EstrangedOne's Journal


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5 entries this month

Editing (Technically Finished Work) Can Be A Real Headache...

02:25 Jun 30 2023
Times Read: 115

One of the biggest irritations of making your own music is having to edit your work. And by this, I mean things such as Volume/Loudness Stability, Trimming, and having to blend and "master" things that are just being a difficult pain in the ass.

Specifically, with this one, I have been working on stabilizing the sound in my latest songs, before I can really put the music out there. I have a nearly pocket-sized Bluetooth speaker that I have to use, since it gets a little (or a Lot) more clarity than my laptop does. So, it's pretty bad when a speaker that can nearly shake the walls with the volume is almost blowing out the magnets that make the damn thing. Although, the biggest thing that annoys all to Hell, is when you have a voice that can naturally warp with more power than EVP put into a super-subwoofer in the middle of a war zone.

Pretty much any time I sing, I have the urge to just say "fuck it", and let loose (the biggest issue of being an old metal head, among other things)... which does not exactly go well with having a talent for making electronics/electrical go haywire. So, ya... I really have to maintain constant control, or shit just gets "weird". Either my voice just doesn't register (correctly, or at all), or my system just goes nuts. Yet, naturally, it only happens when I sing. My guitar? Very seldom do I have trouble with that, unless I decide to warp even that to a frequency that I wish I could use. But I'm getting off-topic, there.

So far, I have almost the entire album (numerically) finished. I am MAYBE one song away, if I cut out the song dedicated to my son. But when you're having to stabilize everything, so it doesn't blow out the speaker (or worse, the ears) - which, in this case, it's Always The Vocals... I don't ever seem to have the same issue with the guitar. Instead, on that one, the problem is always the background clarity that gives me trouble. I just played back two particular songs, which (just the vocals) nearly blasted a hole straight through the speaker, which, mind you, is designed specifically to handle absurd levels of bass & loudness. It will handle pretty much anything else I throw at it, inclusive of EBSM, Bass Mekanik (which, I might add, if you don't have the equal of a high-power subwoofer, Mekanik is almost guaranteed to blast your speakers to Hell (I found that out a long time ago)), etcetera, even on maximum volume. But apparently, my voice gets so powerful that the speaker almost fried on both songs, at not even 30% volume. So, I am thus having to stabilize each and every song, just to make sure I don't miss anything. And sound/volume stabilization is usually fairly simple (at least, I think it is). But apparently, not when your voice even makes the microphone go nuts.

I really don't know if I have enough wine to last through this one (mind you, I am being much more facetious, in that, but still).



16:24 Jun 30 2023

Keep at it. The music, not the wine. :)

16:47 Jun 30 2023

I kind of have to keep at it, anyway (the music And the wine).
I promised someone I took care of, as of last year, that I would continue with the music. Since she died, I don't dare stop with the music, because I don't feel like having another friend's soul haunting me and driving me up the wall.

Although, I will definitely say that I look forward to getting this album out there. I actually have an associate stopping by this early evening, to hear it before I set it up for release.


In Regardss to The Personal Website...

21:01 Jun 24 2023
Times Read: 142

Well, it seems that even I sometimes fail to realize just how serious or accurate I am, when I say that modern-day technology/electronics and myself don't seem to get along... either that, or pretty much every platform is just plain crap, these days. Which, honestly, considering my already preexisting arrogance, I am a little inclined to believe that modern-day platforms are just trash.

Just earlier this morning, since finishing one of my latest songs, I tried four different site-builder platforms to work with. And pretty much all of them ended the same way, so far: A Big Dead-Fucking-End. Granted, that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm throwing in the towel on that end. But it does mean that apparently, I am NOT supposed to be working on that, right now. So, I'm just going to say "screw it", for the time being, and work on my album, and what-have-you.

Speaking of all this, however, I have also been debating upon doing a a live stream, at some point, though... unfortunately, I can't use the Rave for that, since, apparently, the webcams are still crapped out. So, IF I did, then it would have to be via my YouTube channel, but at the same time, at this moment I have no idea, really what I would even talk about (especially considering I'm not exactly the type that enjoys physically TALKING...)

So damn many things going through my mind, right now, I swear, it is ridiculous. And almost half of it, I am focusing (intently) on, just to postpone doing the one song that I know I won't be able to do without breaking down, all while actually doing it... Ya... my mind is racing like Hell, of late.



23:36 Jun 26 2023

You could read your poetry or read and dissect other poems?

02:28 Jun 30 2023

Well, possibly. Though, either way, it doesn't really matter what I decide to do - doing pretty much anything on my channel means likely having to be on camera. Damn occupational hazard(s).


Well, This One Should be Interesting... To Say The Least...

10:11 Jun 24 2023
Times Read: 150

Apparently, I've just finished a song, tonight/this morning, that is so "heavy" that it actually took a major toll on my computer's processing power. Granted, I've noticed that I tend to put a ton of "heavy weight" on this thing, but thus far, this song, in particular, really seems to take the cake.
The song, itself, is called "Exiled". And I can't even joke about it, when I say that despite my computer having an absurd level of both processing power and RAM, it actually took nearly five minutes to actually render this song. And for those unaware of what it takes to compose and render music with a home system... that is a truly ridiculous piece of music. It even gave my DAW (Digital Audio Workshop) system/program quite a bit of trouble.
The strange thing is that I actually do all of my music work VERY minimally; meaning, I everything both raw and with only my guitar and vocals. Beyond that, I only design my own drumming beats, which are also, typically, very minimal. So, honestly, for just one song to give my SYSTEM this kind of trouble, despite how simply 'fun' it was for me to do... Yikes.

That little tidbit aside, however, I am also currently working on my personal/music site, which... I really have no idea when that one will be up and finished, because I am not one bit familiar with the platform I'm using to build it (honestly, I'm really just too lazy and busy to build it from scratch). But once I have it finished, I will also be putting the link to that in my profile, on here, so that people can drop in for a visit (obviously, it's not a social media platform, like this, but more of a personal/contact page, which I don't even know just how often I'll be able to work with that, with always working on my music, instead).




Something... HIGHLY Personally Problematic...

04:23 Jun 20 2023
Times Read: 187

I will admit, I'm not a big fan of most "holidays". Some even less so than others, for obviously, personal reasons. But especially "Father's Day"...
This past weekend has been insanely troublesome; As of this latest Father's Day, it has been Seven Years since my (now ex) wife and I lost our son. Naturally, our life together only went further to Hell, after that point.
Well, granted the ex-wife and I have somehow (mainly via her persistence) managed to remain friends, even after our divorce, etc.. But the other day, she suggested that we both do our own method of "gaining closure" with the child we lost. Her being a Witch, by blood, among other things, she decided to write him a letter and send it to him via the traditions she once kept to. Myself, of course, my means is my music. But there is one BIG problem, with that.

Just in simply writing the song for our son, I was unable to prevent myself from breaking down. And it's just as bad, trying to actually DO the fucking thing. I cannot even maintain myself enough to read the lyrics I wrote for it.

I don't feel much of anything, beyond the obvious sorrow or rage (the curse of having been forced to become something given an already ugly stigma). But it's pretty fucking bad when I can't even do a song for my own little boy, because it literally (mentally and physically) hurts too much for me to even function. I couldn't prevent myself from breaking down while writing it, and it is either just as bad, or worse, when I actually try to make the song real. Frankly, this is the first time that anyone will ever know of something like this coming from me, but... I really don't know if I can do the song for my son. I am halfway complete with my album coming, and this particular song... Hell, I don't even think I can do it. For the very first time, I am genuinely stuck. The only thing I can really think of is to either try my damnedest to redo the song, so I CAN do it (in which case, the point of it is likely to be completely lost or too distorted)... or I just "Deep-Six" the goddamn thing. I actually don't know what the Hell to do, here. And frankly, every time I even think about it, it actually brings me to tears. And for someone driven to being pretty much completely numb, I should think that says a Lot.



05:43 Jun 20 2023

Keep the song and doing the so g with the emotion . It will touch more people that way. Not just you and your son.

16:30 Jun 20 2023

Grief takes time. Forcing yourself isn't helping you heal, as your ex wished. Just remember him the way you wish at your own speed.


And "Addendum" is Now Live...

02:00 Jun 10 2023
Times Read: 217

The album, "Addendum" is now, completely live on the platforms I've mentioned, before. Of course, however, since apparently, technology really doesn't like me, it has to be searched in quite an interesting manner..

As I've pointed out, before, I really did not want to do it the way I did, but even I have to admit, it turned out pretty well, for what I had to do with it (I'm not a big fan of having to do electronic/digitally generated sound/instrumentals).

Apparently, however, to find it, you have to actually search my whole name AND the album name (of course, I will also be putting links to Spotify and YT Music, for it), even if one keeps up with my personal channel(s).

Granted, "Addendum" is far from what I prefer to do (obviously). But what I have been working on, in the time since I finished it (and even surrounding it)... far more my style. A more Gothic mix of Rock and Metal. Bot especially for those curious and interested, I will be putting links up, at the end of this, for you to check out. But a little forewarning for anyone who finds the curiosity... Especially, in comparison, "Addendum" is... a pretty weird one.
I am still trying to get a few things straightened out, otherwise, but at least, it is live for people to hear. And if you hear it and enjoy, then feel free to share it with others. Believe me, it is more than welcomed - Though, I do suspect people will really like what I'm working on, in the time being.

YouTube Music: https://music.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLQ1JWSM-_Ly9cAnXMhE-wHFxi5EAU1ODy&feature=share

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4H37AIXf6Gg6AhxVpYfUJa?si=e63e89de511d49a8

To find "Addendum" anywhere else that I've mentioned, before, you will have to search "Krow des Alexander Addendum". Again, for some reason, getting that little detail fixed (properly) is still being a pain in the ass.



15:42 Jun 10 2023

Congratulations. I listen to some on the Youtube link.

04:22 Jun 12 2023

Hey, good to know. Though I have to admit, I didn't realize until just a little bit ago, that the links I put here have to be copy-pasted (I feel like a bit of a tard for that one). But they can also be found via my main page; both Spotify and YouTube.

Personally, though, I think and feel that Addendum is pretty much child's play, in comparison to what I'm working on, now.

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