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Cartomancer's Journal


Cartomancer's Journal

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4 entries this month
 

18:41 Dec 26 2024
Times Read: 174


Just reflecting on someone I e-met here on VR. I wouldn’t say I’d befriended him – but I took him up on an offer during a very vulnerable time in my life. The pandemic had just started, and I was in the beginning stages of starting my VA disability claim. I was overmedicated by a provider and things were just whack. I wondered how I was ever going to be able to get out of a financial hole and I took this guy up on his offer to do some clerical work for him remotely.

I ended up getting swindled and having several hundred dollars stolen. No need to get into the specifics… But me not being in the best state of mind due to the medication I was on, the huge concerns with anxiety I had going on with my disability case… There I was, ripe for being a victim, a “mark”, if you will. And those several hundred dollars were taken just before I needed to pay the rent. And because I didn’t want to ask anyone for help at that time (been there too many times), I took out a very high interest loan.

All of that is over now – but I think back to how I have “won“ in life in so many ways since then. This guy really thinks he has worked people over and ended up being the last person laughing… But that’s not true. My life is financially secure until I die, I’m sure he still hustling in all shady ways– and this guy has been in jail on multiple occasions for shit he’s pulled. God only knows the different types of crimes he’s been involved in.

I’m just happy to say that, even though he had me in a position where I was really scared financially at one point – that the universe decided to take care of me. For a little while this guy tried to play innocent and promised to give me the money back… Then he started dodging my emails only to eventually say, yeah – I was played. And he had no remorse.

Screw you, man. I did look into you a lot further after you pulled that trash- and even though it may be true that there was a serious tragedy with your immediate family when you were younger… That’s no excuse to be a wretch. I’ve had serious tragedies in mine – even beyond the atrocity that happened in yours. And I didn’t turn out to be an asshole. I don’t work people over. I don’t steal from people.

Wonder how many more trips to Rikers Island he has made since he stole from me?

I probably mentioned this in my journal before… It’s just something I was thinking about right now as I acknowledge how blessed I am on the second day of Christmas. It’s a pretty great feeling considering the worries I’ve had in the past. I’m not worried about money anymore – I have yet to build a cushion or really be “ahead” because I have been taking care of family… But my bills are paid- and my credit report is clear. I have to put the brakes on paying things for everybody else - I just remember what it was like for me and have tried to help others a little too much. But there are worse choices to make. And stealing is definitely not one for me.

*****

This is something else I might have mentioned in my journal before – and if I haven’t, here goes. During this very same time that I was swindled by this dude, somebody here on VR was hacked on Facebook. The hacker sent me a bunch of messages trying to get me to invest in something and that my money would triple or some shit like that… I was so frazzled and concerned that I decided to take a leap and gave several hundred dollars just for it to (AGAIN) be stolen. I believed this person because I didn’t realize they were hacked – and what’s wild is… There was every red flag that this was a hacker and not the actual person. I just wasn’t able to recognize it due to what was going on with me then. These are the types of things no smart person would do. And I am a smart person… But if you take a smart person and put them in a bad situation alongside taking too much medication… it doesn’t matter how smart you are in your right mind… You aren’t in your right mind THEN.

I hate to admit it, but I almost killed myself. Almost, a handful of times during that spell. It is a damn miracle that I am alive to post this entry. But this is me – about 2 1/2 years after calling the Veterans Crisis Hotline and coming out of that hole.

Happy second day of Christmas.


COMMENTS

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CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
21:42 Dec 26 2024

I for one am so very glad that you are still with us. The world is a brighter place because of you.

I am so sorry that all that happened to you, but you are right, you came out on top! That asshole will get everything he deserves in life and you will continue to thrive and do wonderful things! It's a wonderful thing to know that there are good kind hearted people like you in the world that shine brighter than those evil beings that take advantage of people.





OccultRanger
OccultRanger
23:41 Dec 26 2024

Wow. I always pictured you raking in the dough with your tarot reading. As misery desires company its good to know you suffer with the rest of us. ;)





Cartomancer
Cartomancer
01:18 Dec 27 2024

I didn’t really know how to market myself as a reader. I still use them every day and I have over 100 decks. It’ll always be a part of who I am.

I haven’t given up doing something with that – something I could get into maybe is daily readings for the Earth, Air, Water, and Fire signs - there are a lot of accounts out there like that, but if you can give those free general readings for the signs pretty often (post videos or even just short write ups), you can gather a following and then maybe clients after that. If people resonate with your readings, they will come to you on their own.

I’ve just been pouring all of my time into school lately.





Morrigon
Morrigon
20:43 Dec 27 2024

I don't believe anyone endures struggle with the hope of being inspirational, but you are all the same. Though I know you're on the right path and doing awesome and I am SO HAPPY your disability case has given you the closure and help you more than deserve, I still want to repeat what I've said before: You are not alone, sure as hell not while I'm still breathing. I always had and always will have your back and my door is always open. And by open door, I mean I'd literally U-Haul your ass up here to be with me, lol.





MooniePie
MooniePie
20:53 Dec 27 2024

If you U-haul your ass up there just think you two can venture through Cananda and come here to visit!





Cartomancer
Cartomancer
22:09 Dec 27 2024

I appreciate these responses.

I know this journal entry was a whole lot of humiliating revelation. But the fact is, we all make mistakes and we all go through crap. I think no matter how successful and strong we may seem, we are all human and we go through times in our lives where we are just vulnerable to people who are predators. I think the worst part of it is acknowledging that I allowed myself to be tricked in ways that I never would have in my (say once again) right mind. I’m just so damn happy to be back in it now. My right mind, that is.

More than that, I’m happy that I was able to get through it because one of the most despicable things a person can do is fuck with another human who is already at the bottom of the barrel. As weak as I may have seemed during those times – I must be pretty strong to have made it to the other side. I lost a lot of money – but I’m not the loser here. I don’t care to ever see that money again. There’s an old saying that kinda goes like… A small price to pay to remove people from your life 😂

And Moonie- what you just said sounds like an amazing vacation. I go up to see Morrigon… And we drive through Canada to come visit you. I’ve never been to Canada and I need to get my crap together and get a passport so I can do it.





MooniePie
MooniePie
00:24 Dec 28 2024

There are some miserable fucks here and across the interwebs. It feels humiliating when your in that situation- been there got the t-shirt and kick in the ass to go with it. And fuck that dude. While I don't know the the players in the game still- Fuck that dude. Dumpster fire of epic proportions.

Yes! Yes! Yes!! It would be so much fun! I think you'd enjoy the part of Canada in the inbetween. I think it's about 5 hours- give or take from her to I. I'd even let her take a picture of me! Lol





STABB666
STABB666
02:37 Jan 02 2025

I love hearing that you're in such a better place now, all around. You're worth so, so much more than the crap you've had to deal with, but perhaps that's built you up a little bit of good credit for the next phase of your journey. Looking forward to seeing you on that adventure!

Best of good fortune for you into this new year. :)





 

22:01 Dec 18 2024
Times Read: 226


Is Christmas really next week?

Nothing is going on here – now that my son has his girlfriend living with him, they will be spending their first holiday alone and that’s cool. I don’t mind that and I totally understand. I’m not even upset about nothing going on under my roof. I have a little Christmas tree in my bedroom (new one, I just gave my son all my Christmas decorations that he grew up with so he could decorate at home and also inherit them early), and I will cook anyway.

I don’t need any presents either. Can’t even think of a single thing I really want. I feel content just focusing on my schoolwork.

🎄


COMMENTS

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TheAbyss
TheAbyss
23:34 Dec 18 2024

aww Merry Christmas





 

20:07 Dec 08 2024
Times Read: 265


I see that typo in my previous entry and I’m not going to fix it. I have an extra “of”, and oh well. lol


Keeping insanely busy with all the writing. But that is to be expected. I’m doing what I love, so even being exhausting, it makes me happy.


COMMENTS

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Zarr
Zarr
03:31 Dec 09 2024

👍





TheAbyss
TheAbyss
23:34 Dec 18 2024

it happens hon





 

05:28 Dec 01 2024
Times Read: 278


To all who celebrated, I hope you had a pleasant Thanksgiving. I cooked and cooked and cooked and cooked… I’ve also been doing tons of things around the house because my son moved back out- and I’ve been rearranging things, and spiffying up after giving him a lot of of my furniture.

So exhausted that yesterday I took a nap for six hours! Now my internal clock is all messed up.


COMMENTS

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CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
CuRsEdToDaRkNeSs
08:02 Dec 01 2024

I hope that after all that cooking and cooking you enjoyed your Thanksgiving as well!
I hear ya on the messed up internal clock! Once it gets off track, it's so difficult to get sorted back out.








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