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Mel Schwartz - A Shift of Mind

If you have been abused, over time the abuse that was perpetrated on you may become the lesser issue. That is in your past, but the abuse you visit on yourself may well linger.



It takes the form of humiliation, shame, self-doubt, guilt and greatly impacts your self-esteem. This is in your power to change. The past can't be changed, but the present is in your hands.

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dabbler
14:37 Mar 26 2014

The way i see it, and post it on my profile is



We can carry the jagged pieces of our past, or we can cast them aside so that we may embrace new things.

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RaynesAsylum
23:29 Mar 26 2014

I couldn't agree more, dabbler.

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Most people today let the wrong "head" do all the thinking. That's mainly because some people feel that love is based on only sexual attraction. But when the love we have is not always returned, that idea of love can make us blind.

I know life is short and no one wants to waste it being all alone. But that doesn't mean you should settle for less.

Love is a feeling we have for that special person we want to be with in more ways than just physical and we don't always get to choose who that person is.

I don't think people will ever admit what they are really thinking about when they meet that person that turns them into a sex machine so to speak (lol). But physical attraction and sex isn't always love. We need to be honest with our-self and the one we are with..is it just physical or is it more? You may never truly know a person, their thoughts or what they really want from you. Love is not a one way road. He/she can love you today, can hate you tomorrow and you may never know if he/she was thinking with the right head.

To summon up genuine compassion for those who have wronged us, instead of allowing anger toward them to eat away at us, is the course of action recommended by most psychologists.( One exception to the belief that burying the hatchet brings peace to the soul may be sexual abuse: Some victims of these crimes are empowered when given permission to not forgive.) That being said, there have been many people in my life (mother in particular) that have looked the other way when bad things have happened to me or have let other things interfere with the bond we should of had..weather it be her past or what have you, she needs to learn forgiveness. The fact that she will not come to my graduation is proof that she is not ready to face her past, forgive and move on. I only wish she would take notice that I love her and have forgiven her years ago. I realize she has her own skeletons to deal with before even attempting to heal our relationship. As for the others...Grandma, I love you. For you to say that you are working on this...that means the world to me and gives me hope for my mother. For the asshole...you hurt me like no one should hurt a child...as much as I hate you, I have let it go in so many ways. Despite all you have done to me and my family...I am standing tall and strong. As for the ex hubby...until you learn to get over yourself you will never be at peace. I forgave you long ago but it is our son you will have to face one day. To any one that I may have hurt or done wrong...I only hope you can find it in you to forgive me and to find happiness and peace within.



All that off my chest...come this May...a whole new chapter in my life will begin. I do not want this old baggage holding me down, holding me back. Really life is too short to linger on the past. If you get hurt, take the time needed to heal don't old on to it...it will just darken your soul from the inside out.



To all those that have been there, helped me and encouraged me through my nasty divorce and starting my life over...you may never see how grateful I am, I only hope that you know that I appreciate it all. Thank you. (just a side note: yes this includes all VR friends and journal readers - luv ya!)

"If you could hear me, I would say that our finger prints don't fade from the lives we've touched." ~ Sharrod Dumas

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Isis101
22:56 Mar 22 2014

It takes a lot to forgive and to be forgiven. Wow.

I hope this continues to work for you.

And - congrats on the upcoming graduation!

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RaynesAsylum
05:59 Mar 23 2014

Thank you Isis...you are one of the special people I owe a thank you to...thanks ...a million times - thank you

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colemack13
16:59 Jul 02 2014

it takes a lot to get that off your chest...I hope the future brings you lots of happiness,better times..

your a great person and friend...

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today I get to order my cap and gown for graduation!! *excited*

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ZorayaAurora
15:13 Mar 20 2014

Congrats!!!

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RaynesAsylum
18:57 Mar 22 2014

Thank you!

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Loss...

I cant say I "lost" a friend...they may have passed away but they are not lost to me..."If you could hear me, I would say that our finger prints don't fade from the lives we've touched." ~ Sharrod Dumas



R I P my friends



Jonathan aka Gaulder



Sharrod Dumas

Dr. B. Melton



A little about Dr. Melton

- Doctoral Candidate at The University of Texas at San Antonio

- Volunteer therapist at Children's Bereavement Center

- Volunteer Therapist at Jewish Family Service

- School counselor at San Antonio ISD

- Teacher & School Counselor at SAISD

- Past President at TCA

- Past president at American School Counselor Association



I have her this semester as an undergrad but she normalyl lectures grad students. She has accomplished so much in the counseling profession and is a great woman to look up to.

On Feb 27th, I had a meeting with Dr Melton and it went well. We had Starbucks and talked for a little over and hour! She offered to write a recommendation letter for my application into grad school!!! She says that she looks forward to seeing me in her classes! She feels that I am a resilient woman and that I will excel in grad school. She was very reassuring and her words were definitely motivating. Now even though I do not desire to pursue a career in School counseling, she is very inspiring and encouraging. I am proud and honored to be her student.