Honor: 261 [ Give / Take ]
7 entries this month
To The ''Dabbler'' In The Dark--
12:40 Dec 22 2013
Times Read: 540
Yes, little "Dabbler"; I did block you. "Why?" Because I'm tired of you 'dabbling' your evidently four-inch-long nose into things that you can obviously never comprehend. Your name evidently suits you perfectly, it would seem. 'Dabbling' in things that you know absolutely nothing about, and yet you think you know it all... Wake up, little friend; No One 'Knows It All'.
Though I really hate to say it, you need to learn to back off, and shut the Hell up. Poke your nose into other 'Mundane' matters and other 'simple' issues, before you decide to bite off more than you can chew. And trust me, my Mundane friend... when it comes to someone like myself, you are lucky that I've only blocked you, because you have come dangerously close, already, to doing just that. Your skepticism of literally EVERYTHING is one thing. But your incessant insults and derogatory statements about things that you can't even grasp are something entirely different.
Yes; I am a "Social Pariah", as you put it. Yes; I tend to be "Ostracized" for What and WHOM I am. You, yourself have already proven me correct, in this.
Yes; I am "Arrogant", and I have more than enough reason to be. Unlike you, I've literally been through Hell and back, more times than I care to explain. No; I am no "Egotist", nor am I "Narcissistic". I don't take pleasure in my own body. I deleted your last comment to my journals because I'm sick of your idiocy and your Mundane (evidently of a whole new level) way of thinking. Try going through what I have been through, and THEN tell me, To My Face, that I'm full of shit. Something tells me you wouldn't survive for even one day, in the places I've been to. Try opening your frail mind, and seeing the world for what it Really is. But for now, "Auf Wiedersehen".
This Cannot Be Good--
12:31 Dec 21 2013
Times Read: 558
I know it's relatively 'normal' for infants to have nightmares. It opens the mind to the knowledge and existence of fear. But not like this...
Little Nevaeh is becoming afraid of me. My own 'niece' is afraid of my presence. Even though I would never hurt her- I would never bring harm to any child, for that matter. And yet, she feels I would. Infant or not, the child shows signs of being a Born-Awakened Telepath.
She's been having MY nightmare for a week, now. And it's still going through her mind.
I don't care what any 'skeptic' says; there is no way this can be a good thing. Of all things, one of the very last that I want is for this child to fear Me, knowing that I've been the one protecting her. But if I even get close to her, now, she already gains a look of absolute terror upon her face, and begins screaming like she is being attacked by Demons.
A Demon of the Blood and Soul though I may be, she and her parents all know I would never willingly bring harm to this child. So Why In The Hell is she beginning to fear me?
I'm damn near wracking my brain on this, among other things, enough, as it is.
Something feels all wrong, and I'm beginning to not like it in the least. And people wonder why I say that "God" shows little more than spite toward my very existence...
The Song From My Blood Brother--
07:58 Dec 21 2013
Times Read: 570
I have to say, I've never once pegged my old Blood Brother for a man of country music. I know exactly what song he intended his little 'spin off' to be "themed" after. And to be honest, I'm not sure anyone really even wants to know what it is. It only goes to show how close Logan and I were as friends, even compared to brothers who've been separated at birth. So damn close in bond that the way we looked after each other made most married couples seem like they hated each other.
Yet at the same time, it just goes to show how twisted he and I were known for being, at times. I'm still not sure how I should look at the song he wrote. It's a little bit spooky.
I just found this; from my 'Blood Brother'-
07:39 Dec 21 2013
Times Read: 576
I just found this in an envelope addressed to me from I-don't-know-how-long ago. I just remember the night it describes. Evidently, my old Blood Brother wrote it, after some trouble with his older sister's boyfriend. I only remember one thing about him-- He was one PSYCHOTIC son of a bitch. I just wish Logan had given it a title. I have to admit, I do miss the man, though a dumb ass he may be, at times. I guess he thought of this as me "returning the favor" for him carrying me to the hospital, when we were twelve.
Buddy, I remember it like it was today,
but it was more than yesterday.
I had taken my big sister out to drink.
Now, I knew she was on the brink
of letting her blood flow right down the sink.
She found out her man was cheating,
just like my “twin” bro's beatings
damn near every day at school,
by every other motherfucker
who thought that they were “cool”.
Now, my dad had his own bar,
just down past the Biss road park,
The place that everybody
knew was safe from all the bloody
shit that always kept us afraid of the dark.
She was about to start usin' and her man had been abusin
her at every other turn, until it left a burn.
And just when I thought I was succeedin'
at helping her forget about his treason,
that bastard of a man bashed-a-bore right through the door.
When I saw the crazed look in his eye,
I thought somebody was sure to die,
but I wasn't gonna let him near her one more time.
I was pissed and scared, I stood between them, like a wall,
I hoped I was prepared, but he seemed damn near ten feet tall.
This asshole, built like a tank, now the first thing I was thinkin'
was “I hope I got what it takes to send him sinkin'.”
But the next thing I recall, he had us both against the wall,
throttling us like chickens in a coop, and I couldn't even get a scoop
of strength to hit him to turn 'round for a hoop.
The bar was already black as night,
and we're still both tryin' to fight
this man gone crazy-out-of-line.
And just when I thought we were takin' our last breath,
a hand came from behind him, long and un-mistaken, the hand of death.
Now, I know this might sound crazy, but the next thing I could see
was a pair of eyes in sight, blacker than the deepest shades 'o night,
and a face as white as bone to accompany a deafening vocal drone.
It was my Gothic ole' “twin” bro, madder than a pissed off crow,
so mad he made the lights glow, flash and flicker like a strobe light show.
I had helped him once, years ago,
and now he's paid me back with one freaky show,
like the old Taker, he became the Shaker
of my mind, he's not human, it ain't right,
my best friend became a nightmare that night.
“I'm just kidding, dude. You know I love my twin brother. I just couldn't get that night out of my head today. Lol” -Logan
11:30 Dec 15 2013
Times Read: 609
Already, tonight, I have had to deal with (i.e., Channel and Feed from) One Very Pissed Off Spirit, deal with the Mundane Human who seems to have a knack for pissing these things off...
Ten Pounds worth of their food have the potential of going bad, tonight...
At least one "Anonymous" person being (in My eyes) the equivalent of a horse shit Public Pretender and "Psychotherapist"...
I nearly COOKED my phone, my computer, the Human's television, and pretty much ALL electronics (in other words, damn near fried the whole building) in the house, earlier, tonight...
I almost made an apartment's lights explode with frustration and the damned 'psychic' chatter, prior... the computer damn near blacks out, on webcam... TWICE... hands have been shaking from frustration and agitation...
Dare I Ask... WHY I am still foolish enough to not simply leave, Already, when I should have left MONTHS ago, and simply become a ghost to all of the world, aside from a very few?
Or more... what in the Hell is wrong with people who seem to insist upon not only pissing me off... but insulting Me and the Honor I was raised by?
I almost don't even want to say what insult I was passed, tonight, because it is just that Goddamn sickening to even Think about.
And the Mundanes wonder why those like myself remain in the shadows of society... "Get Thy Heads Out Of Thine ASSES", people.
People and Their Vampyre-
07:36 Dec 13 2013
Times Read: 648
I think I have finally learned, the Hard way, that Me and technology such as Wrist Watch batteries... Do Not Mix.
I've only JUST replaced Clifford's old watch with a completely Fresh battery, and the damn thing dies the next damn day.
I keep forgetting that I drain almost anything with electromagnetic fields, or electronic pulse (in other words, essentially anything even remotely electronic).
Small wonder I have to recharge even my phone every few hours. And my laptop is even worse- having to be recharged every HALF an hour.
And people wonder why I hate technology (besides being nearly unable to understand it).
And even more, people wonder why I say --
"You have no idea what you will become, by being 'like Me'."
Not many stop to think about one little aspect of being what the Vampyre Community sometimes calls a "tri- breed hybrid"; If you can so easily drain TECHNOLOGY of its power, no matter its generation or capacity, without even trying, then imagine what one can do to a Living PERSON.
Not a "pretty" thought to most, I wager. You may THINK "oh, I would love to drain people of their life energy at will", but I'll tell you, now... few people have Any idea how long it took me to master control over MY capacity and ability. In a 'raged' state, yes; obviously I have perfect control. But in that state, I also don't really care what I do, or (for the most part) Who I do it to.
Not many really understand the price of being an individual if my 'caliber' or "class".
I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but Hell- Even upon my return to this Hell, I was so agitated (yes, only agitated) that my energies drained a fully functional car of its battery And I made the damn thing shut down, almost completely. To the point where it almost wouldn't even turn.
Now, if I can do THAT, alone... then just imagine what I can do to a PERSON, if I really attempt and focus enough. I've done exactly that before, without intent, and I nearly killed one of my former best of friends - I put her into a comatose state, for only about three hours, and she nearly died in my arms, until I realized that I was the one that did it. And that was only with a touch of about 0.5 seconds.
Now, think about the differences between Sanguine, Psychic, and Psionic- give up?
I don't rely on Psychic power anywhere near as much as Psionic Energy. This is what I am able to bend and it's what I feed from, no matter the time or day. Partly also it is why I can't eat much. Metabolic problem caused by the Soul.
14:40 Dec 12 2013
Times Read: 655
I hate to say it, but there are yet even MORE problems with the "new HTF", though temporary it was meant t be, anyhow. But it wasn't meant to be THIS "temporary".
Currently, none of the alterations I do are working, which means that I can't fix what bugs are in our own damn Site. This has been going on for over a Week, now; and evidently, without my knowing, because THIS server company has decided not to let me know.
Well, to Hell with "Spruz" (as if This wasn't obvious enough, from the LAST version of "HTF"...)
I'll have to walk away from yet ANOTHER version of rebuilding "HTF", if the company doesn't have the problems fixed soon. So much for "Corporate Efficiency". Their own Goddamn IT's can't fix the problem, when for all I know, it's something so damn simple that I could likely do it, myself (knowing My luck, anyhow). And THIS one is in dealing with "Webs". And they supposedly have a better reputation than the last company I went through. IT's a damn good thing I wasn't foolish enough to attempt paying for my service to them, because this is just ridiculous.
I'm not much good with coding. But I'm beginning to think that I may as well just say "To hell With It" and attempt to 'forge' "HTF" on my own grounds. But I can see just how well that one will turn over... Not Very Well, At All.
I am actually getting irritated, t the point where I am beginning to wonder, all over again, how long it takes a body to drain of certain required fluids, and how much longer, yet, to decompose.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
It really is a pity that I don't understand enough of modern technology to be able to o everything on my own. Frankly, this is really beginning to piss me off. I honestly don't remember the last time I was this irritated with so-called "Technological Advancements".
Sadly, I'm actually thinking of possibly just setting up with something as simple as possible, until I can actually do something progressive and productive with "HTF", because there is NO Goddamn reason for all this bullshit.