.

Hell of a strange place, energy wise, inviting, intoxicating, yet quite lethal and addictive.

This place is aptly named 'vampire' for without the know-how and experience to evade, this place can suck a person dry.

I don't see myself standing in the way of others merely expressing my sentiments. Is there a place where we both can respect one another like in the art of the compromise where no one leaves happy?

Yeah, I used to come on this site and could literally feel a drain to my chi just logging in. It's like paying a toll. *SMH* I don't feel it any more as it's normal now I guess. Wow you should have experienced the site back in the "nights" of yore. It was a hundred times more active. I'll just do my part to restore that in my own society.

I think it's 'my way or the highway' mentality in the context go out conversation Tree. There's no debating or compromise when meeting that kind of resistance, in my opinion. There's only acceptance or removal of oneself. Personally, I'd rather bend, before allowing a weaker person to break. I'm much softer than you in some respects. It doesn't always lead to the best results for me.

I guess I can understand why PP fucked off so soon after joining, wrong vibe for her, I guess, sadly.

I still feel the drain Tree. It seems to be getting worse for me not better. Especially after Tabby tried to kill himself. I hope his dark clouds clear. I really do. I'd rather be recovered and started fucking with me again than the alternative. A complete shit show from the start of me joining this place. Apart from me meeting you know who and yourself, one or two others, I probably should have joined fucking Facebook and avoided all this shit. I'm not happy on this site at all at the minute.

The problem I've had on this site is the manipulators who learn about members then just create new profiles exploiting them and when they start building a relationship investing time and energy in them they just turn on them so I've become wary of new members until they establish themselves which only happens after they spend time on the site. I greet newbies at times but won't invest too much until they stick around and show they are authentic. I remember this one skank that happens to be an admin in your "house" pulling that shit though she seldom seems to be on anymore so you can thank members like them for members being jaded or careful from their head games.

Sometimes it's just good to take a break from the site. Though if you do to warn others lest they worry.

This has been my only social network if I want more I'll just place banners to get more rather than move to another-just seems right to me as a vampire we create bonds with people and seems true for other things like websites and other things etc.. I definitely don't do FB as there's nothing more foul than reneging on a contract which Zuckerberg did when he was contracted in college to create it then lost in court paying out settlements but still retains the billions it made. Doesn't set well with my sense of justice so I don't use that service.

Multiple profiles owned by one person. It's a trend on this site and one that needs careful navigation IMO. Those close to me have multiple profiles too. I have three myself, so I understand how this and why it happens.

I understand the manipulation through profile bait and switching, yet no two people use language exactly the same. I play along if need be. No biggie, unless it gets into exploration by some means. Stop, block. End of.

Yeah, I'm jaded buddy, one month in. I'll see how I go. If Tab gets up and running again, I'll feel better. It all comes down to that. Real sad about that.

Anyway I'm done with the Tabby subject for now. I filled your thread with too much crap already so I have.

Yeah I'm not comfortable talking about people without them in the picture unless I'm vague and let others draw their own conclusions. Plus I've seen in everything and everyone there is both pros and cons to them even if you don't see it then it may be about time and a shelf life as everything dies like in The Type O Negative song. Really is a big part of the Goth culture to me to to integrate death as a part of life perhaps its a bit of a balance to so many that believe in eternal life. That's just sheer bullshit to me but like a child being raised to adulthood many spirits don't recognize that and spend their lives living under such religions. In some ways its not so different than child molesters taking advantage of children though if you really think about it. Yeah I wary of these religions that use anthropomorphication of parental beings as creators which take the human ego too far. I don't need a lake of fire and the fear of god as the beginning of wisdom but can just look around at the different lives people have to go through weather it's something great to be envied in its short lifespan or one of suffering whose end is longed for. I don't believe in that concept of karma either as you need a freewill for that and you don't have that. From the moment you are conceived in your mother's womb you are the product of that DNA substance as it moves through time. Everything you experience shapes you. So how the fuck people think you earn that by your choice? That's just an illusion for not seeing the complexity of what decisions a person makes. Big egos tend to not see that.

Will get back to this thread in the morning Tree.

Tree I posted some replies to your journal entry below this one.

Thanks for the reminder. Guess I should start using the New Journal Comments option as I see it's backlogged a bit. Sorry I'm still learning and developing.

Welcome. I posted that as it saddens me when you take time to reply to something I wrote, and then I missed it, so I'm doing my best now to keep up to date with your posts and replies. I can't for everyone, but you are you and that is that.

Big heart you have Tree. Big heart.

👍

Laptop: nothing on it but what you don't care about being found.

Internet connection: Dongle. Pay cash. Top up with cash.

Run it through multi-hop architecture.

Sorted.

Tree! More info for you:

A multi-hop (or Double) VPN architecture routes your internet traffic through two or more sequential servers rather than just one.

This double encryption and dual IP-switching strategy makes it virtually impossible for attackers or ISPs to correlate your real location with your final destination.

How It Works;

Entry Node (First Server): Your device encrypts your data and sends it to the first server. This server sees your real IP address but cannot decipher your browsing activity.Intermediate/Exit Node (Second Server): The data is re-encrypted and sent to a second server (often in a different country). This server sees the destination website but has no idea who you are or where the connection originated.

They'll look and find someone. It won't be 'you' and they'll never know. Most likely.

Thanks. I really don't think I'm much of a target flying low under most radars unless its some AI that just casts a wide net. If I move to a better location I'll try what you suggested. Right now I got like the slowest internet speeds possible but works...barely for my needs...usually.

Tree, you know as well as I that cunts who want to fuck up an innocent's life need to be aggressively defended against in the strongest manner possible.

Take no chance, give no chance, someone comes at you, burns them before they even know they are dying.

Look at Tabby. Thought he was a clever fucker attacking me when I came here, now he's half dead. That's life. Fate, karma, whatever.

I'm in no mood to be thinking of you getting fucked with by cunts. You want help. Ask.

No seriously this is about slow internet speeds I have an old DSL hook-up and have like the slowest possible. I rent from the ground floor of a hotel that is considered a historical site so one can't make changes like installing cable, fiber optics, and can't mount a satellite dish and other things aren't feasible because there's poor reception. Hell my girlfriend lives a block away in another hotel and there's poor reception from cell towers on iPhones. I'm honestly concerned if I use VPN's to bounce things around more it will bog it down even more I'd think. Sometimes I get hung on loading screens from the handshakes on this site already and this isn't at primetimes with heavy internet traffic this like 3am which I think we got AI bullshit fucking shit up now. In all honesty rent is really cheap but it has its cons. If I do move elsewhere I'll try more secure things as well as high speed internet. If I get a new computer I think I'll build it myself one of those durable ones like first responders use-I'm old school and am use to hitting things to get them to work right like those needles in analog before digital.

As far as that Tabby guy is concerned I consider him a narcissist and is best avoided however I still consider him kindred and we have to deal with shit the mundanes have no clue about as there's reason we vampires tend to be dark and scary from what we perceive about reality. If the guy is genuinely in poor health then perhaps that will be something that can help change him for the better as one's pride tends to break then that is at the core of their negative behavior especially when other vampires aren't empowering them.

There's no cure for the hatred Tabby has for me because it's instinctive. He'll not change, he'll get his strength back and return. He posts shit about me, tries to hack a couple of throwaway email addresses I use on this site that he access to, and then ends up half dead in hospital, for whatever reason. He's too thick to leave me alone. Rinse and repeat.

To clarify, whatever shit led Tabby into hospital had little to do with me, the guys had more problems than me blogging on VR.

He's not the only male vampire narcissist on this site empowered by female attention there's a few of them. He 's just one that is bolder than others to attack others openly he sees as rivals. The others are more stoic and keep to themselves. I'm a vampire on a whole other level as Ramkt having a constant connection with my elemental...source. Yeah I like to work with Kitra and Mradu who are specialized in manipulating energy differently but too many are just hung up on ego and aren't compatible to work with. I prefer to do my own hunting anyway so fuck em all I'll create my own thing with...resources I bring.

It is best to find your own way. And for a time I was the same, and still am to an extent. It can be more freeing than having to consider others and having to shape plans accordingly.

Regarding Tabby. You are right he saw me as a rival. I didn't see anyone as a rival because all I wanted to do was journal. He's deeply unwell this time, and I understand why. Tabby's personal hell woke up, and is currently kicking the shit out of him. Although if and when he recovers he'll most likely be back at it again with me. We'll see what happens. His choice. He's the Rocky Balboa of VR, he never knows when to quit.

I like VR, to hang out, but the idea of knuckling down to journaling is moving away from the reason I stay on VR now. Now I just come here to enjoy myself with people and loved ones. Mainly because true vampirism - away from the fiction, the coffins, the capes - isn't something to blog about here to any extent imo. How much can a vampire say about vampire life when there are so few vamps to read it?

I disagree I think this website with the double entendre domain name "Vampire Rave" is the perfect place for real vampires to be out of the coffin about things. The biggest problem I've found is dealing with all the insecurites. In which case some just have to step up and lead by example. Do you remember that old song from the 80's by Rockwell Somebody's Watching Me? Yeah trust me there's lots of people watching what we are doing on this site you only need to see that number on the Whose Online page to verify that at any moment as "anonymous users online" when compared to actual members. It's like we are on our own version of The Truman Show. Got plenty of members that like to spice it up with drama like you see on reality shows. That's just not my style especially as a ronin. I just like to just keep it real.

Tabby fucked up my 'out and proud' vibe from day one sadly. It'll be tainted permanently now for me regarding being open about vampirism.

Probably why I've gone batshit and started posting on the stream rather than contributing vampire-related content to the site.

Hey, at least he got a nice song out of it.

I know that 80s song. And you are right, we have lots of interest.

I journal every day. I just stopped uploading much of it here.

I'll start again adding a few posts here and there.

See how it goes. I'll wait for Tabby to recover so he can tell everyone I'm a cannibal or whatever else he comes up with.

Unless something was permanently amputated or a break that heals wrong time tends to heal it. I think you're more resilient and give the dude's antics too much weight. I actually like some of Mr. Black's songs though I don't stroke the guy's ego like some vampire skanks do that are empaths that bond with people to bolster their pride. I think they need to spend more alone time sorting out their own emotions than manipulating others they sense and think comes from them. But who listens to me? Like drug addicts they just continue down their path of ruin chasing the dragon. Just another corruptive aspect of nature. You win some and you lose some. They'll probably have a different outcome in some ways in other incarnations having suffered it in this one in the turning.

Him nearly dying was pretty permanent, and it weighs on my mind.

I'll see what happens. I'm going to stick with VR for a bit. Some want me to stay more than I want to stay, so I stay.

This place is fucked up.

Always was.

How do you know its true? Lots of people lie or embellish the truth on this site to get attention. I can usually gauge the validity of something with my psychic senses if I interact with them but wasn't in this matter. It's just hearsay from you. I think all life should be cherished but some really make that hard so you have to weigh what's important for those closest to you. People that act like him on a site full of witches and vampires can't expect too much mercy unless they come forward with humbled pride. I see the world leaders in the same context and think WW3 is close and in a world economy all countries and their leaders are at fault. They think they got their bases covered with AI and robots but they'll all be put on their knees and only then will there be change to remove the corruption.

No comment on your question.

The suicide attempt was journaled recently by others. Not much to keep quiet about after that.

I wrote a blog about it because it affected me to some extent, for various personal reasons, then deleted it. I have it saved, not sure to post it. Caution is best sometimes. Hey, Tabby is all over me, deep and personal, he shouldn't be surprised it gets mutual.

Well as I've mentioned I don't like talking about others when they aren't present; But I understand individuals can get under your skin and it helps to talk about it and do so openly to set an example to others as long as it doesn't cross over into gossip which I hate.This person has attacked my character in the past related to some other vampire on this site they had history with. I'm ronin so don't really get involved much with vampire community politics and drama. Yeah there's power in group dynamics but I try to keep those circles small too. I think the largest one should go is tribal like a wolf pack anything more is too much to me. I like communing with nature and see the wild as holy and something to be the standard for life. The human ego has strayed too far from that to me in modern civilization and "domestication of it's people". Yeah as an awakened vampire you have to navigate the wilderness and it can be scary and overwhelming at times but it's more real and rewarding to me than the sleeping domesticated mundanes that believe the lies fed to them.

I need to draw a line under my Tabby comments. Another day, another topic.

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Community politics. How easy a person can get sucked into that. It's like quicksand.

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You - Ronin, myself as a Nomad, equally wishing to be independent of others to a degree. A far off idea for me now. Not that I wish it anymore. I've traveled those paths alone in 'real life' before I found my community. In one sense, I'm far weaker than before, for my heart is no longer mine, in some ways, many times over, and in another sense I have a place of love to exist in.

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There is a strange jagged border here in VR between what people call vampires, demons, and other 'creatures' for want of a better term and the people who are not sure of their existence at all.

It's not really a world online or off for those kinds of begins to be accepted.

Best wrap it all up in fiction—nonfiction blogs and then get away with the shit you really want to talk about, without people thinking you have mental illness speaking only from a personal view.

I recently watched this video 10 Habits That Make People Dislike You. I pretty much failed on every one. I don't think I should just do the things to manipulate people but I am more conscious of these points to express myself and speak from my heart in a more pleasing tactful manner.

Community politics especially in this voting season you aptly inferred as quicksand. You got people knocking on your doors talking about their candidates. I get it it works for a lot a people to drum up votes but I'm not one of those people. I believe when you do anything like voting you have responsibility to make it count. So you have to do research on the different people then make an informed choice. Otherwise you become partly responsible when they mess up in their official duty. Let it be known now this American did NOT vote for Trump. I do believe in the power of Tariffs to bring manufacturing back to our country but fuck you got to back that up with subsidies to get citizens jobs not undercut it with all this spending on AI's putting people out of work. It looks like we are going down the route Russia's in with sending most of their working class into the meat grinder war machine of a senseless war. There is no fucking way I see Iran giving up their nuclear materials unless we send in an occupying Army to retrieve them ourselves and insure they don't use it in the future. There's probably centrifuges spinning up now in some dank caves as we speak to refine their nuclear material to weapons grade or to use in dirty cluster bombs. Be thankful they aren't using chemical or biological payloads as that's the real scary stuff.

Yeah there seems to be a bit of confusion about or jagged border as you put it in defining what creature's people are. There's different people too. The mundanes seem to have their role play for a catharsis for their boring lives and/or "furries", blood play etc for kink but then you have the reality of those that through the occult have this awakened state of mind that makes them real monsters with supernatural power but not like the superstitious mundanes see it that develop all kinds of crazy shit throughout history to explain things their way. Vampires coming back from the dead to suck the blood of the living to sustain their immortal life is just crazy to me. Now being able to astral project in a predatory form not just from your body now but also from your future grave to visit certain people you are bonded with is the power of awakened peoples' physical living brains which can be can be misconstrued to account for all the legends. The ancients' medicine thought the four humors accounted for life forces and blood was a major one but there are subtle forces one can drain and I think blood covenants are significant power relating to our microcosm in metaphysics. Developing a taste for that is natural to vampires. I identify as nosferatu in accord with Father Sabastiaan's definition as a vampyre that can feed from any source. I have this because of my relationship to the elemental that truly permeates the cosmos in every conceivable way.


If you are awakened then you have psychic senses and can use them to discern different things that are confusing to others trying explain with reasoning. No they need experience with the occult in order to differentiate and define things not just what they reason with their mind. To them we are crazy and talked about as mentally ill as you put it but they aren't awake to this Darkside of reality. It's as simple as that.

You need the test for people who take no shit and give few fucks.

I don't vote. It's a poisoned chalice.

SRe: Monsters. Some live life and often forget actually how fucked up that sounds, but what are you going to do? Existence is existence, whether you're a goldfish in a bowl or a werewolf howling at the moon. Never seen one yet, but I'm just dying at that possibility. I'm not writing it off, not with what's out there or rather what's in here, not VR. Man, I could just fucking weep. Fucking weep at the beauty that is hidden in this world. Fucking monster mansion, the Adams Family and the Munsters all rolled into one in some places. Sucks. Sucks!


Yeah, I know about the unawakened labelling monster shit as mental illness, but most people are sleeping, and I want to be seen as 'normal' so I can at least have the odd chat with them Lol.

I know all this is on the open board just don't give a shit atm Lol.

Weird mood, not weird, I'm in my monster mood m'wah!

Can't be bothered editing this post I know what it'll read like lol just can't seem to raise any fucks atm

It would appear not many read my journal judging from my last ten feature unless they logout and read it. I am pretty much treated like a pariah on this site. So you need not be concerned with many reading your comment. Well at least now perhaps that will change in the future. I prefer not not editing out comments and if you regret something to just use it as motivation to be more careful in the future.

Yeah I rarely vote too. The system is too corrupt for it to matter now to me. My responsibility is to work with occult forces to achieve my ends so if I want change I use magick to help.

I've been attacked by different spirits on this site weather they were astral forms or constructs I know not I just drove them off but they spice up life so maybe you'll have the experience too. I do remember being in the deep woods long ago and being attacked by some spirit that seemed bestial in nature though I haven't actually seen any werewolves. It is something I'd like to perceive myself sometime. I have met a strigoi though that was the most terrifying experience in my life but like a moth to the flame long for that holy dark presence again.

By now, as our friendship develops, as it has and does, I feel I can express myself more without coming across as weird. I am weird, but whatever Lol.

I love your posts, you know? They are full of depth and understanding, your mind is beautiful and inspiring, and I just plain love reading what your daily thoughts are on things. I feel happy, connected to you, it's just right. For me.

I have different experiences regarding the fallen angels, but it means little, for we have our life experiences. Sometimes they overlap, sometimes not. I'm always happy either way, yet whatever way they fall, I adore your thoughts.

We'll catch up as and when, as always.

Man, I add to stop myself adding an x. I'm so bad for that Lol.

I as well as many on this site appreciate your interaction and activity.

Yeah its the pool of life's experiences we have to draw from and that differs in many though we do seem to have common ground that creates an average for the whole of humanity. I've experienced angelic as well as strigoi astral beings pending the system my mind was trained by but they are constructs of many brains that we can tap into through our abstract thoughts from my vantage. I think its more appropriate to call them archetypes and they can impact our lives as they are quite sublime. But that power comes from the multitude of brains being tapped into at once and perceived as an individual being. Abstract thought creates this illusion.

Yeah I look forward to interacting with you and appreciate differences as it can get quite boring if everyone thought the same way and it doesn't intersect with our own happiness as is the habit of most who are still ruled by their emotions and egos.

LOL I'm an American male and its not customary to kiss each other as it is in other countries unless they are open to alternative sexuality. A *fist bump* is a more appropriate sign of solidarity among males to me. I do know that many males on this site have a machismo complex though especially when it comes to how much attention they get from females. I have found though being vampire can include aspects of sexuality it isn't bound by it. Many role players and posers get hung up on that but real vampires tend to not care where they get their blood from. I do think its right to respect the boundaries others set as well as not to exploit a person's sexuality for their own profit. In such cases if one must feed then they should just do it in secret like the vampire bat without others knowing.

VvvV
Tree

Thanks, Tree, I've refrained from using your name publicly, although it's fine now as you've signed off your reply with it.

If I wrote about my life experiences with what people call demons, I believe it would be deeply ridiculed, and from a real world POV, I think perhaps that would be the right thing. I had thought about adding 'Fiction or Fantasy' as a disclaimer, and writing about the things I experience currently and also in the past, but even the thought of that makes me want to just fucking weep. I have deep, deep feelings involved in those parts of my life. So some things get left unsaid. Just how it is. I can't see away around it.

There is, of course, the route of typing journals, and not disclaiming them as 'fiction' and having people think you have mental illness. It's a catch 22 in a world that doesn't deal with or understand the world within the world.

I do have a problem containing my sexuality. I have fed on males quite a lot really in hindsight, and have absolutely fucked up my sexual boundaries with men. That is something I've moved away from, just out of preference, but I still enjoy them now and again, if he's pretty enough — over the age of consent and consensual VR blog police.

I have my faults, as you know, and when you've helped correct me in the past, I take notice, or do my best to, and this is a good lesson for me too, so no kisses x, for you. I can work with that. I love your capacity to see a boundary being stepped over and having the strength to correct and educate me rather than dismiss and abandon. It means a lot to me. Thank you. And speaks so much of your character.

I've run out of things to say, catch up with you in the usual ways as and when and such and so on.

I mention my nickname openly in my profile. I've come across individuals who have done likewise then some drama happens and they stop but it really gets confusing when they change their profile name because they are being stalked by someone especially if as a vampire they made a deep feeding bond with them-they will always tracked down by that bond. So some kindred have signatures I've come to recognize over years of dealing with them and have mastery over themselves so don't get lost in another's personality.

I've had profound experiences with supernatural ethereal beings and OBE's. Also have experiences with some very dark and dangerous people and places others I know have lived charmed lives in safe places that just don't know for themselves.

I've been in relationships with T-girls but I respect them as females. Never found the appeal with other guys though that to me is just a matter of how I developed in life. I'm comfortable around the LGBTQ community and can joke around with them if they are mature but that's hard to read in a text field over the internet as many are insecure about it which causes problems. I do tend to see a lot of polyamorous among the kindred community though. My girlfriend is a black swan so doesn't really fathom this other dynamic I have as a vampire so can't commune with me on deeper level like a donor or vampire can but she's aware of my abilities to be with supernatural spirits...and is jealous too. It's a complex thing to navigate and our relationship isn't perfect but we make do with what we can.

Everyone's shit stinks just a matter of what one chooses to endure to build a relationship with them. I think I'm quite patient unless they are in a position of authority because I can't stand arrogance at all. By far that is what fucked me up the most in this life. People that need to "save face" and are ruled by their ego and need to be right when they are wrong don't have my respect. I don't give a fuck who they think they are or what position they hold.

Hmmmmmm.

Yeah I don't think I perceive reality the same way others do. Does this make me seem like a schizophrenic.