I was debating on whether or not to even journal about this today but here I am so I guess I decided. I just do not like to whine or complain about things in general as it tends to do very little good.
Today is someone's birthday, someone I was close to growing up. While they past years ago, I mean over ten years ago, this day still weighs heavy on my heart and in my mind. I try not to think about all the lost years we could have had together, his stupid laugh which you could not help but to laugh right along with...damn I miss that. I tell myself that this year, this time we are not going to think about all the times we were able to share, the good, the bad, the ridiculous shenanigans we got up to, the havoc we wreaked and laughed about or all the little pranks we played. Every fucking year it seems I fail as thought and memories of this person inundate my mind.
Then there is the intense anger I feel at having them ripped from my life...taken by another who couldn't bother to make the responsible choice. I try so hard not to hate but in truth, I hate the man who stole this person from me and not just from me but from everyone else this person would have encountered if that stupid fuck had just chosen a better path. In as much as the memories flood through me every damn year so does this rage and loathing...I wish I could let it go.....be more forgiving but in the end...I just can't...not yet anyways.
Love you dude, I loved you then, I love you now, I will love you forever..
They say that time heals all wounds
A loss of a century. Pain and anger will fade, but hold on to the memories of good for time will eventually steal those too. Friends are here if needed.
I have enjoyed a great many things during my time here on VR, the people I have come to know and calls friends, my House which I love being a part of, posting in the forums and having fun, even the database has it charms...but there is one thing, more than most, one person who visits me often...leaving their....lessons etched in my mind, making my very fingertips ache and flutter, my heart boom with anticipation as my mind churns with wonder.
The one who teasingly dangles the key to my cage in front of me with a small smirk and smoldering glance. Oooh how she does tease and torment with her delightful little games and provoking little challenges. A true Master/Mistress in every meaning of the word, she tempts. lures, beckons and evokes such need until one is fully enrapt in her witchery, blissfully lost and bound to her charms. Oooh the things she can teach you, the boundaries and limitations she can push you past and through...leaving you breathlessly whimpering and begging for more....
Time and time again she has pushed me past my horizons...past what I thought I could handle...beyond what I thought I could endure; has left me pleading for mercy while simultaneously yearning for more. So many thresholds have been broached and shattered, opening my eyes to the many sensations that thrum through her being as further and further she pulls me into the numerous delights of her limitless wisdom and imagination. Stretching me beyond the walls of my own imagined confines and making me want more of the rapture she has to offer.
Trust me folks...heed my warning...the enchantments of VampireWitch39 are not to be trifled with...or perhaps...if you are the daring type...they are....
Thank you VW for popping so many of my VR cherries in such exquisite ways!!!
Ok, so home from work and I find myself a bit bitey, I have warned everyone who has talked to me that today is just not the day to fuck around and find out. Now I have only been home for about 3 hours and wouldn't you know it, someone has already decided not to heed my warning. Now, most days I have decent control over my filter, you know that little voice in your head that says, "Well now, I probably should NOT say that." However, today being one of those days when I just have zero control over that shit, it seems that others have zero control over the comprehension of said warning. Conversation goes as follows:
Them: How was work?
Me: SSDD, it never changes.
Them: So, not the best day then?
Me: Did I stutter? You know it sucked it always sucks...don't mind me I am just in a mood, I'll get over it.
Them: Bad mood ehh?
Me: *sighs* Again did I stutter? Listen, if all you can do is just repeat everything I say in the form of a question please just stop talking, I have very little patience right now and I don't want to get any worse than I already know I am being.
At this point there is a long silence as I sit and drink my coffee, thankful that they heeded my advice and just stopped talking, but of course it did NOT last. And as you can see I warned them TWICE...is it not more than obvious that I am in a mood?? Even reading it you can see that the snark was a real tangible thing!!
Them: Soooo bad night I take it?
That is it, at this point I have had it, in my mind I would assume that this simple fact has been made perfectly OBVIOUS from minute go, from the moment I walked into my house, tossed my keys into the bowl and plopped my cranky ass down! Having little to no control over my temper or my mouth I look them right in the eye and say:
"Oh my fucking hell, why don't you go put on those bedazzled Captain Obvious spanks of yours with the matching little cape, given all the open space between your ears I am sure you’ll fly far.”
Them: Well someone is certainly cranky today.
Ohhh I feel that. heh
Oh they deserved it.
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