EstrangedOne's Journal

EstrangedOne's Journal


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3 entries this month

And of All Things... An Experimental Thought Strikes me...

20:35 Apr 21 2023
Times Read: 196

I just recently had an odd idea hit me, that I might try tuning my music to "special" frequencies, just to see what happens.
Since I can't exactly go on webcam on here, at this point (since that feature is still completely screwed, for some reason), I find myself thinking that I need to get my hands on some kind of tripod for my phone (and possibly also a video camera), so I can at least put some videos of my experimentation on YouTube.

I don't know why, but given that a few frequencies have actually been catching quite a bit more attention, over the past few years, I've been debating on trying them out, since I recently realized that I can hit the exact range with vocals (don't even ask me how I found that out). But I've even gone to re-tuning my guitar specifically for the purpose. And I also find myself wondering if I should test it out with any audio I have to use my computer to create.




Something I've Been Pondering Over For a Little While...

05:27 Apr 13 2023
Times Read: 226

I've been finding myself at a little bit of a "festering" moment, every now and then, while working with my music, on top of waiting for my main job to get back to me with the latest details...

I've been wanting to either do some live videos, every now and then, or just some video recordings with the guitar, mainly as something to at least put on the Tube, while also giving myself some practice and thinking time, with some of my songs, since, admittedly, it can get rather interesting, trying to fit certain tunes in with something that isn't typically your personal style. Especially when you have multiple different styles by which you work. That can get a little confusing, at times.

Granted, I know that about ten-ish years ago, the webcams on here were almost lit up like a Yuletide log/Christmas tree. But obviously, in the past decade, things, even on here, have changed quite drastically. Now, really, it's more a factor that not many people really give a crap about, unless someone has been hounding the main man on here, about it, and I haven't heard (which wouldn't surprise me, in the least).

Either way, I find myself thinking of doing some guitar recording - nothing real major, mind you (no pun intended). Just some practice and maybe some "fretting around", since I'm still learning my chords all over again. For some reason, I still do alternate scales better than actual chords, and I don't really know why, just yet. I've been trying to do chords, and for some reason, I still find myself stuck with a select few that I can do, not even by memory, but "by heart", as it were. I can't even recall what half of them are called, if that says anything. Yet, somehow, I still have my old "knack" with the strings.
Anyway... for some reason, I find myself thinking that the more affirmative responses I have, here, the more I may push to do said videos. But otherwise, I might just say "fuck it" and continue using my guitar as a focus point, to help me think, while I work.

Overall, I think I've simply been too... I don't want to use the word, because every time I do, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. But I've been too depressed, overall, for awhile, to really be able to think. Even the latest string of music I've been doing, I've been struggling not to do one specific style, because it doesn't match, at all. I keep finding myself veering more toward the love songs than anything, when I'm trying to do something strictly based off technological advancements.

Anyway... I think I have gone off on tangent enough for a night.



23:56 Apr 13 2023

The cams here was fun. If you could handle the drama tied to them. But some great times on cams. Wish you would do a cam session.

02:40 Apr 14 2023

Actually, of all ironies, I don't recall much "drama" being brought to my webcam. But then, that's most likely because I'm "the asshole no one wants to start shit with". I don't really give a shit, so I'm more than capable of and willing of bringing my issue(s) straight to someone's face ((insert shrug, here)).
But since the 2021 update(s) Cancer did, I haven't been able to utilize the webcams, at all. Not even as a spectator. So, after several attempts (the number of which escapes me), I simply said "fuck that" and decided to continue with other things, instead.

But again, the more affirmative feedback I get about it, the more likely I'll be to do it, even if it's via my usual platform(s). I just won't use shit like TikTok or the like, because it's just fucking stupid. And admittedly, the Rave has simply lost a LOT of its old flavour and purpose. So, even if I could use the webcams, on here, what would be the point? A greater level of bullshit? No thanks. we all have enough of that in our regular personal lives.


Despite Recent Events...

06:11 Apr 05 2023
Times Read: 275

Despite having to move, recently, I've still been able to do my music, which... surprisingly, was almost a prerequisite of me even being allowed to move in where I currently am, now. And as odd as it sounds, I'm not even joking when I say that.

I've actually been asked to be a live-in caretaker to a Vietnam vet (on top of my typical job), whom... surprisingly enough, is the exact opposite of someone else of the same exact background and name, that I've known for the past nigh 30 years. As soon as the guy heard that I'm a musician, working on getting my music "out there", his eyes seemed to light up like it was Yuletide on All Hallows Eve.
But of course, the last time I came to see him, prior to moving in, he asks me how my music is going. At the time, I was hitting a slight road block. Now, of course... not quite so much, but still a faint one. But apparently, if I weren't doing my music (and as He describes it, "such a weirdo"), he would've first told me to "kick rocks". Go figure, I would get "lucky" like that, Now, of all times. But as long as I can do the one thing that brings me a semblance of peace, these days, I really don't care too much.

Unfortunately, though... I still find myself feeling the old "rut", so to speak, every other day... music and this guy's cat and dog are about the only things that help to keep me from wanting to take a power drill or something to my cranium (not that it would do any good, anyway).
For some reason, I seem to consistently have this messed up thought that someone may have actually had a faint point when he kept asking if I had a girlfriend... So many thoughts seem to keep messing with my head, of late, that I can't help but think about the incessant loneliness. Even I have to admit that it truly is a bitch when you have no one to consider your "significant other", be it in marriage or otherwise. And considering I refuse to ever be in wedlock again... ya... A long-term/indefinite girlfriend, sure. But a wife? Not a chance.

In any case, I supposed, it might be about time for me to turn in for a little while. I do have one Hell of a day ahead of me, when I get up, despite it being a relatively short day, in all technicality.



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